Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 13 from whatareyouevensaying on November 23, 2008

Good work with this update. It seems like there's a connection between Trelawney's death and that of the conductor, but nothing is certain right now. It's all very interesting. I'm wondering the same thing as Harry... Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks, especially since I can't even bring myself to re-read the second half of this chapter I hate it so much. But at least someone found it tolerable :) Everything's connected and will eventually be explained once Harry connects the dots, which should be coming up in a few chapters' time. But those chapters will unfortunately take some time to write since life has a way of interfering. Oh well, only three more weeks of uni left until the Christmas holidays where I'm determined to sit and write at least one more chapter. Anyway, enough of my ramblings. Thanks for taking the time to review and for liking this chapter, because that's always nice to hear. I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. - Mark Twain

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 12 from Sesc on September 10, 2008

Nice. And loved Parvati asking Ron what Harry thought of Padma. I had actually completely forgotten about that practice ... yeah, suddenly a girl comes up in a break at school and asks you what you think what your best friend thinks of her friend, lol ... fun times, that. Used to happen all the time. Great :) Then, because I saw another asking reviewer the same thing, and I got that feeling too, but forgot to mention it last chapter -- does Katie like Harry "that way", or doesn't she? That's an important question, you know =) Oh, and what I wondered -- just who had a camera, and made that picture of Sirius? A tourist? Not terribly important, but something I thought about. Obviously, it had to have been made inside, not outside, where just Sirius, Peter and Buckbeak were present. Spelling in the paper article: -- Britain’s Head of International Cooperation, Bartemius Crouch, has Porkeyed ... Should be Portkeyed, with an additional t. And on a closing note, thanks again for your help with the back story of The French Affair, in the H/F-Thread, the first chapter is out and I wrote as much in the A/N.

Author reply
Thanks. I felt I needed to fit Parvati in somewhere and then realised just how she'd slot in. On the Katie front, she does like Harry, but she'd only ever consider acting on it if Harry showed some hint. She wouldn't want to put up with any awkwardness at Quidditch practice if he wasn't interested and she doesn't want to make a fool out of herself. As soon as she realises that Harry's into Padma, she'll back away slightly. But if I continue past Rustlings then Katie will likely have a shot in the future for a reason which is mentioned but didn't happen in canon. If you can guess that, then I'll be quite impressed. Camera-wise, I'd say one of the locals who were watching Sirius fight for entertainment. As soon as they realise just who was duelling, they decide they can make a pretty penny out of selling it to the international press. I doubt Amiternum would get many tourists due to its reputation - unless they're of the dodgy kind - and because officially Italy is still going through a civil war. I've reposted an edited version of the chapter with that correction and others. I really ought to read through the chapter when I'm more awake. Glad I could help with your new story. I'll have to read The French Affair at some point. I promise I'll do so - and I do take promises pretty seriously - but not tonight since I'm knackered from travelling. I still can't understand how sitting on a train can tire you out. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to review and glad you liked it. The next chapter is more interesting, especially how it ends. To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. - Woody Allen

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 12 from whatareyouevensaying on September 10, 2008

Very good update, it's hard for me to pinpoint just what it was that I liked the most, though. Probably Abravan's "You were in the wrong" line. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thank you. I'm rather a fan of that line, too. Anyway, I'm 1000 words into the next chapter, so hopefully it won't be too long for an update. Blame it on a long train journey up north and another back down. I kept having to close the document whenever anyone sat next to me since I was embarrassed by the thought of anyone realising I was writing Harry Potter fanfiction. Terrible, I know. Anyway, really glad you liked it and thanks for taking the time to review since I appreciate it. The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. – P. G. Wodehouse

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 12 from red_jacobson on September 09, 2008

serious coding issue with this chapter, the whole thing is gibberish in my reader. Is it okay on your end? red

Author reply
Redone. Uploaded the XP version so had to go back and resave it. Oops. Should be fine now. And now I need sleep. My apologises.

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 11 from DaBear on August 21, 2008

I enjoyed the story greatly so far, I enjoy AU's that are reasonably thought out and this is a gem.

Author reply
Thanks. I've tried to think everything through when I planned it out some I'm glad there's no sudden wtf moments that pop up from nowhere. Anyway, I hope you continue enjoying it. God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project. - Anonymous, Graffito

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 3 from Clell65619 on August 20, 2008

- Excellent. The politics smack of realism... God but your Fudge is an idiot.

