Finally edited by Tinn. She’s a saint for doing it twice.
A.N. Much thanks to Shezza for getting me out of my block, and the continued support and proof reading from Anna, Jon, Vash, Tinn, and whoever decided to pop in DLP WBA for Dresden Files. Quazi, Mr. F, and Robo come to mind from WBA.
Chapter 15
The Detectives Harry
Harry Blackstone Copperfield DresdenVenatori Umborum Secret Hospital
“…didn’t make sense, but orders are orders. I guess it was a good opportunity, but we should’ve known if anything could fight a phoenix to a tie we shouldn’t mess with it.” The man pulled long from his cigarette. “I was the first to him, ran him through with a sword, right in the heart.” He made a thrusting motion with his hand, driving the point home. “Thought I had him too. Funny thing, I was pretty happy, killed an Outsider, you know.” The rookie Warden rubbed his cigarette butt in the armrest of the chair and lit up another one. This was his fifth since he had started telling us what happened.
Out of the five rookies and three veteran Wardens who went, there was only one left coherent enough to tell us what Harry the Outsider did. And I am using the word “coherent” liberally here. They were all brutalized by psychic attacks – the veterans fared the worst.
We were having the rookie go over his story for the third time. Every time he added a little or forgot something. The Merlin was losing it over the unreliable witness.
“Then what happened?” the old wizard with the healing fire gently encouraged the rookie.
The rookie, a heavy-set man at thirty-something, nodded his limp-haired head to come out of his daze. “So yeah, I run him through, was pretty happy, killed an Outsider, I thought bragging rights for life. Should’ve known better though, but we were ordered so…” he trailed off repeating what he had already told us.
“What happened after you stabbed the Outsider?” LaFortier demanded impatiently.
“A song… sweetest thing you never heard since your mother’s lullaby. The Outsider, damn thing looked just like a kid, broken so bad I pitied him. I pulled my sword free and sat down to listen to his song-”
“The Outsider was singing?” the Merlin asked.
“Just melodious,” he sighed happily, “made you feel all was wonderful in the world, you know, like sunshine and daisies. His wounds started steaming and healed right in front of my eyes. My team was also sitting down listening to his song. Sounded like an angel.” The rookie stopped yet again to light up another cigarette from the one at the end of its short life. His hands were trembling, matching his lips – the man was scared and distracted.
Not the brightest of the Warden corps, or maybe he was like that because of what Harry had done to him. I didn’t know. What I did know was that three veteran wardens were lying unresponsive in hospital beds, not a mark of injury on them. That is unless you saw them with the Third Eye; a whole different story then. They were all pale and looked frightened as hell.
The four other lower ranking wardens… well, one had his arms behind him welded, yes, I said ‘welded,’ to his ankles beside the psychic wounds. One more was sporting a wound across his stomach about eight inches long that wouldn’t stop bleeding, the third had aged four decades and just wept, the fourth – oh and I love this one – the fourth was a talking dildo.
Try imagining smuggling a man-sized walking talking dildo into a hospital. We kept him under covers. He had a tendency to get excited.
And the last of the group, their least experienced was sitting in the middle of a circle of top wizards from the White Council ostensibly being ‘debriefed.’ So far, after several times of him telling us the story, this is what I can figure out: Harry beat the shit out of them.
Like our lucky friend said, after stabbing the Outsider he sat down with the rest of his team to listen to a song, some kind of bewitchment we were sure. Harry healed himself and walked away before announcing he wasn’t going to let them off that easy and came back.
The song’s bewitchment ended and battle ensued. The results I have already described to you. Our rookie was never able to shake the song’s magic and wasn’t too much help to his comrades.
To save the day the cavalry of the veteran Wardens arrived; the road we found them on showed their skill in deep gouges, heaved pavement and whole full sized trees uprooted and thrown about. Yes, there was an SUV that was sitting upended on top of a house too. We left it there.
Our witness couldn’t tell us much about that part. His eyes went wide and unfocused as soon as he got to the veterans showing up and an exchange of spells. All he said is: fear.
And after that one word he even forgot the cigarettes.
“Is the Outsider harmed, is he weakened, did you see where he went?” LaFortier unrelentingly questioned.
“The lieutenants got him before, before…before-” The rookie gulped, his mouth left open in a rictus of terror as he saw something we couldn’t.
“Before what?” the old wizard healer prodded quietly, and we all hoped we’d find out.
“Fear.” We all stayed quiet waiting for him. He’d lit up another cigarette; it was a very good sign. “You never felt fear like this. It was physical, you could touch it, taste it.” He laughed a crazy little laugh. “No, no, no. It touched you, tasted you.”
I felt an involuntary shudder go through me from the base of my neck to my back at the man's creepy description. Looking around I saw very grim faces; others were affected too.
“How did you survive when your commanding officers did not?” Martha Liberty asked the question we had all wondered about.
“The Outsider conjured powerful white magic. A spirit stag. So beautiful it made you weep. It saved me.”
“Saved you from the Outsider?” I asked, out of place, and took the glares of Senior Council without care.
“Saved me from fear.” He crushed his cigarette onto the armrest for the last time and didn’t light another one. Bad sign, and sure enough he became unresponsive after that.
The hospital was a secret facility of the Venatori Umborum. They are a group of financially powerful mortals who fight the strange and fantastical threats to our world with banks, money, and top of the line weaponry; the best science has to offer. They have been the White Council’s staunch allies for centuries.
We were on the top floor of a downtown sky scraper. The kind of place where the monthly rent of one office was three or four times your average Joe’s life savings. A pristine medical facility made up the entirety of the top floor, with nurses and doctors who had seen everything from troll flu to pixie STD’s; and before you ask ‘pixies?’ think gerbils.
Yup, some days I am pretty ashamed of belonging to the human race too.
It was fun to watch the doctors and nurses try to keep a straight face as they checked out Richard. That would be the talking dildo Warden. His name isn’t really Richard, but I think it’s an apt nickname.
“Doctor, do you think he just needs a massage? I think he’s tense,” I added my two cents. The Senior Council had booted me from their discussion of what to make of our witness’s story, so I had nothing better to do than annoy the staff.
Which I did, handily, and got booted from there too.
