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Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 15 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
I like the concept of Macnair being an assassin of sorts. It's also good to see that Voldemort isn't just doing nothing now. So it seems the problem of what Harry and Tonks are trying to do are settling in. It will be interesting if they can pull it off. Umbridge controlling every aspect of information flowing in and out of Hogwarts is also sort of unique and will be good if pulled off correctly. It's good to see Dumbledore is still plenty awesome at the beginning of this chapter and fighting back. I prefer this Dumbledore much more then Canon's or many variations from Fanon. Harry having dreams that don't make sense seem to make me think that something similar to the end of Book 5 will occur at some point. Good to see what happened to the motorbike is finally explained, and taken care of in classic Tonks fashion. That’s… that’s just wrong,” Harry said, disgust spreading across his face. “I’m not going to go dig up dead bodies.” “It would have been the perfect midnight date –” ^ THIS needs to be written in a one-shot. DO IT SILENS! DO IT!!! Lawl Of course, they will have to kill someone for this to work. As I mentioned in my last review, the powerful stuff does not come free. “So I’ll transform into a cute Hufflepuff sixth year who idolizes the Boy-Who-Lived enough to ignore the Prophet and fantasize about his cute ass.” Harry went scarlet, and Tonks burst out laughing. - I laughed at this too. Dmitri is basically going to shoot himself in the foot however if he attempts to pull off his plan. Looks like the snakes are going to finally go through with their plan. All of these actions coming to ahead at once will be the boiling over point in my opinion. On the subject of Barnabus Cuffe, he is certainly a well-written asshole. It's also good to see Rita enter this story and not be a complete attention whore of sorts. Though I am also wondering what Dumbledore's end game is with Barnabus Cuffe in this situation. I don't expect such slime to keep their word. Finally, a small victory for Harry and Tonks in being able to convince Moon. Then we get what will most likely be one of this chapter's twists with Charlie Weasley appearing out of nowhere all fucked up. Finally, once again an awesome battle scene. Marshbanks also happens to be dead, no surprise and Charlie being Dumbledore's Romania Agent is creative. Sirius Black showing up is obviously a red herring. Either it's Sirius under imperius or someone polyjuiced as Sirius. Either way, things don't look well for Sirius Black. He moved suddenly, slamming his hand onto Harry’s shoulder. His entire body screamed with pain as Kemester sidestepped around him, yanking his arms behind his back and pinning them in a lock. “And you’re under arrest.” Silens, once again you can be a evil bastard with your cliffhangers like you are here. All I can say is things don't look good for Harry at all. Overall: Another great chapter, things finally seem to be coming ahead, whether it will be the boiling point only time will tell. All in all, another 5/5 chapter easily.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 14 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
Sanders is definitely one of the more logical ones on the team. I'm sort of surprised they don't have the manpower to watch Harry though. Considering how much Umbridge hates him at this point, you'd figure he be a top priority. The last line in their conversation couldn't be more true, which will end up hurting Dmitri. Draco seems to be very much like the Draco in Book 6 with his slipping grades. Which is interesting because I do wonder what plan Voldemort has them doing. Tonks color coding the paper is something she'd do, which further makes me think the character is well-written. It's little details like that make this story better then many others. The infamous Zabini wife is brought into the picture, and it turns out Harry already has quite the hurdle ahead of him. That hole is getting deeper and deeper for sure. The list of people were in an interesting bunch, and it was nice to see plenty of originality in the group. The idea of Simulamancy sounds awesome, but I doubt that it's without consequences considering. Sturgis Podmore is an interesting mid-chapter twist, along with the fact that he committed murder on Dumbledore's orders. Of course, the name Laertes Rawling (the one who was the contact) is now dead. Maybe Dumbledore has changed his mind from his earlier claims that he will not be like Lord Voldemort. The conversation between Dumbledore and Fudge is interesting. Though it is obvious that Fudge is a complete idiot. Cornelius, if I wanted to have somebody killed, the body would not be found, and nor would the killer,” Dumbledore said, his voice abruptly cold. “The person would simply be there