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« Previous 1 Next » Reviews 1 to 7 of 7 for To Win a War
Review for Chapter 1 from silverlasso on July 08, 2008 at 11:04:16 AM
This is pretty good...a little rough around the edges, but great concept. Feel free to continue.
Review for Chapter 1 from Jeram on June 29, 2008 at 12:27:01 PM
Kinda interesting so far, but nothing too exciting yet. I can see you've constructed a somewhat haphazard alternate universe, and although the article style is interesting, there is a part of me that finds it to be overly expository without any actual story behind it. As a prologue, it's decent enough, and tied with your description has ensured that I will at least keep an eye on what you write next for the time being. There are a few odd elements here, like the writing style of the articles - some of them seem far too informal (like calling mind magics "hard to grasp", which seems an odd way for a newspaper to put it), but I'll hold on off on any serious judgments until the next chapter.
-J
Review for Chapter 1 from Jay-F on June 24, 2008 at 09:38:46 PM
Interesting… I like the article format of this story, I tried a similar format once but it turned out quite dry, you have done a good job avoiding that. Is this a stand alone or the start of a story?
Thanks for writing,
Jay
Author reply from Myst
Thanks! Its the start of the story. I'm afraid the prologue is the only chapter in this format. Sorry.

Thanks for the review.
Review for Chapter 1 from Memory King on June 24, 2008 at 12:53:16 PM
This was extremely well written, the pace was good and Marcus's character was good. Not sure if this will turn out as my cup of tea though, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Keep writing!
Author reply from Myst
Wow, thanks. That's some praise from someone of DLP.

Glad you liked the pace and Marcus's character. I was worried an OC start would be a problem. As for this story being your cup of tea... It may or may not. Its obviously going to be a war epic, so we'll see how that goes.

Don't worry, Chapter 1 has been outlined and will be worked on today. I'm hoping that my Harry will be as well received as Marcus.

Thanks again for the praise.
Review for Chapter 1 from eXcalite on June 24, 2008 at 08:24:52 AM
Nothing much to say yet. Hopefully you will explain a bit more because Grindelwald breaking out of prison and mobilising an army in only 4 months is highly unrealistic. Also work on your writing, we need more details. So far a 2/5 but with potential to become more. And please change your summary into Harry/Gabrielle
Author reply from Myst
Yeah, I realize where that can seem unrealistic but it will be explained later on in the story. The happenings of France will come to light piece by piece. And I'll change the summary. Didn't think people would care about that.

I'm glad that this prologue at least got a 2/5. That's better than what I thought the DLP crowd would do.
Review for Chapter 1 from vylos on June 24, 2008 at 05:55:48 AM
Very interesting start. I suppose in the current time frame it is Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, at the beginning of the second conflict between Voldemort and Wizarding Britain...
Looking forward to seeing where you take this.
Author reply from Myst
Thanks. Yeah, the current time frame is the end of Harry's sixth year, right after Dumbledore's funeral. JKR went one way with the story... I'm going to go mine.
Review for Chapter 1 from Cateagle on June 24, 2008 at 04:11:26 AM
Well, now, that start does grab your attention. 'Twill be interesting to see what Grendelwald has been up to, especially since this appears to have taken place after the re-embodiment of Voldemort (though one wonders at what, if any, connection between Grendelwald and Tom). I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this story.
Author reply from Myst
The connection between the two, unlike most fanfics, does not exist. I've decided to go with a little twist on that end. As for the time period, Chapter 1 begins right after the end of the 6th book. So yes, it does take place after the rebirth of Voldemort. Thank you for the praise, although!
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