Testing Defenses

Disclaimer: Not my characters, no money being made, etc., etc. 

Chapter 2: Luna's Visit

The lack of drama, either inside the house or outside, led Harry to assume that Hermione had made a clean getaway.  

As he made his way down to the kitchen and started breakfast, Harry replayed Hermione's visit in his head.  Her actions had been so out of character, and yet, given the Infirmary epiphany she described, perhaps not.  And then there were her breasts, and their embrace, and the kiss…just how far would they have gone had his uncle not interrupted them?  How far would he have wanted them to go?  And should he feel guilty about thinking that the whole scene was bloody brilliant?

Harry had plenty of time to consider those questions, as his Aunt had him spend the entire day working in the garden. Unfortunately, he didn't reach any answers. He might have blamed this on an anticipated liberation, but only a small portion of his brain was tied up wondering if Hermione's proof of the ward breaching would satisfy Dumbledore…Harry had grown accustomed to the Headmaster's single-mindedness when it came to his so-called safety.

Lunch consisted of a glass of tap water and the two heels of a stale loaf of bread. Dinner was more of the same, which was why Harry didn't feel bad at all that he had secretly stuck one of Hermione's muggle-repelling Post-it notes onto the refrigerator door while he was preparing dinner.

"What do you think's so funny, freak?" his uncle demanded, as he pushed Harry up the stairs after he had done the dishes.

"Oh, nothing," Harry replied slyly, thinking that Dudley was going to be dieting whether he realized it or not.

"Can I use the loo before I turn in?" Harry asked.

Vernon scowled. "Be quick about it, boy."

Harry was indeed quick about it, only taking the time necessary to stick another Post-it on top of the toilet seat. He palmed a third Post-it and pressed it against the handle of his bedroom door as he past by it.  A wide grin broke out on Harry's face when his Uncle reached down for the door handle, only to be hit by the full effect of the muggle repellent…Vernon started to mutter about drill orders and walked away from the still-opened door.  Harry needed to bite the inside of his cheeks as he closed the door, then dove for his bed (where he could laugh loudly into his pillow).   

After a while, Harry decided that it would be good form for Hermione to find him studying (if and when she were to arrive for another visit). He therefore spent the evening reviewing the Advanced Transfiguration text that she had semi-intentionally left behind. When it was half ten and he found himself doing more head nodding than reading, Harry gave up on the hope that he'd have company, threw on a pair of pajama bottoms, and went to bed. He left the window open just in case.

A few hours later, the sight of a disembodied head caught Harry Potter by surprise.

"Shhhsh, Harry," the head said, as Harry was pulled into an invisible embrace. "It's just a bad dream…everything's going to be alright."

"Luna?" the young wizard asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Testing defenses," the Ravenclaw replied.

"Where's the rest of you?" Harry asked, as he reached for his glasses from the nightstand.

"Oh, sorry," Luna replied. She pulled Harry's invisibility cloak off and draped it over his desk chair. When Harry put his glasses on and turned back towards her he swallowed hard…even in the low light he could tell that the nightgown Luna was wearing was almost as invisible as his cloak.

"But…aren't you supposed to be hunting snorkacks in Sweden with your father?"

Luna smiled. "We're not leaving until next week…right after this month's Quibbler goes to press."

"Oh," said Harry. He turned his desk lamp on, and asked, "So, it's great to see you, but…why?"

"Hermione stopped by the newspaper's office today and asked me to spend the night with you."

"She….she did?" asked Harry.

Luna nodded solemnly. "She tried to pass it off as an opportunity to monitor nargle levels in Metropolitan London, but it was obvious that she wanted you to have a pair of dreamcatchers poking into your back while you slept tonight."

"Dreamcatchers?"

"Yeah, dreamcatchers…you know...breasts…bosoms…mammaries…titties..."

"I get the idea, Luna."

"Good," the young witch replied. "She also wanted pictures of you and me with a newspaper, for some reason. Did you know that Hermione was that kinky, Harry?"

"Pictures? Kinky?”

"Yes, it was strange…I told her that as far as I was concerned that she could watch in person, and reminded her that four dreamcatchers always work better than two, but then she went on with this cock and bull story about needing to prove that your protective wards weren't all that safe…you really should help your best friend accept her voyeuristic needs, Harry, even if they are a little pervy."

"Erm, Luna….are you sure that she didn't want the picture just to prove to Dumbledore that you were here?"

"Well, of course that was what she said, but when a girl asks another girl to sleep with her shag-buddy, you just have to look past appearances, right?"

Harry shut his eyes tightly as he tried to process the situation. After a moment, he opened his eyes, and asked, "Luna, Hermione's not my shag-buddy…and did she happen to give you a letter, or something?"