one day and gone the next – and nothing would remain to tie the incident back to me. And you know this better than anybody.” - Now that is badass, and the way Dumbledore should be. Glad we get to see Alastor finally. So it turns out, Dumbledore did have the hit ordered. Dumbledore's grim prediction about Azkaban will most likely come true as well. Of course, HBP occurs except Ron and Harry reverse positions when it comes to Malfoy. The Harry and Tonks banter is growing. Moar Harry/Tonks smut! Lawl The conversation between Dmitri and Umbridge was interesting as well. Showing more information about both characters. Kingsley's future doesn't look all too bright either. Dmitri looking at Wizarding Finance Law tells me either that Dmitri will find a way to duel Harry, take everything in Harry's vaults, or end up having nothing done due to the fact that Harry's vaults are closed. Joker!Peeves once again is awesome. Though damn you Silens for leaving the question of who is the mysterious figure at Hogwarts at the end of the chapter. Being there for all the wrong reasons makes me think that it's someone who is suppose to be an ally to Harry or someone who is suppose to be generally good. Overall: I have to say this is my favorite chapter thus far, barely beating out the one that was my former favorite chapter. Well-written, the plot gets advanced once again, get to see more Joker!Peeves, Harry/Tonks banter, etc. There are plenty of more postiives for this chapter which is why this chapter gets a 5/5 from me.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 13 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
It's good to see some more humor again with the entrance stage right of Fred and George in this chapter. I liked your way to get a message to Harry from Tonks. However, six galleons for a book? A book should not cost as much as a wand lol. Our first look at Neville in Renegade, and it's good to see he's on Harry's side. Of course, Neville is being calm despite Harry being a giant git. Good to see Neville is reasonable though. It would be nice to see Harry trusting Neville. Ron putting Seamus in his place was excellent, good to see of Ron. About History of Magic, I've always wondered why the curriculum was not updated either. You'd figure even after Voldemort returned that they might learn about the First War at some point ever. Snape ripping on Malfoy did not come as a surprise considering the situation. The conversation between Tonks and Dumbledore was a fun read and very realistic considering the characters. Good to see Umbridge is still a big of a bitch as ever. Also good to see Harry just said fuck it, I'm outta here. I also laughed at the writing comment at the end. It was a good read the conversation between Harry and Dumbledore. You can tell the entire time how about are feeling about what's going on and each other when it comes to trust. Once again, the Potter accounts are brought up leading me to believe that they will end up playing a vital part in this story. Though one can see that Dumbledore is either lying to Harry or preventing Snape to tell Harry everything quite yet considering his conversation with Snape earlier. “Everyone who has seen, heard, or talked to you in the past couple of weeks,” Tonks replied conversationally. “But don’t worry – I’ve heard it makes for great sex.” - I laughed at that too. I also laughed at Harry paying tonks for the books. Also Joker!Peeves is simply epic. Overall: This chapter was nearly my new favorite, but not quite yet. The plot continues to move forward while the hole that Harry digs himself gets deeper and deeper. I loved the new additions in this chapter, especially Joker!Peeves. All in all, easily a 5/5 chapter.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 12 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
First off, I'm not even sure why anyone should blame Dumbledore for the Quidditch World Cup event as Dmitri seems to be saying should happen? Overall, it was a good conversation between Dmitri and Larshall. Also seems that Dmitri is quickly becoming a drunk, which won't bode well in the future for him. We get our introduction to Umbridge, and one can already tell that everybody can't stand her. Its nice to see Dumbledore beating Umbridge at several turns, despite the fact the ministry is beginning to take over the school. The Ministry bribing the Governors is interesting, though one would figure not everyone on the board can be bribed as such. Everyone does seem to be putting a great deal of attention for that motorbike. If they were smart enough to get away, don't they think that maybe the two would be smart enough to hide or destroy any evidence? Once again, showing the logic when it comes to Witches and Wizards is lacking. Just like in Canon, I consider it a dumb move for Harry and Ron to be talking about anything in the great hall. Someone could obviously be listening in and the word