Toggle paper mode ----



“Snape, Severus.”

The dark-haired boy looked up, eyes wide but stood with his head held high as he walked over to the low stool. He sat down tentatively, and felt rather than saw the teacher-woman place the sorting hat onto his head. It was big and slipped down over his eyes, hiding them from the eager faces staring curiously at him. For that, he was grateful.

 Hmm, what shall I do with you then, little boy? A reedy voice inside his mind whispered menacingly. You could go anywhere really. Best to take a deep look, I think.

 Put me with Lily, Severus thought desperately. Just let me be with Lily please! I want to be with Lily!

No, I need a deeper look, the voice said, and suddenly Severus was pulled back into a memory.

* * * * *

Two small girls stand in a park facing each other. One has fiery red, tousled hair and wide, emerald-green eyes, the other is mousier, everything about her seems slightly muted.

They are arguing, although the boy hidden in the bushes is too far away to hear what’s going on. The redhead’s hands are moving wildly, and her face is twisted into a sad frown, while the mousy girl wears a cruel sneer. The boy sneaks closer, to behind a tree.

“You’re a freak, Lily!” The mousy girl screams. “I know what you did to him! I know it was you! You hurt him!” Now that the boy is closer, he can see that tears stream down both girls’ faces.

“He fell off the swings, ‘Tuney.” The redhead sobs. “I didn’t do anything, he just fell over!”

“You just don’t want me to have any friends! I hate you! You don’t want me to have any friends, do you?”

“Leave her alone!” The boy surprises himself by stepping out protectively in front of the redhead. “Leave Lily alone, Petunia. If she says she didn’t hurt him, she didn’t hurt him.”

“Oh, that’s what you say! You’re a freak, just like her!” Petunia spits at the ground, near the boy’s feet. “You know what, Lily?” She pushes past the boy, shunting him to the ground. “You’re going to end up all alone, because all you do is hurt people! And you know what? When you do, I’ll be laughing at you with my husband. I hope you die. You’re no sister of mine.” Petunia stalks off, to where the boy doesn’t know, or care, as long as it’s far away from him and Lily.

“Shush, Lily, it’s alright.” The boy puts his arms gently around Lily, cradling her head to his chest and rubbing her back soothingly. “She didn’t mean it, she’s just upset. You know she loves you. Everything will be back to normal soon, you’ll see. It’ll all be fine.”

“I hope so,” the girl is still sobbing as she pulls away from him to speak, hands fiercely wiping at the tears that course down her cheeks. “Thanks for sticking up for me, Sev. I needed it.” She presses a chaste kiss to his cheek, and the memory fades out to black.

* * * * *

“Listen son, I need to tell you somethin’ about your Mum.” An older man with a long, hooked nose and dark hair sat next to a small boy with similar features. “She’s gone a bit… mad, like.”

“Mad?” The boy asked slowly. “Mum’s not crazy.”

“Listen, Sev…”

“Severus.” Severus snaps.

“She thinks she can do magic. I found her diary. She’s imagined a whole world for herself.” The man runs a hand through his greasy black hair in anguish.

“She can do magic.” Severus insists.

“Listen, Sev, it’s…” The man begins.

“Severus.” The boy snaps once more.

“I know it’s hard for you, you’re only young. But she can’t do magic. She’s lying to you.” The man reaches a hand towards his son, who flinches back from him.

“She can do magic. So can I.” Severus’s eyes narrow. “I’m not lying.”

“Don’t be silly, Sev.” Once more the endearment slips from the man’s tongue, and the boy scowls.

“It’s Severus. And I’m not the one being silly, Dad.” He says, eyes narrowing further, so they are almost slits now.

“Oh, so now I’m silly, am I?” The man raises his eyebrows in obvious disbelief.

“Of course you are. Think about it. Haven’t you ever broken something, then came home to find it fixed? Jobs done quicker than they could have been? If you’d ever been to a parents meeting, you’d know about some of the things I’ve done.” Severus is adamant, his arms folded across his chest.

“Sev, son…”

“It’s Severus. And look.”

* * * * *

Severus blinked, he was back in the Great Hall, with the hat still on his head, unwilling to give him a House.

 Hmm, loyalty. That’s a Hufflepuff trait. It whispered snidely. But are you really a Hufflepuff? Hmm?

Please, Severus has barely realised that he’s begging again, but doesn’t care. Please, I just want to be with Lily. Just let me be with Lily.

Sure you don’t want to follow in Daddy’s footsteps? You wanted to believe him… The hat taunted cruelly.

 No! Severus protested. I don’t want to be like him! I want to be different! I don’t want to hurt people like he does!

I need to look further was all the hat said.

* * * * *

Flashes of memory now, they come quickly and at random, jumping through different ages, times and places. The people don’t change as much as one would expect, but Severus had never been a child to endear others towards himself.

* * * * *

“Severus, here, have these. Don’t tell your father. Use my wand, but be quiet!” His mother entering his room in the dark with a candle, her wand and an old, worn spell-book. Severus nodded, and took the wand and book from her.

“Thank you, Momma.” He says automatically, eyes and mind already focused on the book in his hands. His centre of being has shifted for that moment. Instead of being an ordinary Muggle, in the boring, predictable Muggle world, he is a Wizard in a world full of adventures.

* * * * *

Severus sits on a lone chair in a corridor at his school. He’s in trouble. He has to be in trouble. He’s the only one whose parents had to come in to talk to the teacher. He doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. His mind races back through the past couple of weeks.