“Wizard Dresden, we have a job for you,” Martha Liberty of the Senior Council called me and I went over to her like and eager child. Finally! Something I could do.
Later I would be cursing my enthusiasm.
Harry James Potter & Roqariel AnaneIn a mindscape
After sending The Gatekeeper a message I let Roqariel heal me. It didn’t take her too long; during the battle she had become more comfortable in my body and was able to take care of me quickly. My sweet hellion.
She did screw up when I gave her control over my body for a duel. So I had to punish her. I told her to write an essay about what she did wrong and hand it to McGonagall while I waited for Karrin to show up in her office; I had decided to check on Karrin after the White Council attacked me, thinking they might’ve gone after her too.
McGonagall is now walking to me with Roqariel’s essay, and she doesn’t look happy. She throws it in my face and stomps away.
“Ouch, what’s wrong with you, woman?”
“I can’t believe you told a child to write that, Harry Potter. Shame on you.”
“Fine, I’ll grade it myself.” I am bored anyway, been hours and Karrin hasn’t showed up. So I open up the scroll and start to read.
It was the second day that my guardian released me from the chains of eternal Void. I hugged to the warmth of his soul after centuries of bitter cold. His heart and rage beat like they had when I wrapped around him in the great Outside before. I missed him dearly. But we were joined even better on Earth than the times he came and went from my prison. Such power flows in him of different tempers I can’t help but bathe in it. I sang to him as I poured healing blood from the red oceans of Hell. He jests about my music but I feel it empower him, I feel my voice intertwine with the thrum of his powers and I know he loves it too.
He has taken my coin and there is love in him that soothes me even if I will never be truly free. He is the one I was waiting for. My sister, Lasciel, couldn’t have chosen better. Finally I have someone who will teach me and raise me until I reach my maturity. I don’t know if he will make me fall deeper into Hell or reach for Heaven, he doesn’t understand I am his to mold.
It doesn’t matter; he cares. Cares so terribly that only one promise that Lasciel took from him to guard me in a moment of lust will move him to strike anything, defy anyone to protect me. He is my darling keeper, my sweet guardian, the warm vengeance I danced with in the void, he is Harry Potter.
“Yes, yes, all very pretty and nice, but get to the good part. I told you to write me an essay on our latest duel not a ‘Dear Diary’ piece.” I say, looking at the fallen angel dressed in a Hogwarts uniform and sitting with me at the library tables.
It even smells like ink and dust like it did in the real library. If I look up I can see bookcases spiraling all the way to the fifth floor and even some old classmates from memory flitting in and out, dropping tomes and falling off running ladders. Roqariel can paint a wonderfully real picture inside my head.
“If you could just read on,” she says primly, brushing a brown-read lock from her forehead, leaving a trail of blood that looks wrong on her angelic little face. I reach over and wipe it off.
“Fine, I will. But this doesn’t read like you wrote it because I was punishing you. You sound as if you’re enjoying it,” I complain, rolling open the incredibly long scroll and wishing I had assigned her something else to do.
The thing of it is that after my little tiff with the phoenix, after which I was left crushed into the ground and bleeding from everywhere, the bastards from the White Council attacked me. Now at first, Roqariel—being the sweetheart she is—sang a beautiful song, using my voice, mind you, and put them all to sleep. She healed me up enough that I could move and I decided to teach the White Council a lesson for their cowardly attack.
Somewhere in there Roqariel got blood lust, and after asking me in her adorable way if she could, and I said she could, she went to fight one of the staff wizards in my place. Except she wanted to fight him with my magic, something about liking my power; anyway, she botched it up. And so I had to punish her for letting her battle rage get in the way of my orders. It’s odd to coach someone else to use your body and magic.
Well let’s see, I told her she had to write me an essay analyzing the duel and explaining her mistakes. So far all I knew was that she, like Lasciel, had a thing about ‘bathing’ in my power. While when Lasciel said this it was kinda hot and sexy, with Roqariel it’s disturbing.
“What are you doing now?” I ask her as she swings her shoes shined to an unnatural polish a foot off the ground because she is too small to reach the ground.
“Reading first year Magical Theory,” she answers happily, turning a page of that god awful book.
“Don’t,” I tell her shortly, and go back to her essay with a suppressed sigh. I asked for a foot, she gave me a mile.
“But I can’t grow up if I don’t go to school. I have to live through every year you’ve lived.” She pouts her pink little lips and upsets the witch’s hat on her head. I reach over, straightening it and pulling her chair closer to the table so she doesn’t lean over so far to reach the book. It worries me that she might fall and hurt herself, she is so tiny.
“You’re going to live my life so you can grow up. That’s a very bad idea, how about I just raise you? Besides that book will kill you with boredom.”
“It will take too long. For every year of your life I live from your memories, I’ll grow up a year. I can’t wait.” She gives me a toothy, innocent-looking --grin. That only makes me look at her eyes for that murderous streak she has, but no, she’s calm and acting the little girl right now.
“Sounds like a terrible idea to me, but hush now, I should finish reading your essay.”She gives me a frightened look, which I find odd, but then starts rushing through the stack of my first year books that even I didn’t know I remembered.
I start on her essay, knowing she expected to be punished for healing me, and since I had promised a punishment it only makes sense I carry it out all the way. It wouldn’t do for her grow up thinking I wouldn’t spank her if she asked for it.
Okay…I was somewhere around ‘dancing in the void,’ ah! There it is. I trace my finger across her simply beautiful handwriting and begin again.
While I healed my guardian a human dog stabbed him through the chest with an enchanted sword. Vile wizards using magic against the very beings who granted them the gift of it. They have forgotten who brought the knowledge from Heaven to test them and they dare use it against us.
I charmed the mind of the wizard and all other usurpers of the knowledge who came with him to attack my host. Cowardly vermin they were and fell just to the power of my lullaby. I swore vengeance but my first worry was my darling keeper. I healed the chest wound and my host stumbled from the battle ground, I wished I could help him more but he is prideful and strong and left the battlefield in his own power as all warriors should.
My blood boiled like Hell’s ocean lapping at my wings at the daring of the wizards. We both turned on the enchanted wizards and brought such fear upon them that they almost lost their souls to it. It was a darkness old and deep from my keeper’s memory. I called it and he brought the dogs to heel, whimpering as they should have in front of their masters.