Snuffles is going to be obvious to anyone who is deeply involved in the situation. Ron's parting words seem to be quite true considering the hole that Harry is digging himself. It seems to becoming more and more impossible for him to get himself out of this hole one day. The interaction between Dumbledore/Snape/McGonagall was interesting. It's good to see McGonagall is just as disliking of Umbridge in this story. I thought it was highly ironic the twist that Dumbledore wants Snape to be in on the interrogation. Dumbledore seems to be involved to some manner with the potter vaults if his reaction is anything to tell us. Dumbledore invoking Lily was genius of him in order to get Snape to stay and shows just how crafty he is. It is obvious that Snape hates Dumbledore while Dumbledore does regret taking that route to get Snape to stay. Overall: All in all, another great chapter. The last chapter still is my favorite but this one advanced the plot along with showing us several different things going on. One can only imagine how this will all end up once it boils it over. Because it will end up boiling over at some point, the only question is when. So this well-written chapter from me gets a 5/5.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 11 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
Kingsley at the start of the chapter showing why he is one of the best aurors. Though to be honest, it's quite obvious that those three are up to something. The conversation was a good read. Though I wonder greatly now what just Snape has on Remus. Did Remus try to hit on Lily or worse? That seems to be the only plausible thing that Snape has on Remus outside something non-related to canon or his time as a Werewolf. Loved to see Tonks character and Metamorphmagus in general expanded in this chapter. All of which was said is plausible and makes plenty of sense. It's also good to see how Dumbledore has for a long time been fighting for the rights of others. Harry as a girl made me lol. Though I'm curious to as what Sirius and Tonks have in mind. I have an idea, if one considers canon. Hooray for Luna's point of view. The interaction between Luna and Girl!Harry is hilarious. Dmitri seems to be digging himself a even deeper hole though. It will come back to bite him on the ass. More Harry/Luna is a plus. However, I think that Dumbledore (since the express is part of his jurisdiction) among other things that occurred in Harry's third years would ever prevent Dementors from being used again. Considering if one decided to get cute and suck the soul from someone not Harry. Of course Luna would be able to see through Harry's disguise. Well another dead body on Harry's hands. Though in his defense, that wizard a idiot. I lawled at the fact Tonks was pretending to be Sirius Black on the motorbike. Harry also pretending to be Tonks was a genius idea. The last lines made me chuckle as well: “How does twenty-five become six?” Harry asked skeptically. “Well, Harry, it’s something like this,” Tonks said with a wink. “There are some people in life that money can buy; for everyone else, there are headshots.” Overall: Easily the best chapter thus far. Nothing more needs to be said as this chapter easily gets a 5/5.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 10 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
Well, if one thing can be said, Ollivander's won't be opening anytime soon. Honestly, if Harry was going to blow up a building, why the fuck would he stay around? People have no common sense or sense at all. Fleur showing up off her skills (sadly not the type most would want lawl). Too bad Harry didn't walk in on Tonks undressed, would of been a fun reaction. What a horrible watcher if the person actually thinks Harry blew up the wand place. The Law Enforcement people are not full of the brightest folk, though with Fudge being minister, I suppose that shows the type of people that Wizards and Witches are. Good thing Lupin was around, one of the more sensible ones in the group. Lupin was right in getting angry though, Harry continues to act like a "woes it's me brat." It's not like being a Werewolf was Lupin's choice or by any means a walk in the park. What a great twist though in the middle of the chapter, Snape forbidding Remus to tell about the vaults. Snape/Lucius interact, very realistic and not one sided by any means. Of course, Malfoy's still an idiot (Draco that is) which comes as no surprise. Their conversation does make me want to know what Draco's mission is though. Dumbledore continued pacing around the table where Harry was sitting, his thick brows furrowed deeply with thought. “Do you believe that the Death Eaters consumed themselves in the blast? A suicide attack?” “Voldemort doesn’t have the resources," Mad-Eye Moody scoffed from his spot at the end of the table. “And he’s never done it before, even during the first war unless they were under the Imperius.” Never