Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from ching965 on August 03, 2009

This is one of the best stories I've ever read, period, both within and outside the fan fiction genre. I'm normally not too enamored with the first person perspective. After i started reading this story, I didn't stop until I finished this chapter. You've created quite a character in this Harry. He is very unique; all of the characteristics that make him who he is are presented subtly and through his actions, words, and thoughts. His character is created by our experience reading this story, and not by a dry recount of who he is (used too often by other authors). Phenomenal job. Thank you for a most thought-provoking story. I hope for more soon. Wish you the best.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from littlebitZ on May 07, 2009

Excellent Read. I like where the story is heading.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from Inziladun on April 14, 2009

It's very interesting and I kind of would like to know what happens next. However it seems last update was long ago, so I don't have much hope... I'll wait though.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from sirius009 on December 10, 2008

it's a shame that you appear to have abandoned this story, i rather enjoyed it.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from typa on October 23, 2008

Very, very nice. Definitely the best Mafia!Harry I've seen. Some things seem a bit... rushed, particularly with Daphne, but overall things are done quite well. Now, nine chapters in a month... And nothing for three. I do hope you're going to be presenting us new fans with more? It's awesome so far, now... moar!

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from Ellisande on September 04, 2008

Wow, incredible. I have to say, ruthless!Harry simply rocks. I absolutely love the intelligent conversation you have added as well. This Harry demonstrates both intelligence and rationality, which is so much more than I can say for many other fics, congratulations. DLP Style, 5/5. Easily.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from Luxuria on August 13, 2008

I love the story, Harry's attitude and actions definitely match his mafioso upbringing. I hope you write more chapters soon, it keeps getting better.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 5 from Another Douche on the internet on July 24, 2008

Quote: And so I crossed the metaphorical Delaware, a small lantern attached to the front of the boat acting as my beacon in the night. The Delaware River runs through here in Philadelphia, it was crossed by Geroge Washington, which is the reason for it's famous. Why is Harry, who is English, using American rivers as examples, and especially one which cost the English? Pretty much the only mistake I could find. I liked the interaction between Harry and Daphne in the second part of the chapter. She came off as mysterious and very sexy. I want moar of her, until Harry bangs her and later kicks her to the curb, like a typical Mafia guy. Quote: Information comes from everywhere -- it just takes someone willing to listen in order to find it. In the words of Harry Dresden; listening is a lost art. I'm glad to see this Harry thinks along the same lines. Harry going to Slytherin was a good move, there was no other house which suited this Harry. As fuubar pointed out, Harry pointing out the qualities of each house was a nice touch. I'm curious as to what direction you take the Umbridge-Harry interaction. Obviously this Harry is cunning, so I doubt we will see anything as stupid as cannon!Harry's actions. I just want to see how Harry treats her, whether he does the charming student ala Tom Riddle, or whether you take it in a completely different direction. Either way you have got my curiosity piqued. P.S.- I still think Harry needs a bodyguard, especially now that he is sorted into the House of the Snake. He needs someone to watch his back. Write MOAR!

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 4 from Another Douche on the internet on July 24, 2008

The first half had me scared, with all the Golden Trio interaction, and too much Ron or Hermione, in a Mafia!Harry, for my liking, but you more than made up for it, in the second half. The second half was pretty much everything I love about this story. You had the right characterization for a Mafia!Harry, he was noticing his surroundings at all times, kept his restraint while talking to Daphne, while others might have drooled. I liked Daphne, so far, though I do get the feeling that she is working against Harry's interests. The information that Harry has Voldemort's brother wand should be spread around sufficiently, due to Daphne. The Ministry and press part was my favorite. Harry handled the media very well, he didn't give away any important information, and he certainly did not make any enemies. All in all I would say, he handled the media, much better than canon!Harry could hope to. As for his conversation with the Minister, I think Harry went after Fuge a little too hard. Quote: “When the time comes, I expect for you to return the favor, regardless of whoever’s payroll you’re on.” When he said to Daphne that the Minister was corrupt, it was definitely alright. However, when he blatantly says in Fudge's face that he is corrupt, I think that's going a little too far. You just don't go out and say to the Minister that he is corrupt. That could lead to severe consequences, and I think Harry should know that. That's the only part that I had a problem with in the second half, other thant that you are good. I still think Harry needs a bodyguard, especially now that everyone is going to know, how far behind Harry is in learning magic.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 3 from Another Douche on the internet on July 24, 2008