"Oh, yes, she did," Luna replied brightly, as she leaned down to retrieve an envelope from her bag.

oooo0000ooooo

Dear Harry,

As you've probably guessed, my successful visit wasn't enough to sway Dumbledore's opinion about your safety. He claimed that Death Eater's don't use cars and scooters to travel about England, and that it wasn't a fair test because I'm muggle-born. Finally, he said it was a moot point, because you and your Uncle wouldn't be out and about any time soon for Death Eaters to follow like I did. How nice.

Dumbledore threatened to tell my parents and take away my prefects badge if I tried to visit you again on Privet Drive. Not that I care about that badge any more, particularly if it means keeping you safe…but now I'm pretty sure that I've got an Order member trailing me, so I doubt that I'd be able to visit anyway.

Harry, you really need to keep eating, and get some quality nights of sleep. And I need to prove to Dumbledore that you're not safe enough at your Aunt and Uncle's. So, as much as I wish that I could deliver this letter myself, I've asked Luna for her help. Since she's a pureblood witch, Dumbledore's muggle-born excuse won't hold water if she can sneak into your bedroom.

Forgive me, Harry, but I told her about your nightmares, and that it seemed to help when I lay in bed with you and held you close. If she decides to do the same…well, would it be wrong for me to say that I'll be just a little jealous? I keep thinking about you and me alone in a boat, with sunscreen instead of salve, and the need for you to rub much more than just my scar.

Love,

Hermione

oooo0000ooooo

Harry went through the letter twice, just to make sure he read what he thought he had read. By the time he lifted his eyes from the page Luna had erected a telephone booth-sized canvas tent in the middle of his bedroom.

"What's that, Luna?"

"Magical Port-a-loo," the young witch replied. "Hermione mentioned something about your aim being off with the chamber pot."

"She did, did she?"

Luna nodded hard enough for her radish earrings to sway back and forth. "I said that I'd be happy to help point your wand, but she didn't like that idea so much."

"I see….where did you get it?"

"Oh, Daddy and I were planning on taking it with us on our expedition, but then I read that the urine of a virginal witch is an effective perimeter defense against nocturnal Greezie attacks, so instead of using the loo I'll be marking our camp boundaries."

"Really?"

Luna looked at Harry strangely. "You aren't doubting me, are you Harry?"

The young wizard smiled, and let out a chuckle. "Never, Luna."

"Good," she replied, as she pulled the door flap away from the tent. "There's also a mini cool box inside with some food and drink," Luna added. "It's right next to the hot tub, if you wanted to snack and soak at the same time."

"Hot tub?"

"So they claimed," Luna replied. "Although it looks more like a lukewarm tub to me…want to join me in testing the waters?"

"Erm, no thanks, Luna."

"Poo…so I suppose, then, we should take a few candids for Hermione?"

"Candids?" asked Harry. "Oh, you mean photos of you and me and today's paper?"

Luna nodded as she set up the magical camera.

"Sit back, Harry," she said. "I can't see your crotch from this angle."

Harry insisted that such a view wasn't necessary, and made sure to hold the newspaper in front of Luna's diaphanous nightgown. The resulting photographs showed the young witch's disappointment quite clearly.

"Right, then," said Luna, as she pushed a hand down onto Harry's bed. "Well...your mattress is just as lumpy as Hermione said it would be."

"It's Dudley's old one," Harry explained. "Seen more than its share of weight over the years...and Merlin knows what else."

Luna giggled as she reached into her bag and retrieved a small blue ball. "Well, it's a good thing I've got a replacement, then...up you go, Harry."

When the young wizard got up off the bed, Luna tossed the ball onto the bed. As soon as it hit the surface it burst into a thick liquid that spread out in all directions and quickly solidified.

"Shall we give it a test, then?" asked Luna, as she pulled her friend down.

When Harry hit the bed he was amazed to discover that he was now lying on silk sheets spread over a new mattress with just the right give to it.

"This is amazing," he said. "Although...they seem a little cold to the touch."

"Great," exclaimed Luna, as she climbed into bed with Harry. "With the body heat we'll be sharing the temperature should be just right."

"Really?"

"Oh course, Harry," Luna replied, as she snuggled up to Harry and pulled him into a hug. "Time for 'Left' and 'Right' to go to work."

"Left and Right?"

"Would you rather name them?" Luna asked, as she brushed her thinly-covered nipples back and forth across Harry's bare back.

"Erm, no…'Left' and 'Right' are fine," Harry stammered. "Luna, you don't need to do this, really."

"I know," replied the young witch, as she spooned up behind Harry and lifted the covers over the both of them.

Harry then felt a hand that wasn't his grab his bits.

"Luna?”

“Yes, Harry,”

“Why are you groping me?”

“Because I left my stuffed hippogriff at home.”

Harry considered his situation, then gave a mental shrug.

“Good enough for me.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Luna replied.