Author reply
Chapter 3 is my favourite chapter and was the easiest to write. It comes from watching too many Yes, Minister episodes and seeing how poliics works behind the scenes. Fudge was meant to be an idiot since that's how he's pretty much portrayed in canon. But there will be consequences for him from all of this. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to review. I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin, you never know if someone's tape-recording what you say. - Richard M. Nixon

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 2 from Clell65619 on August 20, 2008

- Whoa! Nice fight scene.

Author reply
Thanks. Personally, I dislike writing action scenes probably since I dislike reading them in that I start to skim read when it gets to moments of action. But when the story calls for an action scene I have to go through the motions, so I'm glad it isn't utter rubbish. The fight scene in this chapter was particularly annoying since I had to go through the lexicon and note down which spells each character was likely to know and make a fight scene out of it. Such a pain in the neck. I don’t hold with bilingualism. English was good enough for Jesus Christ. – Ralph Melnyk

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 11 from red_jacobson on August 20, 2008

Hi; I just found your story this morning; and I'm really enjoying what you've done. It's nice to see a 4th year story without the angst and drama of the Tri Wizard, and this new professor of DADA seems rather interesting. I'm curious as to what Neville's problem is, and also where Luna was during the train ride. I've already recommended this story on CaerAzkaban, so you may see some other reviews as well. Red

Author reply
Well I'm glad you've enjoyed what I've done so far. I suppose it is a bit of a change to see a fourth year fic without the TWT, though it will be returning (only in Durmstrang) if I ever do continue after I finish this fic. I can't say much about the Defence professor except 'wait and see'. Neville's "problem" makes me laugh whenever I think about it. But I'm glad you noticed Luna's disappearance. That will have implications in the future, but apart from saying that my lips are firmly sealed. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to review and thanks for recommending the story. I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize. – George Bernard Shaw

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 1 from Clell65619 on August 20, 2008

- Very nice. The characterization of Bill is about the best I've ever seen, from his interactions with Charlie to his mild annoyance with Hermione, just perfect.

Author reply
Thanks. The first chapter is the worst in my opinion since the beginning is so bland. The second half of the chapter is where it really begins. Anyway, I'm glad you liked Bill. A few people have mentioned that they liked his characterisation which always surprises me. I don't know why, but it does. I suppose it might be because I always saw him as a means to an end with introducing Ancient Runes and didn't actually put much thought at all into his character since I knew he wasn't going to pop up again in Harry's fourth year. I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. - Mark Twain

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 11 from Glrasshopper on August 20, 2008

Good story so far. I've never come across one so far that just shunted the whole tournament off to the side like that but it is raising some interesting plot options. Keep it up, it's quite addictive.

Author reply
Thanks. The whole thing about the TWT being moved to one side was because I've had this plot in my head for over a year now, maybe even two, and it couldn't happen after GoF what with the whole Voldemort returning thing. I didn't want to re-write the entire series just to fit in one original plot so I needed to think of something and that ended up being the political consequences of the botched Quidditch World Cup. I'm hoping that it's rather original since I've never seen it done before, but making a claim at being original in Harry Potter fanfiction is something to be wary about. Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying it and I hadn't realised that it could be addictive. I'm hoping to get the next chapter out within a month's time but real life does its best to intrude and uni starts back up in September so writing time will likely decrease even more since I don't want to fail my course. I came upstairs into the world for I was born in a cellar. – William Congreve

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 11 from Sesc on August 18, 2008