F-ing A Nightfox, so far this story has been f-ing A. This is by far the best Mafia!Harry, I have had the fortune to read, The beginning of the chapter was handled very well. You have most of the traditions (women and children out of the way) of the family correct. Harry's attitude towards certain things was probably the best part of the whole thing. Beginning with his fond remembrance of Vanzetti, the power associated with the chair, and his own fears of whether he could keep the whole family together. The discussion with the family was excellent, especially with the Young Turk. That is the reality of the mafia, more often than not, bosses have to put down an overzealous Turk or a newly made man, who immediately think they are untouchable. I liked the way Harry handled both of them. The only complaint I have is the lack of nicknames for various members of the family. Most made men in the Mafia have nicknames. For example the alleged leader of the mob here in Philadelphia, Joseph Ligambi, is called "Uncle Joe". His predecessor, Joseph Merlino, was called "Skinny Joey". I know this might be considered nitpicking, but this is the kind of thing that takes away realism. As I said earlier, yours is the best Mafia!Harry I have read. However, the real test begins now when you associate Harry with Weasley and Granger. Personally, I would have preferred a Tom Riddle approach to Harry's visit to Diagon Alley, but that could be impossible due to Harry's fame. Last, I would like to make a suggestion. I think Harry should hire a wizard or witch bodyguard. He probably has enough money to do so, and it somewhat guarantees his safety. It also makes some of his tasks easier, like the aforementioned visit to Diagon, the bodyguard could just cast a Glamor Charm on Harry, making his life easier. Also The bodyguard also gives Harry another view of the wizarding world. So far, the only view point he has of the wizarding world is Dumbledore, and that is putting an awful lot of trust in one man. Most mafia people are very paranoid, and they don't trust anyone (Harry himself admits to that in the beginning), so him putting so much trust in Dumbledore is out of character. Also if its a female bodyguard Harry can always engage in extracurricular activities with her, since we all know how much the Mafia people love their gumas. Wow that's a long review!

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 2 from Another Douche on the internet on July 24, 2008

So far the story has been very good, and badass, but I fear its rapid decline if Harry goes to Hogwarts. There have been many so many of badass!Harry at Hogwarts, rarely are they ever good or believable. Personally I would like to see Harry take over the family, and have to deal with Death Eaters, and the upcoming war for turf in London. All the while he is trying to learn more magic, and cope with magical threats.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 1 from Another Douche on the internet on July 24, 2008

Excellent Idea... It has a real Mafia feel to it. It's a good start, so far, I really look forward to how this this thing progresses (Needless to say it turned out to be extremely good), but I thought I should leave a review, since you asked so nicely. Write MOAR!

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from deconneur on July 23, 2008