really seen that ^ explored before. Though I must say, that would be a really interesting concept. I must say though, a Dark Mark on Voldemort's part would of been a very stupid thing to do. How someone was able to mostly duplicate the explosives means someone in Gringotts and or someone in the Aurors is a Death Eater. I say that because they would have access to those fireworks but not be able to duplicate them to that level exactly. Though Harry is most likely right in Snape being one of the few people being able to do that considering his work in Potions. Harry is sure determined, and I can't wait to see what the twins have in mind. Overall: Whatever the last chapter was lacking, this chapter had it certainly. Another great chapter, though not my favorite. Well-written, advanced the plot, and gave us more of an insight on Fred and George. All in all, a 5/5.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 9 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
Interesting concept that they were bribing them for access to the hall. Haven't read that concept before. Laertes Rawling, a new character that I'm sure will be involved more in the future. I've always wondered about the shotty security at the Department of Mysteries. Considering the fact that there is many dangerous magic and items down there like Dumbledore said. McGonagall is right in saying he's a security risk to the students. Showing once again that politics > students safety. Snape is really scared of Harry and Sirius. A side of Snape that you never really see in stories like that. A smart Ron that's not a complete idiot who just cares about himself, amazing! Haha I loled @ Harry being creeped out by stalker!Ginny. It's always interesting to see how much people are sheep in the Wizarding World. One minute you're the savior, next you're the next Dark Lord. Good to use Fleur left Gringotts and her conversation with Harry was well-written/realistic. We learn more about the Potter vaults, which I do wish there was more information about. Ollivander's blowing up as Harry and Fleur were walking by was definitely no accident. It actually seemed more like a muggle terrorist attack or something similar to the beginning of the movie, The Untouchables. I assume Mr. Ollivander was captured considering his vital skills. Overall: A good chapter, not the best. I don't want to say it's the worst but this chapter seemed to lack something that the others had. I still think it was an excellent chapter that was well-written. I'd give this chapter a strong 4/5.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 8 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
Larshall’s mouth fell open. “You should be dead, not knocking back rye like it’s Butterbeer! Damn it, Dmitri, we’ve gotta get you to St. Mungo’s!” “I’ll be fine, I’ve got enough anti-alcohol potion in me to stave off poisoning,” Kemester muttered, flipping through the page. “Did we ever get a full case file coming from Gringotts after Potter broke in there?” Anti-poison or no anti-poison, he should be passed out or not even coherent. Of course, he breaks another rule, digging that hole even deeper. Eventually his is going to pass Harry's. It's also a good thing that Dumbledore's handwriting is that public. Or is it? Not too sure. H.A.I.T, Umbridge's group i suppose but expanded? Dmitri will obviously try to work his way onto that team. Snape's gone M.I.A, interesting. Good to know that Moody supports Harry too, now involve him Silens! Haha Harry and Sirius's trust for Dumbledore has obviously lessened, which is unsurprising. Turns out Snape is with Voldemort talking. It seems odd that Snape would inform Voldemort that Harry and Sirius blackmailed Rufus if he is on their side. Voldemort's plan I have to admit is brilliant. Also seems that Draco and the other little snakes have a job to do. It should prove interesting as to what that job is. Overall: A good chapter, not my favorite or the best. However, it did everything it was suppose to including giving a more indepth look at Dmitri. Voldemort is definitely smarter then his canon counterpart. Harry is in many ways the same as his canon counterpart except more angry really. I'd give this chapter a 5/5. I also have to say that this chapter was very well-written.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 7 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