Hey, great that you’re posting it here as well now. I think I’ll review here, then. You reached Jeconais-level here with this chapter. And I mean that in the good way, not the bad one. I was smiling throughout the chapter, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside and that’s a sure sign that you managed to appeal to my fluffy side perfectly. So don’t complain if I sound a bit … off (didn’t want to write “girly” because I hate those stereotypes. Guys can be like that, too – I have more sides than my dark-BTLCL-Harry-kills-then-all-side :p) When Harry and Padma parted. You captured that moment wonderfully, with all it’s awkwardness and sweetness. I had this image, both standing there just a bit apart from each other, somewhat self-conscious … it’s that point where you in hindsight realise that there is more than companionship between you and her, isn’t it? It makes me all nostalgic *sigh* Didn’t we all have those moments? You know, when you don’t quite know what to say, maybe look down to your hands and then suddenly don’t know where to put them … So yeah, for me, all that was there; all that conveyed with those few words. IMO, one of the best moments in your story so far. Or the whole Charms Club-thing … where he went, *just* because Padma asked him. How very, very wonderful. Or the exchange with Alicia, who, after Katie (I commented on that earlier, I believe), is your next great side-character. “She’s not in Gryffindor.” You just _know_ that this will get her attention, as soon as the words are out of Harry’s mouth. Just like you know that she will tell Angelina, and that both, being older, look at Harry the same way I do; knowingly, seeing what he (so far) not sees, because he (consciously or unconsciously) hasn’t taken the time to think about it. Would he have gone if, say, Hermione asked? Of course not. This is exceptional romance-writing. It reminds so much of myself (and I’m guessing, many of the readers) … it brings all the memories back. And the best thing is, that you don’t stop there – just like in this chapter, when you think it’s pure fluff, you throw in the headline, and suddenly, the chapter takes a completely unexpected turn. On the other hand, don’t think I forgot what Hermione saw (or didn’t saw), either. Nice way to hide that there. All in all, I really think this is among your best chapters. Others said that for the chapter before that, but that’s a matter of what you like, I suppose. I prefer this. I love it. Thank you for writing it. - Sesc

Author reply
Thank you for such a wonderful review. You've actually made my day. I'll take the Jeconais thing as a complement as long as you're not referring to his Happily Ever After. I'm glad your fluffy side liked it and I won't complain about you sounding "off" as you put it. To be honest, I'm not a fan of that sort of stereotype, either, since I don't think there are as many differences between the genders as people make out. I'm really glad the Harry and Padma parting scene came across like that since that's exactly how it was meant to come across as. It's a bit hard for me to write the interactions between them in a school situation since a) it's pretty hard getting into the POV of a fourteen year old boy and b) going to an all-girls' school didn't help. Therefore it's a relief to know I'm doing an alright job, though I think 'exceptional' might be pushing the boat out a bit too far. I'm just trying to make it believable instead of soul bond tripe. And of course Harry wouldn't go to Charms Club if Hermione had been the one to suggest it :) I'll admit to being slightly concerned about Harry and Alicia's conversation since I think it did edge on the cliche side of things, much like in Chapter Six when Harry wandered into Myrtle's bathroom I deliberately didn't have him do the whole "Ron, if that's you, this isn't funny" thing since it's something that's perpetuated in a lot of stories. But the conversation flowed so well that I couldn't bear to change it. I'm also glad that you liked Alicia as a side-character, especially since there's always the tricky balance of character numbers and the question of when does a character become a filler piece instead of adding something to a scene. You're one of the few people who's commented on what Hermione saw. Have you guessed what's going on yet? I'm wondering how long it will take for someone to put it all together. At this rate, Harry might work it out first! In the next chapter we get to see the repercussions of Chapter 10 since every action needs to have a reaction. Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to write this wonderful review. I'm glad you "love it" since I rather liked writing it. I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion. - Mark Twain

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 11 from hardcorehobbit on August 16, 2008

Ack. There's got to be more than that. I think you're doing we;ll thoigh. The story is profgressing at a good rate in my opinion. Are there some major events coming up? Perhaps there could be some kind of plot. I like the charms club stuff, it reminds me a little of the extra curricular stuff in Lady Alchymia's HPET. Also a good way to get Harry to know more people. I think canon lacks this, horrifically, as I don't honestl;y think Harry knows anyone in that school other than Gryffindors, Luna or Malfoy etc. Well done.

Author reply
Well I haven't even started writing the next chapter yet, so that's all there is for now :D Everything's basically planned out and things should be picking up soon. There is definitely a plot, only no one seems to have guessed exactly what's going on despite clues being present in every chapter set at Hogwarts. I just hate it when the reader knows more than the protagonist since then it just makes the central character look like an idiot for not realising what's going on. Major events-wise, barring scenes running on too long, something quite big happens in Chapter 13. But on the topic of this chapter, I want to add more depth to Hogwarts life and have Harry meet more people. I agree with you that in canon, Harry's interacts mainly with Ron and Hermione and later the Ministry Six. Outside of them, no other students are really characterised, barring Malfoy and the Weasley twins. It's highly unrealistic that Harry would be so insular, especially given who he is in the magical world, so I'm trying to rectify that oversight. Also, Charms Club is an easy way of making Harry learn while also making him meet new people. It also meant having to give a bit of extra depth to magic which Rowling always brushed over in the books. Anyway, enough of my rambling. I don't know that I've ever read HPET (whatever that stands for), but oh well. Thanks for taking the time to review since I really appreciate it. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 11 from whatareyouevensaying on August 16, 2008