Harry waited a few heartbeats to see if Luna had any more surprises hidden up her nightgown, but she seem quite content to leave things where they stood.

After a minute, Harry said, “Luna?”

“Yes, Harry?”

“Thanks for everything."

"You're quite welcome."

Harry tried to fall back asleep, but had never tried to accomplish that task with a witch holding him that way.  So after a while, Harry thought to ask the young witch how she managed to find him.

"Oh, that was easy," Luna replied. "When Hermione visited me at Daddy's office in Diagon Alley, she asked him to place a tracking charm on one of our delivery owls. Then we sent it out with a complementary back issue of the Quibbler."

"That worked?" asked Harry. "Wow, I figured Dumbledore was keeping owls away from me this summer."

"I'm sure he is," replied Luna. "That's why I suggested that we send the trial subscription to your cousin."

Harry paused for a moment before breaking out into a grin. "You belong in Ravenclaw, you know."

"So the Sorting Hat said," Luna replied.

"Funny thing, though…I didn't hear two words about a visiting owl today."

"That's because he hasn't made the delivery yet."

"How's that?"

"I don't know…there might be a separate ward beside the one that's diverting your mail. The owl that I tracked is sitting in a tree across the street…probably waiting for your cousin to leave the house."

"Oh…so how did you follow the owl?"

"Patsy gave me a ride."

"Patsy?"

"Patsy...the thestral that I rode on to the Ministry," Luna explained. "Followed me home from Hogwarts…I think she's adopted me."

"Really?" asked Harry. "That's great…so is Patsy outside then?"

"She's nearby," Luna replied. "Once she dropped me off on your window ledge she doubled back down the street to munch on some road kill."

Harry's thoughts juggled between the image of an invisible carrion-eating beast, and Luna's right hand. Being a teen-aged boy with normal hormone levels, the latter did a better job of holding Harry's attention.

"So Luna, I don't want to sound like I don't appreciate what you're doing, but I think you and I could become close friends, and I wouldn't want to jeopardize that opportunity by leading you on, or taking advantage of the situa…."

"Sshhhh, Harry," Luna cooed, as she squeezed her handful. "The only thing wrong with this situation is that you're not asleep yet…close your eyes, and if you want we can talk in the morning, okay?"

Feeling more safe and secure than sexually stimulated, Harry let out a yawn, nodded, and closed his eyes.

"Good night, Luna."

"Good night, Harry."

When Harry woke up after a refreshing night of sleep, he quickly realized that he was no longer facing the wall, and that he was alone and cold in bed. The sound of laughter and splashing water gave him a good idea on where that warmth had gone. Harry swung his legs off the bed and covered the short distance to the tent with a few steps. He grabbed the tent flap, and cracked it open just enough to whisper into it.

"Luna?"

"Good morning, Harry," the young witch called out.

"What are you doing?"

"Testing the waters," replied Luna. "Turns out it really is a hot tub…come on in."

"No that's alright…"

"Really, Harry, it's alright…I'm decent."

"Erm…okay, just a moment," Harry replied, as he stepped away from the tent and made use of his chamber pot. After washing up and checking his attire, Harry stepped inside the Port-a-loo.

The magical tent had proportions that seemed right given its small size in real space…it was a single room, about ten feet square. Dim candle light was casting shadows over the room, a small waterfall was pouring water into an oversized tub, and Left and Right were bouncing freely on the frothy water's surface.

"Luna?" asked Harry, averting his eyes.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I thought you said that you were decent."

"Are you accusing me of being indecent?"

"Erm, no, it's just that…you aren't wearing any clothes, and…"

"I most certainly am," Luna replied. And before Harry could argue the point she stood up and twirled in place, giving Harry a front and back view of her black thong.

"Erm, okay, so I believe you…you can sit down, Luna."

"Good," Luna replied, as she sank back into the water. "Left and Right were getting cold."

"Yeah, I could see that," Harry muttered.

"What, Harry?"

"Nothing, Luna," Harry said quickly.

"Oh…so are you going to join me?"

"Erm, no..that's alright.."

"Because I didn't want to say anything, but you are sporting a rather manly, musky scent…so chock full of pheromones, that I don't know how much longer I'll be able to resist playing with Center unless you bathe."

"Center?" asked Harry.

"Sure," Luna replied sweetly. "You know, there's Left, there's Right, and farther down there's Center."

By the time Harry realized what Luna was intimating, he also realized that his lower head was two steps ahead of his upper head (and showing that fact). He panicked and jumped into the water. Luna's reaction was to giggle and reach down towards the waistline of Harry's pajama bottoms.

"You know, Harry, it's easier to wash your clothes when you're not wearing them."

"Erm, thanks for the advice," Harry replied, as he pulled his knees up to protect his pants.

"Erm, Luna…"

"Sshhh, relax, Harry," the young witch replied, as she reached for a bar of soap.  “It's not like my hand and your Center haven't met before…stay still, and he'll be clean no time.”