Trying to decide which character you dislike more between Dmitri and Harry is like deciding whether Stalin or Hitler is worse as I read the start of this chapter. Using Veritaserum on Kingsley though? Pretty sure that's illegal no? If so, that hole just got a little more deeper for Dmitri. Sanders snorted. “Yeah, because hauling Shacklebolt in on charges of treason so you could use Veritaserum without his lawyer present is completely legitimate.” - Was right heh Looks like Kemester just might be a Goblin's Prostitute though. I'm surprised how nobody has been able to contact these people all day. Good thing Voldemort isn't marching down Diagon Alley as they speak. Unsurprisingly, Bones said no to the warrant. Of course, now everyone's coming along for the ride. I'm sort of surprised that Harry and Sirius among others haven't left the house yet. Waiting for Scrimgeour to shut it down is taking a huge risk despite the fact it worked. Once again, Dmitri is in the right of area but his conclusion is off by a mile. Also, accusing the head auror of being bribed and not getting punished even a least bit is surprising. I'm surprised Harry and crew don't realize that eventually Dumbledore finds out about every thing. Harry and Hermione having it out was going to eventually happen, though I'm a bit surprised that Hermione is seeing Harry based off a media myth more then anything. She should know better but I guess anger does things to people's minds. Finally, Harry and Rufus meet. The conversation was realistic, and well done. I'm glad to see Rufus agrees with something I thought about about in the past when it comes to the Polyjuice Potion. “Guilty, your honour." - Holy Shocker Batman! Of course, Harry gets off with less then a slap on the wrist. Kemester shot to his feet. “My brother’s life,” he growled, “was worth far more than a hundred Galleons!” - Not according to the court, harrr. Dumbledore once again knows all, I wonder why the hell Harry expects any different by now? Of course, another twist, and a more original one I have to say. I have read very few stories where Voldemort even gets his hands on the prophecy, never mind right from the ministry. Overall: My new favorite chapter for this story by far. It moved along quite well both character depth and the plot. Grammar and spelling were good. I enjoyed this chapter very much to say the least. 5/5
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 6 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
I had to laugh at the notion that Harry wanted to use brooms again. Because the smartest thing to do when escaping from a crime scene is to use brooms to go flying in the area away from said scene. But of course, Harry got seen, in which one of the main points of the plan was to not be seen. Way to go Harry, keep it up. Lawl At least Sirius tells Harry he's basically being a prick of epic proportions. Another mention of the Potter vaults, very interesting. Nice to see the Magical Law Enforcement's Point of View. Dmitri and Harry are definitely more alike then they would probably care to say. I'm surprised though how everyone just agrees to go and search the house of a well respected auror so easily. This will start the digging for Dmitri's hole I'm sure. Of course, Dmitri makes a conclusion that is in the general area but completely wrong. Also, I am surprised nobody bothered to check to secure the door for even Dumbledore between the three of them. Lupin going to Snape was interesting but Lupin should know better to not go to Snape of all people. It would be interesting to see what Harry and Sirius end up doing to Snape. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be violent and gory. Hermione figuring out Harry went to Gringotts is plausible considering Harry couldn't be anymore obvious outside of a giant sign of what he was up to. I'd have to say though Silens, you can be a evil bastard when you want to be with the last two twists of the chapter. Kingsley being arrested and the Law Enforcement showing up at the house. Though I'm curious as to why the charm doesn't protect the house in general. I mean, it did so in the book no? I've never heard of it really protecting people or a group. Overall, a good chapter that really wasn't moving the plot along to the middle/end. However, it was good to see the other characters gain more depth and the plot being advanced nicely. A nice cliffhanger as well that makes me want to read on. 5/5 but not my favorite chapter.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 5 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
It's good to see this plan taking place so early in the morning. Though adding Lupin not knowing and at the same time coming across the plan accidentally was a good addition. Though Harry does rather wish Lupin was more vocal, I do wish Harry would remember who had helped Lupin all these years and the fact who's opinion was listened to all these years. Sirius was in Azakban while Tonks was not even around really being in school. Harry once again does show he needs a smack with his uncaring attitude really. Lupin once assumed that two of his best friends were dead, and they were killed by another. That, and the fact a very good friend (Lily) was also killed but at the same time none of them trusted him at the time of their deaths/jail sentence. It's glad to see humor injected into this story so it's not completely dark with the addition of Tonks. It's also good to see a