Outstanding update, I really enjoyed every bit of it. It's a real shame to see Harry drifting apart from Ron and Hermione like that. On the bright side, it's mostly their faults. Harry's bound to be feeling a bit rejected, so it's good that he's still got Quidditch and his new friendship with the Ravenclaw group. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
I'm glad you liked it. I feel that Harry needs to drift away from Ron and Hermione for a few reasons: a) I've got bored of reading about the trio's interactions in some many fics, as well as in canon and didn't want to write the same thing; b) I don't think either of them really provide a conducive learning environment since Ron's presence is mainly a distraction and Hermione is just too serious when it comes to work; and c) in canon Harry rarely interactions with anyone outside of Ron and Hermione and, later in the series, Neville, Luna and Ginny, and I personally don't see this insular number of relationships as very realistic. But I never wanted to write a fic where Harry falls out with his two best friends in five seconds flat which happens with alarming regularity in fanon. Instead I just want them to drift apart and have Harry grow up a bit. But I'm happy you liked the chapter since nothing overly exciting happens. And thanks for taking the time to review. A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student. – Ambrose Bierce

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 5 from hardcorehobbit on August 15, 2008

Finally. A fic that doesn't have Ron being better than everyone else, despite hardly ever practicing. Maybe he'll practice for the following year, when this other fellow leaves. Interesting take on the history stuff, and the new professor. With the stuff about the Duke of Azwell, is that a literary fabrication?

Author reply
I didn't realise that Ron being great at Quidditch was that wide-spread in fanon, especially since in canon he's pretty useless. But he wouldn't get onto the Quidditch team next year anyway since it's the Triwizard Tournament at Durmstrang. Duke of Azwell is pure literary fabrication and would only really become relevant if I carry on through to sixth year. Since you'll have forgotten about this response by the time I get round to writing that far - if I get round to wiritng that far, that is - then I don't feel bad about mentioning it. Thanks for reviewing. It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. - Dave Barry

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 3 from hardcorehobbit on August 15, 2008

Fair points. I am surprised this didn't happen in canon tbh.

Author reply
Hmm, don't really know what to say in response. I was going for a realistic political outcome to the botched job done at the Quidditch World Cup so hopefully I wasn't too far off. Personally, I think canon never delved too deeply into the workings of politics. It was mainly portrayed as a shambles if my memory serves correctly. In fact, the only time that the Ministry seemed to work efficiently was when Voldemort was in control... Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? - John Mendosa

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 2 from hardcorehobbit on August 15, 2008

Good fight scene, though possibly Harry was a little too cool headed for a 14 year old, maybe he should have consulted fred and george. Probably not though.

Author reply
I'm glad you liked the fight scene. It was a pain in the neck to write since a) I usually flick over action sequences when I read them and b) I had to scan through the HP lexicon and note down which spells everyone would be able to use. Harry probably is a bit too cold-headed for a normal 14 year old, but Harry's not exactly normal. Out of all of them he's got the most experience in dealing with dangerous situations so I don't think he'd be too fazed about fighting when he's come close to death on numerous occasions in the past. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. - George W Bush

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 1 from hardcorehobbit on August 15, 2008

Good start this. You've done to me what you wrote about happening to harry. Usually I don't care about why a thing has its specific effect. I also like the way you've got Bill into the story. In others, suddenly, Harry just says "oh, Bill's a curse BResaker, lets ambush him for help and access to Goblin knowledge. Educational and as an older brother type is much better. Also, spelling and grammar spot on, nothing I could spot.

Author reply
Thanks. The first half of the chapter is a bit of a drag, I fully admit, but I think it does get better once he reaches the Burrow. So I'm glad to see that you think it's a good start since personally I'd go with mediocre. I'm glad you liked how Bill slots in. Having Bill as some mediator to the Goblin nation has become rather cliche and I'm aiming for realism throughout this story. Well, as realistic as a story set in a magical world can be. And thanks about the spelling and grammar. If you ever do spot any mistakes please mention it. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Dave Edison

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 10 from fuubar on August 07, 2008

An excellent story. This is one of the very few stories that I have seen that keeps Harry in character and yet manages to have him move on in a new direction smoothly and believably. The bit with the tournament being canceled was something that I have never seen before. Also, Pettigrew being eaten? Awesomeness, pure epic win. I can't wait to see where you take this, keep up the good work.