I usually dislike stories written in Harry's point of view. I usually find it doesn't bring much into the story while taking out a lot. I was wrong. Or you are the exception to the rule. In any case, I adore your story. This Slytherin!Harry is brillant! Absofuckinglutely brilliant! I really hope you'll keep in updating quickly as I am really dying to know. To know who are going to be Harry's allies and/or friends, to know when he'll understand he is not seeing his future but through Voldemort's eyes, to know when if his 'strolls' in Tom's mind will have an impact on his behaviour, etc. But most of all, I want to know if the misterious killer is indeed who I think it is: a small print? Like a pawn. Silver residues? Like a slight deterioration of someone's silver prothesis? An attempted murder? It wouldn't be the first, but it wouldn't be the first time the killer go away either... So, is it Peter Pettigrew? Please, tell me, please, *puppy eyes*, pwease? I've got to admit, your writting is very good. You do transport us inside a complex criminal mind, justifying every occurence (even those where moral is kind of 'forgotten'). However, it does have a down side (liked with my usual dislike a 1st POV): your brilliant writting is assimilated to Harry's thought system for the most part. And even though he is a mastermind, he doesn't know everything, can't know everything in a couple of months. So what happens when he will fail? 'Cuz I do believe he needs to fail, even a bit, to 1) become stronger, 2) not fall into a false sense of security, and 3) stir things a bit. In any case, you are the one leading him, so I assume you have a rough idea of where you want him to go and how. I just hope for one thing: to read it soon! So without further writting, I ask, as custom dictates (in way), for an UPDATE! pwease?

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from ReviewerOfTheWest on June 24, 2008

A most Slytherin of Potters. Someone to introduce the meaning of cunning to the stupid. Please continue

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from Lord Ravenclaw on June 16, 2008

I must say, I'm enjoying a more intelligent, truly cunning, and somewhat ruthless Harry Potter. I look forward to more.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from whatareyouevensaying on June 16, 2008

Well done, I'd say. I can tell that Ron's perceived rivalry with Harry will be realistically one-sided, and I really can't wait to see more of Daphne. Looking forward to more.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from laneyboy on June 16, 2008

Without a doubt, the best Mafia!Harry I have ever seen. I'm curious if we're going to be seeing any more of his "Family" involved in the story. Excellent writing. I will wait in anticipation for the next chapter.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 9 from Xiph0 on June 16, 2008

Awesome.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 8 from Samuel Black on June 09, 2008

Alright. So. I finally got around to reading through the whole thing in one sitting. I'm impressed. I'm fairly sure this is your first story, and it's a damn good one. The spelling/grammar, all that, seems fine to me. I didn't really go over it that hard, and nothing jumped out at me. Everything seems fine on that front. Personally, I think that one of the best things about this story is the way the story flows. It's different from most other stories. More... elegant, you could say. You're very descriptive, enough so that I get a very clear image in my head; but not so much that it gets old and boring. Harry, in this story, practically reeks of refinement. Reading him, I get a sense of wealth, power, upper class, yadda yadda, all that stuff. A problem I noticed earlier was the Slytherins. All of them seemed the same. Daphne and Blaise both seemed too smart. To perfect. I noticed that you tried to change that in the last chapter, which I thought went pretty good. You might want to watch out for that, and make sure you don't start writing them the way they were again. That being said... It can sometimes read, in my opinion, a bit pretentious. Almost snobbish. I don't know what you could do about that, as that very style of writing is what gives this story it's 'charm'. It's actually one of the things I enjoy most about it. Like somebody else said, Taure, I think, it's painfully obvious you're going for a Harry/Daphne pairing. Try to tone it down a bit, make it a bit more subtle, or something. All in all, though, it's damn good so far. Definitely the best Mafia!Harry I've ever read.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 2 from shascoo67 on May 24, 2008

this is a damn good story.are there other stories you've written?

Author reply
Negative, this is my first.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 1 from shascoo67 on May 24, 2008

wow!i'm already hooked.good job.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 8 from aduroconglacio on May 24, 2008

Very nice. The degree of suspense was very skilfully done. I commend you.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 8 from vylos on May 23, 2008

I'm still finding it hard to believe that he has not worked out the fact that its Voldemort's eyes he is seeing out of. Even canon Harry worked it out rather quickly. Shouldn't the death eater masks be enough evidence? He saw a bunch of them try to kill him after all. Also Vanzetti was killed by one of them...

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 8 from Xiph0 on May 23, 2008

Awesome.

Review for Cosa Nostra Chapter 8 from whatareyouevensaying on May 23, 2008

Interesting update, but it's a shame more didn't get done. Still, Harry is one step closer to finding his attacker, and his spellwork is coming along nicely. Looking forward to more.