realistic Tonks as well. My only question when it comes to them staying at the Leaky Cauldron, couldn't they of had stayed at their shop and avoided being in the area at all to anyone's knowledge? Finally, the trace is mentioned. Which just makes me think that Harry could of sat around with Dumbledore stating that someone else in the area used it, viola, problem solved and this story is gone. However, once again, this isn't that kind of story since Harry isn't acting logically really and overreacted. So no problem really. It's also good to see that the Goblins aren't totally ignorant of Harry being inside Gringotts. The interaction between Harry/Welmon was amusing to say the least. It's also an interesting twist to see the Potters account brought up, though I was hoping that it wouldn't involve Dumbledore. Also, the name Miguel Prince, any relation to Snape perhaps? The mirrors being used was good, since Canon Harry could of solved the whole problem in Book 5 by just opening his damn christmas present. What a horrible Godson I just have to say on that. Fleur being smart and not a total whore was also good to see. Though I do agree with Harry for once in that she should leave Gringotts. My question about this for the chapter: It's about 6:30 AM at the time this is taking place right? Seems awfully earlier for Dmitri among others to be there that early unless it was coming off the midnight shift or something. With that, Harry and Tonks escape from Gringotts, while the hole that Harry digs himself seems to be getting deeper and deeper. Especially with the fact that the Goblins will not be amused that someone was able to do what Harry did in Gringotts. Overall, excellent chapter, probably my favorite yet. I'd easily give it a 5/5.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 4 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
I have to give you credit Silens, you write a good Harry that needs to just be smacked and be told what the fuck is his problem. Though this is something I've always wondered about canon too. There is literally a monopoly with one single paper in the Wizarding world that so many people consider crap. Then one has The Quibbler which doesn't mostly do news up until Book 5. Though I'm a little surprised that despite Sirius growing up in two different pureblood families that he knows about as much as Harry knows on this information. We get to finally meet Tonks (always a plus). It's good to see a different point of view taken with getting Sirius and Tonks interaction. Though with what all the Moody references in this story, I'd love to see him on Harry's side. “Well, Mad-Eye got the kill – blew off half his face to get it – and that earned him a lot of Galleons,” Tonks said. “Long story short, a bunch of snooty pureblood accountants told him that under the legal terms, Alastor wasn’t entitled to the bounty because of some twisted legal loophole in Rosier’s will.” ^ Now that's badass on Moody's part. We finally get Voldemort's point of view. Though I hope he takes a more personal role in the story rather then just sitting on his throne all day, staring at the walls. The end of the chapter leaves a opening as to what could happen next and makes the reader want to read on.' Overall, another chapter in which the plot is advanced some more. We finally get to meet Tonks, and Voldemort enters stage left. There were no major grammar or spelling mistakes either which is a plus. I'd give this chapter a 5/5 but I would of liked to have seen more action in this chapter but understand what you were pulling off.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 3 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
With the beginning of chapter three, the reader can see Snape was right again. It's amusing to watch everyone act like they're stepping on glass around Harry. What they're saying is logical, but either Harry is in heavy denial or needs to be hit over the head with a hammer. Lupin exchanged a quick glance with Sirius. “You have to realize, Harry, in legal terms, you aren’t innocent,” Lupin began softly. Lupin is half right, Harry is not innocent in moral terms either. Deep down, he knew that him alone pulling off that stunt was insane. Harry treated the men chasing him as if they were Death Eaters. It's a new concept that I've seen in stories but a good concept that the two groups (Law Enforcement and Aurors) have tension between one another. Though I was surprised that Harry was only facing several years in Azkaban considering. Of course, the irony continues in that Harry in order to try and gain his innocence is going to commit what is basically a crime in bribing a public official along with blackmail.. Harry using his fame as a weapon does pretty much show that Harry truly did belong in Slytherin despite his not so smart thinking at times. Though I wouldn't consider serving someone like Voldemort that much of smart thinking either, so take it as you will. Finally, we also get to see Tonks being brought into the mix this chapter. It's good to see also that Harry wants information about the first war, showing he's not a complete idiot. Overall, another good chapter where the story continues to move along. The hole that Harry is digging himself seems to get deeper and deeper with every chapter. What will define this story in the end in my opinion is how Harry (if he does) gets himself out of that hole. Though as long as it isn't something like Rowling, I know I'll be happy. Again, no major grammar or spelling issues. 5/5 from me for this chapter.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 2 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