“I see you skipped the part where you took me over to duel one of the ‘dogs.’ Never mind, I like the story. Just don’t ever talk like you write. It is a nightmare to read, sounds like Merlin's diary.” I shake my finger at her and she pretends she didn’t hear me and was too engrossed in a potions text.
Reading on.
…wait, what is this language? I pull the scroll free, spreading it out, but there is nothing but gibberish to me.
“What’s this?” I ask and she gives me an all too unbelievable bewildered look.
“Oh! I started writing in Aramaic. I’m sorry. It’s going to take so long to translate it,” she says, heartbroken.
I roll my eyes and pick up the book I handed to her earlier to read. It is a Defense Against the Dark Arts book. She has been through two others since then. I go to the chapter detailing curses and hexes she had used and point to a moving illustration.
“Now you see what you did?”
“Yes.” She looks very contrite.
“And what have we learned today?”
“Don’t turn an evisceration hex into a disembowelment curse midway,” she recites as if she’s learned it by rote.
“Good little hellion.” I pat her reddish brown head, my hand comes away red with blood. “You have got to do something about this whole fallen angel blood and fire motif.”
She raises her dainty hands to her hair falling in two pony tails, and as she brushes it through her fingers, the hair changes form to become strands of fire illuminating her eyes and playing on her skin. “It is either blood or fire. Do you like it like this?”
“Well at least my hands won’t be getting wet anymore, they’ll just burn if I touch you. But yeah, it actually looks attractive, when you grow up that look will break a lot of hearts.”
She gives me a happy smile and takes my hand to brush it in her flaming hair. All I feel is comfortable warmth and it actually relaxes me to run my hands through her hair.
“I am sorry I let that Warden get away.” She lowers her eyes in shame.
“Hey, it’s alright. You had really nice flair, great lines too. That ‘smite you enemy of my guardian’ really touched me. Tell you what, I will let you play with my wand when we’re not in the middle of a duel so you can get used to it.”
“You will trust me with your body again?” She looks to me in disbelief.
“Mhm. You know, don’t repeat this conversation to anyone. I don’t think they will understand it outside of context.”
She smiles wickedly, “When I am ready to break hearts maybe it will be the right context.”
“Alright then, we went from a cheery bonding moment over a botched-up attempt to disembowel a wizard to something incredibly disturbing. No more ice cream for you; makes you too horny.”
“What’s horny?”
“Christ. I am not telling you.”
“She is here.” Roqariel loses her playful face and I see the flash of evil in her eyes. She is ready to kill. Scary little angel, I better figure out how to pull her out of Hell.
One second I was sitting with her in the library and now I am sitting on Karrin’s chair in her office. I see her walk in and slam the door shut behind her. She’s got her hair in a knot and bags under her eyes. Still, she looks pretty hot in her jeans and tight black T-shirt.
Merlin, that fireleg on her waist really makes you look at that hip roll, Bill comments, sitting on top of her desk. He’s always checking out the women in my life, you’d think with Fleur at home – oh, well she isn’t dead yet. I should save her too when I get back.
I space out and Murphy pulls at her office chair that I am sitting on.
“What the hell?” she mutters when the chair doesn’t move.
“Sorry Karrin, one sec.” I dissipate the Dillusionment charm and the white of her eyes becomes large. At least she didn’t scream.
“How did you?” she shouts and then whirls around to close the blinds of her office. “What happened to you, you’re covered in blood.”
I smile at her angry and worried face and watch her drag a visitor chair close to me. She peels back my torn shirt to check my healed wounds.
She’s undressing you already? Blood on a body can be very arousing. That’s Bill again.
“Not everyone thinks like a werewolf, Bill. Blood doesn’t do it for me.” A flash of Fleur in a provocative pose with blood trickling down her crosses my vision and I shudder. “You’re sick, fang-ear.” How can he think that’s sexy?
I feel a hand on my face and come back to Karrin’s dark eyes. “Harry? Harry, are you okay? Who are you talking to?”
“I’m fine, Karrin. A magical creature and those White Council bastards tried to kill me. It looks worse than it is.”
“Well it looks terrible, how did you survive?” She leans back to lock the door so no one comes in.
I pick up the sticky I’d taken from her desk and hand her the address of her home written on it. She looks at it, confused for a moment, before she’s shocked. I watch Fleur appear and glare at Bill who is trying to peak down Karrin’s shirt. With the part-Veela distracted, I ogle her as much as I like.
“I have been looking everywhere for my address. It’s not in my Human Resource records, I asked. They’re pissed I didn’t give it to them. How did you know I was looking for it?”
I see relief on her face and know that she’s going to lose it when I tell her it was my doing. Safety first, though. I take the slip back and burn it in my hand.
“I hid your home, Karrin. You are in danger because of me. The White Council knows I will protect you, and the Fallen Angels know you mean something to me. We can’t let them walk in your home and kill you anytime they like. So your house cannot be found by anyone but people I tell. Do you understand?” I give her my best Harry Potter Defeater of Voldemort look.
“They know where I live?” Her face doesn’t betray any feeling but her hand almost goes to the cursed cross she’s wearing.
“I’m sorry.”
And I truly am. She was a target before I showed up but she’s in greater danger now that she is my friend.
“Things got out of hand last night and I couldn’t tell you. I have a Fallen Angel of my own now, she’s telling me everything about the Denarian group who want me. I will take care of them soon and then you won’t have to worry.”
She leans back in her chair, looking furious. “Right now I don’t understand any of this and I can’t deal with it. I have streets blown up, residential areas with unexplainable craters, burned walls, and two people who, from what I’m being told, had their hearts ripped out.”
“Oh that wasn’t me!”
“I’m not saying it was you…wait, why are you looking guilty?” She narrows her eyes.
“Just because I made you mad. I’m sorry.” Yes! I can lie! But I really didn’t take out anyone’s heart.
“Nothing makes sense anymore.” She speaks to herself. I can’t really imagine what she’s going through. Of course when I learned about magic it wasn’t very violent; other than a half-giant breaking down the door. “Are you really okay?”
Fleur turns on her charm to bring Bill to heel, she sucks me in too. What a goddess!
“Harry! Harry!”
I feel a burn on my cheek and come out of Fleur’s magic.. Karrin’s hand is still raised. So she slapped me.
