Author Response

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Review for Chapter 2 from Jeram on March 16, 2008 at 02:01:31 AM
This is ridiculously too short for a chapter, much less two. Not only that, but it reads like someone's boring field report of what you'd think might be interesting.

Here's an idea to help you out: Please consider breaking up your story into paragraphs. This one huge blob of text is nearly impossible to read. It's just not easy for a reader to process that much at once.

Also, do you really need to use this format for your story? First or third person narrative might suit you better. Think about why you were using this "report" style, and whether it's truly needed for your story.

Good luck,
Review for Chapter 1 from Randeemy on March 10, 2008 at 02:29:26 PM
Far, far too short, even for a prologue.

Having said that, it could provide a setup for an interesting story, something a little different.

Aren't Unspeakables researchers in the Department of Mysteries? How would they be more qualified to fight the 'Thirteen' than Aurors?

To use the DLP rating system: 1/5
Author reply from Jay-F
The unspeakables work in the DoM, not all of them are researchers, and they have acess to information and training that aurors do not have access to.
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