The chapter is aptly named Responsibility, none of which Harry is willing take of so far for his actions. Kingsley's character is further explored, and he's pissed off. Which is realistic, and good to see not everyone is letting "Saint Potter" get the royal treatment for his overreacting. Kingsley is right, and to be honest if Harry wasn't the BWL then he'd probably be cooling his heels in Azkaban at the moment. You can clearly read the conflict for Kingsley between the war with Voldemort with Harry as their only hope and wanting to see justice served. The result is quite the interesting combination. Lupin and Sirius are also clearly protective of Harry, though I'd assume that deep down they know how wrong Harry is here. Of course, Harry is an anger ball of rage after hearing the Prophecy, and comes off to Kingsley as indifferent about the whole situation. Which is interesting since a angry Kingsley when it comes to Harry is rare. The funny thing is that Kingsley is right the entire time almost, and it's tough to want to like Harry because of that. Of course, Lupin is trying to talk to Harry reasonably and Harry tries to excuse it while trying to fight down what I hope is guilt. I have to say the reason for those who were chasing Harry was acceptable, and plausible. It's also good to see Ron and Hermione acting like real characters instead of people who just turn against Harry for gold and books. Another excellent chapter, one can sense Snape's desperation and Dumbledore's tiredness at the situation already. Meanwhile, the other characters were realistic and the tone was good considering the situation. No major grammar or spelling errors as far as I can see. Overall, a 5/5 from me for this chapter.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 1 from Scrittore on August 27, 2009
To start off, I have never read a story where Harry overreacts about the letter despite Dumbledore and attempts to flee. Though the one thing I never got about the Ministry and Rowling's book five is the fact this was a muggle that knew about Harry's spellcasting. I mean it would be similar to Hermione's parents seeing Hermione cast a spell and trying to arrest her. The same goes for any other muggleborn parent or sibling for that matter. With Harry escaping the house, I was reminded how realistic and close that this Harry was written to Canon Harry. Using his survival instincts and pure luck to escape the house. The other characters were realistic. Though I considered it highly ironic that Harry ended up getting those people killed while trying to escape from a crime that he wasn't really at fault of. It would be like being accused of a murder you didn't commit and murdering someone so you can prove your innocence. It's good to see Dumbledore being the reasonable for once instead of Harry just acting like a sudden know-it-all at the age of 15 who can do no wrong. I'd also like to comment on the fact that Kingsley was very well done in the first chapter, and it was good to see a character that is barely used as to further advance the plot used more often. Another ironic point is that Snape is correct in this story thus far. Harry's actions finally ended up costing him a price that perhaps he cannot pay in the end. I have to admit, I laughed at this: “It was,” Dumbledore replied, “one belonging to Orion Black, Sirius’ father. It was emptied at some point, and assumed a cooking pot. Of course, the first time I saw Molly making stew in it, I knew what it really was.” I'd rate this chapter 5/5 overall. There was no issues with grammar or spelling as far as I could tell. It moved well, and the characters had depth to them. When I first this, I was definitely looking forward to moar.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 17 from Voice of the Nephilim on August 21, 2009
Thanks for the lengthy chapter. It's always nice to be able to lose yourself for a good, uninterrupted fifteen minutes. A very quality update.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 16 from All-powerful-oz on August 08, 2009
Cool stroy, bro. Extremely well written, and the suspense and action are very well done. Favourited.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 16 from Voice of the Nephilim on August 08, 2009
