Sometimes I feel like life hates me. Every time something’s finally going well, it just comes back and smacks me in the face. Whatever. At this point I’m just learning to deal with it.

I’m entering my sixth year at Hogwarts. People are telling me that this is supposed to be the best year of my life, how much they grew emotionally and intellectually during this year. But I can’t understand how I’ll enjoy it when so much is happening around me.

Firstly, my older brother James is being a thorough ass lately. Not towards me, we’ve always got on somewhat okay, but towards pretty much everyone else. Mum says it’s because he’s in his seventh year, says it gives him a big head. Dad reckons it’s because of girl troubles, though I don’t see how he can have girl troubles when he hasn’t got a girl. And out cousin Rose, who’s been staying with us more and more frequently recently, things it’s just because he’s been restless lately, this year being his last at Hogwarts and all. I for one am not even going to pretend I know what goes on in that twisted mind of his. I give up.

I suppose I could pretend that the next bothersome issue on my list does not affect me at all, but that would be a huge lie. And I don’t lie. It doesn’t bother me emotionally (not much does), but does it fuck with my life? Hell yeah. See, the problem is my younger sister Lily. Fourteen, redheaded, brown-eyed, petite. Utterly personable and amazingly clever. Easy going, ambitious and quick. She doesn’t sound like much of a problem, does she? But the thing is, probably only 5% of Hogwarts even knows of her existence.

When she was eleven, instead of following the family’s traditions and beginning Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she decided to go with my Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron and our cousin Hugo to live in France. Aunt Hermione had some kind of research she wanted to accomplish there, and although Hugo was excited to go, and Uncle Ron was willing to follow his wife there, Rose didn’t want to leave Britain for the year they were going to spend there. So Lily, being her brilliant self, decided to take Rose’s place and attend Beauxbatons, the magic academy in France, while Rose stayed here with our Nana Molly and Grandad Arthur. Mum and Dad permitted Lily to go because as they said, it would only be a year.

But it didn’t take a year. It took three years.

And as positive and optimistic and happy as Lily was in those years before she left, when she would come home to visit at holidays and things I saw that person swiftly drifting away. She grew more and more detesting of our family (except for James; they’ve always had a soft spot for each other), and toward the beginning of her third year finally stopped coming home altogether. She eventually stopped writing as well. The only updates of Lily we received were from Aunt Hermione’s letters, or sometimes the ones we got from Hugo, who is just as brilliant as Lily.

But now, after three years, Aunt Hermione has finished her work in France and is moving her family back to Britain. Lily, of course, protested leaving Beauxbatons and tried to beg Mum and Dad to permit her to continue there, but Dad put his foot dawn and told her in certain terms that she was moving back and coming to Hogwarts starting with her fourth year of school.

I’m dreading it, really I am. I can’t stand my sister anymore. I loved how it was at home when she was away. Well, not at first, but later on when James and I started to get on well, and then when Rose started hanging around more. Rose became like my replacement sister, only less bitchy and cynical.

I can’t talk about my dilemma to anybody. Mum is of course ecstatic for Lily to be coming home. She’s already fixed up Lil’s room and everything. And James is the same way, excited even through his pessimistic attitude of recent times. Rose is overjoyed at her family’s homecoming. I think Dad might be the only one who shares my feelings, even though he’d never say it. I think he might be even less pleased with Lily’s transformation than I am. Of course he doesn’t say so, but I can tell. I know my dad like that.

Lily arrives the first day of school. She’s putting off coming home until the very last moment. Not that I mind in the least. But still, it’s rude of her not to go home to see Mum and Dad before the school year starts. Dad says he doesn’t mind, but I know he does. He tries to hard to help her but she just pushes it away. Dad even requested for Headmaster Flitwick to find a student to show her around at first and stuff, which of course was obeyed. And of all people, he chose Roldine Hathway to be her guide.

Roldine is the other thing on my mind. She’s a sixth year with me, and absolutely spectacular. She’s got the best grades in our year, and the best personality too. She can make anyone smile when they’re down, and comfort anyone who’s upset. She’s friendly to all. And the teachers love her. But it’s not only her personality—she is beyond gorgeous. She’s got this auburn hair straight down to her waist, and these huge brown eyes, not to mention a smile to die for. Last year we were good friends because I was a Gryffindor prefect and she was one for Ravenclaw. We really hit it off. But how am I supposed to ask out the girl when she’s being the guide of my bitch of a sister?! Yeah, I can’t.

So I’m really not looking forward to this year, this year that’s supposed to be the best on my life. James says I look on the negative side of things way too much. But the way I see it, I’d rather be pleasantly surprised when something that I dint’ expect goes right than be terribly disappointed when something goes wrong. Call me crazy, but I’d rather not feel than feel.