He’d done all of his homework, arrived to school on time each day. He’d answered questions in class, done all of his book work. He’d even handed in the school library books early, not that they were very interesting.

The door is opening, the teacher beckons him inside. He sits on a low chair in between his mother and his father, looking up at them with wide eyes.

“Severus, I and your parents have had a nice little chat, and we think that in September you shouldn’t come back here, that you should go to the big school a year early. How does that sound to you?” The teacher says, a kindly smile on her face.

“Have I done something wrong?” He asks nervously. “I can be better…”

“No son,” His father says. “You’ve done me proud. It’s cause you’re smart, boy.” His mother smiles, and he knows everything is going to be okay.

* * * * *

“Come here, son,” His father says. They’re at home now, and the sallow man is bent over a book on the dining room table. “Come here, you’re better at this than me.” Severus obediently moves to see the book.

“Yes, dad?” He asks nicely, just like his mother taught him.

“What’s that one, there? How big is it, I mean?” He asks. “I can’t figure it out.

“It’s that one times itself add that one times it self, and then square-rooted.” Severus says, quickly explaining himself at his father’s sceptical look. “Pythagoras’s theorem. I read about it ages ago. Do you want me to find out the book?”

“No son. Just tell me about it.”

* * * * *

 Smart enough for Ravenclaw, said the hat. But is that all you are?

 I don’t want to be in Ravenclaw! Severus thought hopelessly. I want to be with Lily! Please, I just want to be with Lily in Gryffindor. I’m brave, I can be brave, look!

This time it was Severus that pushed them into a memory.

 Impressive, was the last thing he heard the hat say.

* * * * *

“Get away from me!” His mother screams. “Get away! It’s your fault, it’s all your fault!” Severus reaches a hand out to her, but her magic is surfacing. Lightning bolts stream from her out turned palms.

“Mom,” he says soothingly. “Mom, it’s me, it’s-” Severus dodges a green spark as she interrupts him.

“No!” She’s crying now, sobbing hard. “Tobias, no! Please no! Don’t hurt me. Merlin, don’t hurt me, please!” Severus darts forward again, arms desperately reaching out.

“Mom, it’s okay. It’s Severus! I’m not him.” Another lightening flash erupts from her hand, and he drops to the floor to avoid it, crawling towards her with dogged determination.

“Don’t touch me! No! You won’t touch me!” Her voice is angry now, almost menacing. Severus redoubles his efforts. He reaches her feet after a few moments, and sits up next to her, back against the wall. He wraps his arms around her, and hugs him to herself.

“It’s okay Mom, it’s okay. I’m here now, you’re safe.” Eileen stops screaming and just sobs into her son’s neck.

* * * * *

An older man with a long, hooked nose and dark hair stood over a woman with eyes as black as night. Tears streamed across her face, and she held her hands, palm out, in front of her.

“Tobias, please!” She sobbed. “Please, I’m sorry! I won’t do it again, I swear!”

“Aye,” said the man as he advanced towards her. “And that’s what you said last time too. Wouldn’t be right if I let you get away with it now, would it?”

“Please!” The woman begged. “Not now! Not here! Not in front of Severus! Please, Tobias! Have some care for your child!”

“He needs to learn too.” Tobias said. “But his lesson will be to see yours, Eileen!” Tobias raised his hand, but lowered it again as a small figure stood in front of him.

“Daddy, no!” A younger Severus stood between Tobias and Eileen. His legs shook, and tears coursed down his face, but there he stood, Eileen’s sole protector.

“Severus, it’s okay darling. Mummy will be fine, just go play sweetie.” Eileen crouched down in front of him, taking hold of his jaw and turning his head to face hers. “Go play, Sev, please.” Severus shook his head obstinately.

“No,” He pouted, shaking free of his mother whilst giving his father a glare. “No,” he said again, this time more firmly.

“Move, boy.” Tobias growled. “Don’t make me…”

“Make you what?” Severus cried out, voice impassioned. “Make you hit her? Huh. Tell me something new.” Tobias narrowed his eyes at the boy in front of him who refused to cower, who continued to insolently glare at his father. Tobias raised a hand. Severus raised an eyebrow. Tobias twitched at the sight of the raised eyebrow. It was mocking him, taunting him. It was daring him.

Tobias cracked first, curling his hand into a fist and, with an inarticulate roar brought it down to hit his son’s face. Severus crumpled under the force of the blow, hands shooting upwards to touch the bloody mess that had been his hawkish nose. He looked up at his father unbelievingly.

“Severus, just go!” His mother pleaded. “I’ll be fine, just go!” Severus scrambled to his feet again, and the memory faded out to black.

* * * * *

 Hmm, bravery? I’m not so sure. The hat mused.

 I can be brave! Severus screamed mentally. I’ll be brave for Lily! I just want to be with Lily!

But you’re not just brave, are you? The hat said in a taunting sort of voice. Brace yourself, Mr. Snape, I have an idea. What’s the one word you’ve repeated to me? Shall I tell you? The word is want, boy. You want to be with Lily. You want to be different from your father. You want to prove yourself to your mother. You want to help people. You want to change the world… I think I know exactly where you’ll fit in… SLYTHERIN!

Severus shakily stood as the Professor behind him removed the hat, legs moving automatically to the cheering table. A tall, blonde boy moves over for him, he sits without thinking. He isn’t with Lily. His world is over.