“Look, I get you carry around a big gun but can’t you be a little less violent?”
“I don’t think you’re alright. You keep losing concentration and start spacing out. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“No, no! It’s just my friends, they’re here and you see Bill’s wife is a Veela, that’s like a succubus but not really. She just started charming him into submission and I got spelled too. Sorry, won’t happen again. And I am fine, how many times do I have to say it?”
“Almost everything on you is shredded and bloody, what do you expect me to think?” She’s angry again. “Now I’ll have to buy you another shirt.”
“No.” I lose my good humor. I am not letting her do this to me again. “You are not buying me anything. I will get my own clothes.”
“How?”
“Somehow,” I bite out repressively but it doesn’t affect her.
“Can you make money appear with magic?”
“No, of course not. Otherwise everyone would be making their own galleons.”
“So you need a job to make money?”
“That’s how it usually works, Karrin.” She doesn’t fail to notice the sarcasm, if her narrowed eyes are anything to go by.
Bill quickly leaves the office trying to escape his wife’s wrath at checking out Karrin. Fleur stays behind, taking his seat on the desk in her silver robes, hunching a little so her white-blond hair brushes against my arm.
“And how do you get a job without an I.D. or an education?” Karrin presses on. “I don’t think you want to be washing dishes or delivering pizza for a living?”
She doesn’t get to the point, does she, ‘Arry? What does Bill see in her? Am I not beautiful?“You are a goddess of otherworldly beauty, Fleur. Bill is just mesmerized by her knockers.”
“Who are Fleur and Bill? You’re spacing out again.” Karrin is upset. I choose not to tell her what is going on.
Fleur leans back to prop herself up on her elbow languidly. It, of course, makes her breasts look like they are begging to be caressed.
“I see your point, Fleur. Both of them. I don’t know what Bill is thinking, and no Karrin doesn’t get to the point.”
Karrin shoves me over so that the seat I am on rolls to the side. She pulls open her drawer and takes out a card which she throws in my lap. It has my picture on it. The name is ‘Harry Phineas Albus Octavias Flammelias Dumbledorus.’
“So this is why you had me take pictures yesterday when we were out shopping?”
She simply nods in answer.
“How the hell did you remember that name? I made it up to bug Charity.” I am actually impressed.
“I’m a cop, I remember details. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t your real name. That’s a fake driver’s license, a very, very good one.” She looks annoyed.
“Why? Won’t this get you in trouble because you’re a policewoman?”
“Police officer. It could, but you’re from a different world. How are you supposed to make it here? You better not screw up, I don’t like doing this.”
Mon Dieu, maybe I should let Bill sleep with her after all, she’s wound tight. He’ll open her up for you. All this drama over a piece of muggle plastic. Pah!“Thank you, Fleur. Do you mind being less sexy, it’s distracting.”
I am what I am, ‘Arry. She sighs prettily and winks at me, knowing she has me wrapped around her finger. A delightful laugh from her and she sits more modestly so I’m not counting the rise and fall of her chest every time she breathes.
“Can you tell your friends to come back another time? This is serious.”
“Eh, you never met a Veela, have you? She’ll do what she wants. Anyway I just came here to give you your address and tell you to be safe. I need to go find Dresden now.” I try to get up but she steps close enough to me that I would be hugging her if I stood up. Getting her message, I sit back down.
“You have an I.D. So you’re set. I’ve called in a favor and set you up to meet an old acquaintance at the High School by my home. You will go there tonight and start classes. If you want to survive in our world, you need to know how it works and graduate so you can make a decent living.”
I blink at her in confusion. Fleur bursts out laughing uncontrollably; it makes her really human and likeable. You’d follow Fleur around just because she is magically gorgeous but you fall in love with her for her laugh. It’s infectious and I start laughing too.
This woman thinks you need to graduate muggle school to survive! she mocks. ‘Arry, stun her and let’s go. You have to learn the magic of this place. We are all waiting for our hero. She winks again letting me know it’s just a joke, but it sobers me anyway.
“The things I need to learn are not in a non-magical high school. I’m not going.”
“I’m sure you know better.” She steps back but her defeated expression is suspicious. “I suppose you will spend time with Michael and Dresden, learning those things. I’ll take care of you then. You’re living with me and we’re going shopping for clothes with my money.”
The damn woman has a smile on her face. She knows she’s got me!
“No!”
“Either you go to school and get a job that pays you well enough to have your own house and pay for food and things, or you freeload off of me forever. Which way will it be?” She crosses her arms, looking like she’s won.
“I’ll just walk away, Karrin. Disappear. I don’t need you.” I am beginning to get angry; I don’t like being manipulated.
Tsk tsk, my brutish officer. A man’s pride is fragile. You must treat it like his heart. Does no one teach these American women how to take care of men? Even Fleur is mad. She’s hiding it behind her usual ‘her highness’ attitude but I know her well enough to know that she’s trying to head off an explosion.
“I know you don’t need me,” Karrin says. “So then, do you mind taking off your protections on my house?” She takes off the chain attached to the carved-up cross around her neck and holds it out to me. “Guess I won’t be seeing you then.” She looks like she’s swallowed something bitter.
Hmm, maybe she knows a trick or two. She doesn’t like using her wiles, it seems like. Be gentle, Harry. She’s desperate. Never slight a desperate woman, Fleur advises, finally showing her real side; the considerate and kind one.
I try to swallow my anger but it gets stuck in my throat like an aching curse. “This is below you. I haven’t known you for long but even I know that.”
“You’re not even half as angry as I am at myself for doing this, Harry. But if this is the only way to save you…” She does look ill with disgust of herself.
“If I leave, you will be unprotected,” I say, clearly bringing the ugly truth out. She knew I wouldn’t just ‘disappear’ and she’s stomping all over her own pride to look like a woman who needs saving.
“I don’t need you. I can take care of myself.” She glares at me, pissing me off even more.
“You can’t have it both ways. You can’t do both the tough chick schtick and trap me with the if-I-leave-you-will-die routine.”‘Arry, if she’s manipulating you, teach her a lesson. She must sacrifice her pride to do it. You have to be careful around beautiful women; they’re like pliant blades, sharp and subtle. She is desperate to do what she thinks is right for you but don’t let her hide from her vulnerability. Fleur sighs again and gives me a rueful smile. Women, ‘Arry, can’t live with them, can’t curse them all.
