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Review for Chapter 1 from J. B. Wock on July 26, 2013 at 06:21:12 AM
This is an alright fic. But not really anything too stellar. Simple; it's a description of a bank heist. For me the only thing that spiced reading it was the appropriate music playing in the background.
Where's the tension, the buildup and the climax that is the requisite of a good thriller?
My suggestion; expand it. Make it into a multi chapter fic- can go up to 20 chapters if you play it right. From the buildup to when Harry goes for a life of debauchery and decides to take what his his to gathering the crew and planning the heist. And of course a more detailed bank job in itself. The premise ( a group of professional thieves going by the name of Marauders) is promising...the execution needs work.

And where in Heaven's name is Hermione? Not even a mention of her...that's also pretty odd.
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