“What?”

“Unless, of course, you want me to take my time rubbing your Center.”

"Luna?" asked Harry, as he placed a protective arm over his lap. "I don't want to sound unappreciative, because your visit has been brilliant, and I slept really well last night, but…"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Well, when I woke up this morning, it looked like I might have been holding you, rather than the other way around, and I just wanted to make sure that I didn't touch you anyplace that I shouldn't have."

"Oh, Harry," Luna replied with a laugh. "You were a perfect gentleman last night.  Your hand was too attached to Left and Right to even think of heading south…and you didn't start to poke me until your prostate started to complain to your bladder."

"What? Oh….sorry about that…it isn't something I can control in the morning...it wasn't because of you."

Luna frowned. "Are you saying that I'm not attractive, Harry?"

"Merlin, no," Harry replied.

“Good,” Luna replied. “Because I was thinking that you could use another friend with benefits.”

“Another what?”

“Friend with benefits, Harry,” Luna explained patiently.  “You know, shag-buddies?”

“Erm, can't say I heard the term before…except you were calling Hermione my shag-buddy, weren't you?”

“You mean that she isn't?”

“No, of course not.”

“That's too bad,” Luna decided. “So would you like to have a friend with benefits, Harry?”

Harry paused. “Exactly what kind of benefits are we talking about here?”

“Guilt-free sex without expectations of exclusivity or long-term commitment.”

“Wow…that's a mouthful.”

“Yes,” agreed Luna, “getting a mouthful can be one of those benefits, even if you don't swallow.”

Harry snorted. “So, you asked if I wanted a friend with benefits….is that with Hermione or you?”

“Either or both, doesn't matter,” Luna replied.  “Harry, I can't clean your Center if your arm is covering it.”

“Erm, Luna…that's not my arm.”

“Lucky me, then,” she decided, and with a splash jumped into Harry's lap.

“Ooof!” Harry winced. “Luna, you just…might be broken….”

“Oh, I'm sorry, Harry, did I give you a boo-boo?”

“Erm…”

“Shall I kiss it and make it better?”

“No, that's okay, Luna.”

“Poo.”

There was a lull in the conversation, and then Harry asked, “Luna, would you really want to be a friend with benefits?”

“That depends,” said Luna. “Are you speaking just for you, or for Hermione as well?”

“Erm…just me.”

“Because the answer is yes either way.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” Luna replied. “You are my friend, aren't you Harry?”

“Sure.”

“And do you have an exclusive sexual relationship with someone else?”

“No.”

“And do you enjoy benefits, right?”

“Erm…guess I can say that I enjoy the prospect of certain benefits with certain people.”

“And would I be one of those certain people?”

Harry considered the question as the near naked witch squirmed in his lap and gave him puppy-dog eyes.

“Well, I'd say yes, except…didn't you say something about needing virgin pee on your trip?”

“Yes.”

“Well…wouldn't me being your friend with benefits make that difficult?”

Luna looked at him strangely. “Harry, has anyone ever given you the 'Talk'?”

The answer was officially no, but he lied….there was no way in hell that Harry was going to let Luna know that.

Thinking that he might need to make a preemptive strike, Harry said, “Luna, you are my friend, and a beautiful witch, and the offer to be my shag-buddy sounds brilliant, except….”

“Except what, Harry?”

“Well, to be honest, I'm not very…experienced, when it comes to that sort of thing…”

Luna's eyes lit up.

“Harry?”

“Yes, Luna?”

“Would you like to have a snog-buddy this morning?”

Harry smiled. “I think that I'd like that.”

Luna smiled, and played the gentle teacher over the next few minutes. But just when Harry thought he was getting the hang of tonsil hockey, Luna abruptly broke off the kiss and stepped out of the tub.

"Luna! What are you doing?" Harry asked, as his eyes tracked droplets of water as they trailed down Luna's body.

"Drying off," she replied, as she reached towards a stack of fluffy towels.

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?" Harry asked, as Luna wrapped a towel around her body, then reached underneath to pull off her wet knickers.

"No," Luna replied, as she leaned over the edge of the tub so that she could kiss the top of Harry's wet head. "We're trying to save you."

"What do you mean?" asked Harry.

Luna gave him a cryptic smile. "What do you think I mean?"

Harry shook his head. "You know, some people say you aren't supposed to answer a question with a question."

A series of "tsk-tsks" escaped from Luna's mouth. "And do I know any of these people, Harry Potter?"

Harry looked at Luna, thought about the last eight hours of his life, and shook his head.

"No," he said with a smile, "I don't think that you do."

"And is that a problem?" Luna asked, as she washed out her knickers in the basin.

"Definitely not," Harry replied. He leaned back, smiled, and decided that he really liked benefits.