And it is that which kills my anger, inside I laugh at her antics but remember her lesson.
“No, Karrin. If you’re going that low you don’t get to hide behind that face of yours. Say that you need me and I will stay and go to your stupid school.”
“I don’t need you. I can protect myself!” she shouts; the loud hustle and bustle outside her office quiets for a second, before the noise rises again with a distinct fake edge to it. People are listening in now.
“Like I said, you can’t have it both ways. Goodbye, Karrin.” I tap my wand on my head, casting the disillusionment charm, and feel its cool liquid magic trail down my face and body.
I watch Karrin’s jaw work as she drops the hand holding out the cross to her side, still gripping it. Her shoulders shudder in anger as her breath shortens. I turn the door knob; she turns her head sharply as the push lock tumbles with a snap. I glance at her once before opening the door, watching bodies hurry away from her door.
“Fine. I need you. Stay, you son of a bitch.”
Mmm, good job, ‘Arry. I glance at Fleur to see her pink tongue wrapped around a lollipop. I am proud of you, mmm. She’s killing me and she knows it. What a sick way to reward me for standing up to Karrin.
Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden
“Dragons?” Bob pinched his bottom lip and drew it out. It was a thinking quirk of his that annoyed me, but I put up with it for the sake of the man’s brilliance.
“Yes,” I sighed, leaning against the cool walls of my basement lab. It was remarkable, really, how well I was taking everything. Perhaps it had to do with becoming immune to danger and shock in the last few weeks, ever since the Outsider arrived in my world.
“I hope you know that this is not merely to get you out of their hair. They are putting you in danger’s way with intent.”
“It wouldn’t be the White Council if they didn’t try to permanently get rid of me at least once every twenty-four hours.” I grinned at the imprisoned spirit and he scoffed once again, becoming pensive.
So here’s the breakdown. I eventually got on everyone’s nerves at the hospital and was asked to leave. The Senior Council, however, couldn’t let me go without some assurance I wouldn’t run off to join the Outsider in the war. I had made it clear I wasn’t going to aid the White Council during my latest trial, so they had due cause for concern. Assholes though they are. Well, they decided to give me a mission that would occupy my time, help the White Council, and had nothing to do with the Outsider.
The mission, immediate death if I didn’t choose to accept it, was to investigate the recent Dragon attacks on mortals. Right, that was a nice little nugget to drop in my lap. When did Dragons start going medieval again? This was news to me, and I am not the sort to be unaware of major events like this. It’s like saying, ‘Oh and Russian panzers have encircled Chicago, go check out what the Ruskies want.’ Wait are panzers Russian or German? Never can keep them straight. Either way, Dragons are big news. That the general magical community would not know they were on the offensive was unbelievable; which made me believe that I had been sent on a wild goose chase.
That is, until I was briefed by the Wardens who had been on the case. All the mortal deaths had been of Wardens. All those Wardens were under Ancient Mai’s direct command. The same Ancient Mai who had argued against assigning me to the investigation. I just mentioned that Dragons attacking mortals was big news; well that is one thing, and it is totally another to say Dragons were moving against the White Council. Hell’s Bells! And Harry you’re being thrown right in the middle of it.
“I think they truly mean to kill you this time, Harry. On the other hand you are becoming more powerful rather quickly,” Bob commented, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“I am?”
“It’s quite clear for anyone who can see. Of course, it requires knowledge of magic a little more subtle and distinguished than you’re used to.” Bob threw his little barb in, but continued soon seeing the death glare I directed at him. “You have gone through several conflicts recently and survived them. They are the sort of things which leave a mark on a wizard. Not to mention you pushed yourself further than you have before, which most definitely breaks the threshold.”
“So what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger?”
“Quite. Dueling Wardens, fighting two Black Knights, and finally surviving and destroying the curse Nicodemus left in you had had quite the affect on you.”
I grunted, not really knowing what to make of Bob’s assessment. It isn’t in his nature to inflate my ego, but then what if he was right?
“What of the Outsider?” Bob asked.
“I’ve already told you. White Council has declared war on him. He beat the crap out of a group of Wardens tailing him.” I started gathering my things in the candlelit lab, half my mind on where to start my investigation and how to test my supposedly greater than before power.
“I am sure it hasn’t escaped your notice that the Knight of the Cross calls your Outsider the Phoenix Graced Occisor Draconigena.”
Bob walked next to me soundlessly, his face etched in a wry grin.
I had totally forgotten.
“No…”
“Yes.” He nodded enjoying the look of horror on my face.
“That would be too cruel, Bob. It can’t be.”
“Too much of a coincidence not to be. Don’t start being stupid now. Well, more than you usually are. The Outsider is hailed by at least one powerful faction as a Phoenix Knight, a dragon slayer from a legendary order. At the very same time you are to investigate said Dragons, when the White Council is waging war against the Outsider is question. Suspiciously volatile situation is it not?” Bob looked very pleased with himself.
I scowled at him. “But how do they all connect?” I asked him and myself.
“Harry, there has never been a Phoenix Graced warrior that Dragons haven’t attempted to wipe out. Even if the White Council wasn’t involved in this disaster in the making, your friend would be in danger. Lucky for him he’s an Outsider.”
“Don’t be so flippant, Bob. He’s just a kid.” I frowned, thinking hard.
“Oh ho! Really?” Bob’s sarcasm irked me but I didn’t give him a response.
“There’s more here. I can feel it. We can’t ignore Ancient Mai’s involvement. This might be just a horrible coincidence.”
“And you’re smack sitting on the big red button. Maybe it’s time you figured out just why Mai’s skin cracks, and her eyes turn red, and how she has managed that excellent shape-changing ability. Hmm?” Bob disappeared from sight, having waved the lure in front of me.
He would’ve stayed around to help more, but I had insulted his pride by snubbing him about Harry. Bob and I didn’t see eye to eye on the Outsider… problem. I was leaning more on Murphy’s side in the matter, and Bob was standing on the side of reason. I couldn’t blame him, I thought I was nuts too.