Nice to see a ridiculously quick update. A prisoner, conceivably, in the Wizarding world, would truly be fucked. Despite the vast amounts of punishment heaped upon Harry, all traces of the abuse would disappear with properly cast healing charms. This really seems like a no-win situation for Harry. I'm surprised Tonks was able to get Fred and George aboard. With how close knit the family is, I thought it might be harder. I really like this Peeves, though I haven't a clue what it all means. While I can buy Percy doing this, it would have been nice to see him earlier in the story, so that his complicity was firmly re-established to the reader before this happened. Unless you did, and I just forgot. Brilliant idea for smuggling Harry into Hogwarts. I'm surprised they didn't take picture of Harry to implicate Kemester before healing him. I doubt they'd let him use pensieve memories to clear him. Peeves makes for good cliffhanger fodder. Three Death Eaters? Snape, one. Um, I'm at a loss for the other two. Very well done on the chapter.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 15 from BJH on August 04, 2009
Amazingly crafty of the DEs to have someone ployjuiced as Sirius. It would simultaneously draw attention away from Voldemort and onto one of Dumbledore's allies. Not to mention really screw with Harry. he was rescued by Sirius from the train and attacked by him at Hogsmeade. And what is going to happen now that harry is in custody? BJH
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 14 from Swimdraconian on July 26, 2009
Fucking intense. I am blown away by the sheer WIN of this story. The tension in this story draws the reader in and doesn’t let go. Harry’s isolation from his friends and peers is both emotionally compelling and very realistic; I’ve seen very few people who are capable of pulling this off and fewer still who do so with such flair. His change is believable and as powerful and ruthless as he becomes, there are still others who are better. I’m impressed. You’ve given each of the characters their own unique voice and I can almost see this coming to life right off the screen. One of the best portrayals of Harry I’ve seen in a damn long time. That, and the fact that your plot is so fucking twisted I don’t even know where to begin… The only thing I can complain about is that you might want to find yourself a beta reader as there are a couple of small grammar errors here and there. Nothing significant, but enough to make it a bit jarring at times. A beta should clear that up for you. Wonderful story. I would definitely group this with the best DLP has to offer. Moar please. -Mic
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 14 from BJH on July 24, 2009
So who is this person? Did Harry and Tonks stick around long enough to see him? The plot is getting thicker. I did note a couple wrong words used tht detracted from the chapter a bit. You said "a dearth of evidence" when I think you meant "a wealth of evidence". A dearth means a lack of. You also had someone state that an action was unconstitutional. The constitution is an American document and has no bearing in England even if the Wizarding World cared about Muggle laws which we have no indication that they do. Keep up the good work. BJH
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 13 from Vir on July 14, 2009
So, the whole "Pissed off Harry thing" has gone from interesting to bloody annoying. He's making mistakes and he's not thinking properly. Snape was right, he's an idiot. Sure, he's cunning at the moment, but he seriously needs anger management. It also doesn't make sense why Dumbledore wouldn't just be straight with Harry. That seems to solve a lot of problems. If Harry and Dumbledore would just sit down together, be rational, and talk things out then a lot of Harry's problems would go away. Are you planning on toning down the Pissed!Harry?
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 13 from Laolio on July 10, 2009
Hmm, very interesting. You've taken Paranoid!Harry, but kept everyone else at least trying for the same goal. Rather than Evil Dumbledore, or other such nonsense. Anyway,. very good so far, I'll be looking forwards to see what's happening.
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 13 from fooboo27 on June 24, 2009
So I see Harry is still biting the hand that feeds him. The writing's great, but I think you might be taking Independent! Harry to its extreme here. Harry pretty much has zero skill to back up his trash talk. Somehow, I don't see much of a future ahead of him...
Review for Renegade Cause Chapter 12 from carvell on June 17, 2009
I must say this is getting better and better with each new chapter and the way you have wrote the mystery involing the potter vaults dosent make it 'clitch' in any way. looking forward to the next chapter
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