I sat on the too low chair in my basement, letting the smells of residual potions calm me. As I rocked back and forth on the toddler chair I wondered about all the factions that were popping up around the Outsider. I couldn’t do anything about the White Council, but Harry seemed to be handling himself alright. The hosts of Fallen Angels had backed off for the time being, enjoying the idea that their mortal enemy, a Knight of the Cross, was protecting their source of power. At least they weren’t trouble for now. But Dragons… no sane man tangles with them. What can I say, I pissed off the White Council, fought Fallen Angels, maybe it made sense that I should set my sights on Dragons next.
I am so going to die.
Leaving the lights off in my office, I stood there, ready to leave and haunt some places magical folks gathered at. My answering machine was blinking red and I was debating whether or not to listen to the message. I was expecting it from either of two people, and I didn’t have time for them or answers.
Earlier in the day Murphy had called me over to look at something. It was a crime scene, of course. A local mob hit man and a sweet as daisies young girl with their hearts torn out of their bodies. It was very deep black magic. Given the kind of crowds visiting Chicago, there was a lot of magical muscle in town which could have done it; but not a lot of motive for doing so.
Apparently Murphy had taken Harry the Outsider to the crime scene. He hadn’t been too much help except telling her he could do the same with a little creativity and suggesting she talk to me instead. Good man. I was glad to hear he was on his feet and not trying to poach from my stomping grounds.
Except later I wasn’t too happy with him when I got home and received a message on my answering machine from Gentleman Johnny Marcone, boss of the hit man found with a torn chest cavity. Apparently, my associate Harry, ‘a young man with striking green eyes’ had a ‘disagreement resulting in an altercation’ with his employees and if it wouldn’t be too much trouble could the young man and myself visit Mr. Marcone to discuss ‘matters of mutual interest.’
I wondered if the head gangster of Chicago would believe I didn’t get a chance to listen to my answering machine. Nope, even I don’t think I’m that lucky. What the hell had Harry the Outsider done now? Did he beat up Marcone’s men?
Quickly I checked my priority list against destructive power and sheer vindictiveness. Yup, Dragons trumped White Council, which trumped human gangsters. That is not to say Marcone couldn’t have me flayed, skinned, and otherwise tortured to death, but I might escape him with a possibility of a life after death. The White Council, if it struck their fancy, would nail my spirit to the mortal world like Bob; the Dragons could shred my soul if they wished, or wait for me to travel to the Netherworld and make me their bitch in death.
Choices, choices. Well I had magic, Marcone had guns. I’d kick his ass if he came at me. I had bigger fish to fry.
I walked to the door, looking forward to the night air, when I noticed a sticky on my windowed main entrance. Taking it I stepped out and read it under the street light.
Dresden,
Waited for you. Borrowed your books. Also, cute lady came around looking for help. I am helping her find her husband. Saw a sheet with your service fees on your notice board. She’s paying the standard. I’ve left half the retainer fee in your desk. It’s fair since I told her I was you. Find an owl and send a message with it to me when you get back.
Harry.
I goggled at the note and read it twice. He had been in my home and I hadn’t known about it again! He had stolen a client! And my books!
Why the hell did I keep defending this guy? Wait, he had told her he was me?
I kept my hat low and my staff close to my side. As always I cut quite a sight with my duster, but I stayed to the darker side of sidewalks and in the shadow to be not so noticeable. Usually I would head to McAnally’s for a brew and gossip about the magical world. Not tonight though; I was looking for a much more unsavory crowd.
The Little’s was a pool house with a bar in its basement that catered to college kids trying to be sophisticated. It was a good front. The basement was labyrinthine; only the main bar area and token dance floor for the vanillas. Open doors shaped like cave mouths led to the clientele the place actually was there for. You walked through short tunnels, past small enclosures with snug seating for two or three, into another bar area where the bartender looked like he was half troll and the bar wenches, emphasis on the wenches, were some sort of sprites. Lovely to look at, mostly fatal in bed. Not the bartender, the sprites, I mean.
I parked myself against the rough wall at a table toward the back. Leaving my staff in arm’s reach, I propped my legs on the seat across from me; the message was clear, I wasn’t looking for company. One of the wenches noticed me and made her waif-like way over to me. Her modest bosom was pushed up to its limit with a corset and a lace shirt complemented the ethereal white of her flawless skin. She dazzled me with a smile and asked, “What would you like, sugar?”
I barely resisted the invitation to flirt with her and sent off her silver-haired gorgeousness on its way to bring me a beer. At least Harry stealing my name got me cash, I conceded in my mind.
I recognized a few familiar faces, and they, recognizing mine, stole their glances away muttering to their neighbors. Apparently I was as popular as always. If recent events had become known, and I was sure they had, they probably convinced people to be even more wary of me than before. Still, the night was young. Men and women with fewer scruples hadn’t come to relax and do business yet. I simply had to wait.
Past midnight, when the bar became fuller and louder, I noticed him. There he was, Kevin ‘2 plus 2’, and things started looking up. Kevin had this annoying thing he said every time you asked him if he could have something done: ‘sure, fella, it’s easy as two plus two, except I can make it five if you know what I mean.’ And then he would laugh and slap your back. Kevin ‘2 plus 2’ tried too hard and was going to get killed one day for thinking he was sharper than he really was. The story goes that he is an accountant for the usual beings that go bump in the night, taking care of mortal affairs for them. The kid was twenty-something, with a short buzz haircut that made him look even more like a too cheerful vulture.
The best thing about Kevin ‘2 plus 2’ was that there wasn’t a rumor or operation on this side of the Nevernever that he hadn’t heard about. I raised my hand and snapped my fingers at the sprite from before. She waved back as if we were fast friends and flounced through the crowd with ease.
“Sup, sugar, you interested in something sweeter than that beer?” she asked happily. She looked like she was fifteen at the most and a dream. Not that as a sprite her age really mattered except she couldn’t be working underground if she was too old by sprite years. The old ones kept watch over their homesteads.
“Don’t feel like dying tonight, sweetheart. Even if with you it would be a beautiful one.” So I flirted, so I’m a man.
“Aww, sugar, but I’m a rose sprite, and you are so powerful. You know as long as it is my mouth I can’t hurt you.” She winked at me, one delicate hand already under my shirt. Her mouth?
“You’re one hell of a temptress.” I grabbed her hand, softly taking it out and kissing it lightly, happy to see a real smile come over her face. “But tonight I just need a favor. You see ‘2 plus 2’ there?”
“Who doesn’t?” She was clearly disappointed. One very eager part of me told me off for being an idiot and not taking the girl up on her offer.
“I am guessing you know his favorite?”
“He can’t afford it.” She snorted as she fixed her shirt a little, leaving her hand in mine.
“Well give him one from me, and let him know I’d like to talk to him.”
“You’re breaking my heart, sugar. You’re picking him over me?”
“Business before pleasure, sweetheart. No sane man would choose ‘2 plus 2’ for anything if he had to.”
“I’ll do you your favor for a kiss at the end of the night. Alright, tall, dark, and handsome?” She quirked a smile you couldn’t say no to.
“Rose sprite?”
“Born and raised.”
“It’ll be a pleasure.”
The deal was struck. Sprites were mostly harmless, not very devious. Of course it’s all relative; to me anything that is not my fairy godmother isn’t devious. Story for another time. Rose sprites especially were the nicest of their kind, the only ones humans were actually capable of having children with.
I had to hand it to the sprite, she was discreet; when ‘2 plus 2’ craned his neck back I nodded to him. I saw him arch an eyebrow and leap off the stool he was on with preternatural alacrity, which made me wonder yet again what he was exactly. It was one of those questions everyone seemed to ask and no one knew. He looked human so he was probably half-something.
“Well, well, well, fella. If it isn’t the man of the hour.”
“Dramatic as always, Kevin.” I took my feet off the chair and kicked it out as a pleasant manly invitation to sit down.
Kevin sat, putting his drink on the table and leaning on it eagerly. He took a deep gulp and his Adam’s apple bobbing in his too thin neck creeped me out. He gave me a knowing look, raised the glass as if to my health, and knocked some more back. I never really tried to follow his non verbal messages, they just betrayed how pathetic he was.
“I’ve bet on you, you know. No, that ain’t right, fella. I bet on you till this morning. Then I got the big news and boy isn’t it great to be on the inside. If you know what I mean.”
“I have no idea what you mean, 2 plus 2. Care to explain?” Not exactly the way I had planned the conversation to go, but it’s never smart to stop a gossip from talking when you want information from him. Sooner or later he’ll get to something that interests me.
“Harry Dresden, scourge of the Wardens.” He cackled and drew some looks. I pushed the brim of my hat down more to avoid recognition. “Heard Wardens were finally gonna make good on your Doom of Damocles. Put money on you then to make it, and you did. That’s what I call reliable, fella. Then heard about an Outsider. Ooooh!” Kevin ‘2 plus 2’ mock shuddered. I felt like flooring him for being an idiot. “Made my mistake there, fella, bet against you. Figured the Outsider woulda chewed you out three ways to Thursday. Lost money when he left you alone. But then, fella, the big boys arrived, didn’t they?” He leaned over and whispered conspiratorially “The Black Denarians. I bet on you that time. You took on an Outsider you could take on a Fallen Angel.”
“You are very well informed.” I wasn’t pleased, not the least because he had been making money off of me.
“Of course I am. But, fella, had to change my bet on you this morning. Sad to say, but I think you’re done for. Wasn’t smart of you to get involved with a Phoenix Graced. Some people take offense to that.” He kicked back giving me his knowing look again.
On instinct I looked around me, most faces were turned away. The place was still loud, and people were still having a good time but not one person was looking at us. No chair was turned just so that we were in their peripheral vision. Huh? I wondered why.
“What do you know, 2-plus-2?”
“No, fella, question is. What do you know?” The pleased expression on his face made me grimace. I moved faster than he knew I could and had him by the scruff of his neck.
“I’ll ask again, nicely. What do you know?”
“Do you know who I work for? You’re dead, you’re dead. Let me go!” he screamed. I looked from under the brim of my hat and no one turned around to see what the yelling was about. In fact it seemed that their conversation, laughter, and music got a little louder.
“Listen you little pissant. I don’t care who you work for. You’re not even close to the list of things I am worried about. Tell me what you’re talking about.” I pulled him bodily over the table and shoved him in the chair between me and the wall. He was locked in. Sometimes it really is good to be big and tall.
“Dragons, you wrote your own death sentence when you started hangin’ out with a Phoenix Graced.” He rubbed his neck and reached for his drink to sooth his bruised throat.
“Do you ever get tired of being so dramatic?” I put him down but inside I was cheering at finding out what I was looking for without even asking about them in specific. “Keep talking.”
“We want you to tell us where the Outsider is. We plan to kill you if you don’t. I really hope you say no, fella.” He spat at me and I elbowed him in the cramped space.
“Who is ‘we’? You’re working for a Dragon then?”
“No shit Sherlock.” That earned him another elbow. This time his nose bled and I took his drink away.
“Keep talking, and don’t try to threaten me. My own cat is scarier than you and your mother combined.” It’s true, Mister would’ve eaten 2-plus-2 and gone for seconds.
“That’s it. I work for Yuvax. She wants to kill the Phoenix Graced before he comes for any of them. You’re buddy buddy with the freak, so tell us or die.” He sounded blocked up, as if someone had broken his nose. Gee. I elbowed him again. “Fug’ you, you ba’tard.” He didn’t sound too good.
“Fine, I am not telling you. Frankly I don’t know. But that’s never the point with people like you. So the way I figure it, now someone else is going to come and kill me for not cooperating with you, right?”
“You bet your -”
“Good. Which means if you don’t go tell on me, no one is going to attack me. With me so far?” I didn’t wait for him to answer as his eyes went wide in realization. “Well, going to kill you now.” I put my hand on his chest, rolled back my eyes in my head and started muttering nonsense.
“No, no, pleath! I’ll pay you. Don’t have to do this. I swear I won’t thay anything!”
“Tell me why Wardens are being killed by Dragons and I’ll think about letting you go.” I rolled my eyes back. Stupid 2-plus-2 always fell for that trick. As if I would cast a spell on someone at a point blank range. Does he think I want to die alongside him?
“That’s a pamily appair.”
“A what?”
“A phamilee appair!” he shouted, scared. I couldn’t understand him.
“What the hell are you saying? If you hadn’t broken your nose I could still understand you, fella.” I mocked his favorite thing to call me and handed him some napkins. He glared at me from watery eyes. I gave him some time to stop up the bleeding in his nose; after all, I needed him coherent.
“It’s a family affair,” he finally managed to say.
“Killing Wardens is a family affair?” I was a little surprised, though it wasn’t too unreasonable that someone decided to make that their family’s duty. They did walk over a lot of people.
“Uuvax’s daughter started it. She’s been sending her Wardens to attack Uuvax’s retainers. Let me go now,” he begged, trying to step over the table to get away from me. I grabbed his shoulder and shoved him back in place.
“Who is Uuvax and how can her daughter send Wardens? They work for the White Council.”
“You fucking idiot. Mai is Uuvax’s daughter. Like I said, it’s a family affair. Mai’s been cleaning up, trying to force Uuvax back to the Nevernever. She’s shut down even the clean businesses. Dresden, I gotta go!” He tried to get away from me again, which didn’t happen. My reactions were a little slowed because of the bombshell he had dropped on me. I’d always suspected Mai had a little dragon in her but knowing it was something else.
“Who is her father?”
“Was, fella, some wizard long ago Uuvax raped. What does it matter? Look you gotta let me go.”
“No, I need you as a witness.” I wasn’t paying attention again, too lost in my thoughts. It was because of this that I heard a loud thud but didn’t know where it came from.
I looked up and around me; the rest of the crowd had given us a wide berth, and no one was near us who could have fallen down to make that noise. I was always wary of invisible demons and the kind so I whispered to 2-plus-2 if he had seen anything.
That was when I noticed a shaft jutting out of his chest as long as my arm.
Jerking away from him, I saw the blood pooling on his shirt and his wide-eyed fear. He was dying and mouthing something but no sound was coming out. Someone had shot a bolt from a crossbow in him. While I was sitting next to him! Shit!
I jumped away, grabbing my staff and staring at the backs of the loud group, none of whom seemed to notice what was going on. However, as if on cue, they parted just enough to let a woman through and then closed the space between them. She was blond and had her hair tied back in two long braids, wore a camel brown mantle over a tunic of the same color and loose pants ending in hard boots with wicked points. She also had a sword as tall as her and wider than my head. She carried it on her back as she stomped over to me. She could have been attractive if she didn’t look so militant. I kept my left hand in my pocked wrapped around my revolver.
“Peace, wizard. We have killed the one threatening you. My Lord Ferrovax sends his greetings.” She gave a short bow not taking her eyes off of me, then took her sword and plunged it into the rock floor like it was butter. She leaned on it a little.
“Hi! Next time you kill someone five inches from me send a memo so I can be somewhere else. Okay?” I was a little shaken up.
“My apologies. You were not in danger, I am not without skill. Please sit.”
“I prefer to stand.” My heart was still racing; 2-plus-2 was my only lead to Mai causing trouble with Dragons, and he was pinned to a rock wall. I looked the strong woman across from me up and down. She was dangerous and I didn’t like how easily she wielded that extra-Big Momma-sized broad sword.
She too was measuring me up. Luckily I was taller, but her cold brown eyes still made me feel small. I have never seen ice the color brown but it was in her eyes.
“My Lord Ferrovax has a question for you.” Her voice was cool and collected like her eyes.
“Who is Ferrovax? Wait, not the Ferrovax?” I blurted.
“The same.”
Shit! She worked for the Prince of Dragons, their liege lord. One of the most powerful beings this side or that side of the Nevernever.
“He wishes to know if it’s true that the Outsider, The Phoenix Graced, The Green Eyed Demon of the Outer Gates, The One Whose Eyes Hold Death and Madness, The Speaker of the Fallen Tongue, truly defeat the Waking Phoenix Nain?”
“Uh… you know, his name is Harry. You don’t have to call him by titles.” I rubbed the back of my neck, embarrassed for her. She sounded like a love-struck fan. You’d think one title would be enough.
“Did he?” she bit out.
“From what I know, yes. I wasn’t there, but I did hear the same thing.”
“My Lord Ferrovax sends his congratulations and extends his open invitation to The Outsider, The Phoenix Graced, The Green Eyed - ”
“Harry, please, just call him Harry. I get it.”
“His invitation to the eternal realm.” She glared at me, breaking a second time from her cool demeanor. “He also sends him his warning that Uuvax might seek him out to kill him, and pardons him in advance if he chooses to kill her in defense of himself. Lastly he sends the mantle of his house. He will be recognized in our worlds as one whom Lord Ferrovax holds in honor. You will give him this.” From somewhere on her she drew a package folded in cloth and passed it to me reverently.
“Why are you giving this to me?”
“You are Harry the Outsider’s retainer, are you not? It was my duty to seek his retainer. It is only proper this way. If at any time he wishes to accept Lord Ferrovax’s invitation to the eternal realm, you may contact me.”
“I am not his retainer!” I growled.
“I do not care what you think you are. You are what you are. Now I will go.” She pulled her sword out of the damned rock like it was nothing and put it over back.
“Wait. Why are Dragons attacking the White Council? We have had peace for centuries.”
“There is no conflict between the White Council and Dragons, wizard. It is a private concern. Do not involve yourself further. I am Torin, remember me when the Outsider wishes to meet my master. Fare well.” She turned and left, I followed in her wake not wanting to be alone with a dying body. The crowd kept faith by ignoring us as we both disappeared. She went down a different tunnel and I retraced my steps up.
This was much more than I had bargained for. Bob was right. He was always right. Harry was in the middle of this and he didn’t even know. The White Council was in the middle of it because of Mai. There was no way I could walk up to them and accuse one of the Senior Council of using Wardens for a private war.
Now all I had to do was keep avoiding Johnny Marcone, research black magic that could pull out hearts from a distance for Murphy, oh and deliver Harry the Outsider his presents.
Some days…
“Hey! Mr. Mysterious, you forgot my kiss!” The sprite slammed through the door to The Little’s. I was already down the street but I could see her cheeks were infused with color from running through the tunnels. Her corset worked enchantingly on her small breasts as they bounced temptingly while she hopped in place and waved me over.
“I’ll be back!” Hey, I always wanted my Arnold Swarznegger moment.
Some days… are not so bad after all.