Author reply
Thanks for taking the time to leave such a nice review. One of my main aims is to slowly alter Harry's character so it doesn't appear to be a 180 shift in personality as is seen in quite a few fics. After a while, reading of Harry's inner ponderings where he "suddenly" realises that the Philosopher Stone plot was mainly set up for him - despite Ron of all people figuring this out in first year - gets old. But keeping him as canon Harry who lacks motivation, ambition and, well, a brain wasn't particularly appealing either so I'm slowly moulding him into someone who thinks a bit more about what he's doing and actually making him mature, which is something I personally feel never happened in the actual series. If anything, by the end I'd felt Harry had regressed. But change is slow since I'm trying my hardest to be realistic i.e. Harry thinks he ought to learn more magic when he's in danger, but once out of danger he sort of goes back to his normal mindset, much like when it comes up to exam time you promise that you'll study harder afterwards since you don't know anything, only to then ignore the studying once you've passed. I think it's human nature and that habit is a hard thing to get out of, but Harry is starting to think a bit more and will be/is taking studying a bit more seriously. But I'm glad it seems believable since that's the aim. Anyway, moving past that long-winded paragraph, I'll mention that Chapter 3 was my favourite chapter to write. I needed to fit a plot line in but it wouldn't fit after GoF with Voldemort being back, so I needed to postpone the Triwizard Tournament. Cue in watching the political comedy Yes, Minister (which I highly recommend), and I realised that the fiasco of the World Cup was never addressed internationally, since you can bet it'd be seen as a national digrace. And thus Chapter 3 basically wrote itself. Glad you liked Wormtail's demise. I always thought it fishy how Peter, a wizard not renowned for his magical prowess, was able to find Voldemort in a matter of weeks when the Dark Lord's more adept follows (read: Bellatrix, the Lestrange brothers and Crouch Jr) couldn't find him after just being vanquished when the trail would be more fresh. Even more strange in my opinion was how Sirius, embittered and slightly unhinged - or so I like to think - after 12 years in Azkaban, decided to hide away instead of seeking out the person who sent him to hell on earth for that many years, especially when you consider that a Peter outside of Hogwarts should be easier to catch than a Peter inside Hogwarts. Anyway, I've rambled on enough and you probably didn't care to hear my commentary on what I've written. Rest assured I do know where I'm taking this. There are several clues lying about the place, but thankfully no one's put it all together yet. The plot's all been planned out and now it's just a case of getting it written down. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 10 from sushiz on August 05, 2008

great story, i loved the end of this chapter. Update soon and keep up the great work

Author reply
Thanks and I'm glad you liked the ending. The next chapter is set back at Hogwarts and will be out by the 15th at the latest. Which means I ought to get back to writing it... A careful driver is one who looks in both directions when he passes a red light. – Ralph Marterie.

Review for Rustlings in the Dark Chapter 10 from whatareyouevensaying on August 02, 2008

Outstanding story you've got going here, I'm really enjoying it. Going backwards, I like your flawed version of Sirius, even if it means Buckbeak is living a less than ideal life. He seems to accept his lot, after all. Your Harry is perfectly IC without being irritating or lazy, and I like the way that, up until the previous chapter, Hermione was far more villainous than Ron. Makes for a nice change. Still, it was good to see Ron's true suspicions about Harry aired, if only briefly. His anger was too raw for that to be the only time Harry's supposed "selfishness" will come up. Padma is also proving to be a great character. I like how easily Harry is distancing himself from Ron and Hermione. And now that he knows why they've been avoiding him a bit, he won't be as concerned. After all, it's Hermione's decision... Err...I had one more thing, but it seems lost in the shuffle now. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thank you. I personally dislike stories where Sirius can shake off twelve years of Azkaban and come out unscathed. Instead, I think he ought to be scarred for life by the experience. I'm predicting a lot of alchol in his future, actually. Harry is a character I'm slowly changing since I didn't like his pure idiocy in canon but I'm pretty sick of the large glut of stories featuring him changing personality overnight. On the topic of Ron and Hermione, I don't want this story to descend into mindless bashing which, judging from how annoying it was to write the argument between Ron and Harry, would be something I doubt I could even write. But Harry's friendship with them is a bit too established by fourth year for them to fall out over a single thing, thus why it's more a case of them distancing from each other while also providing the opportunity for Harry to interact with more people. I'm glad you like Padma. Since we have basically no knowledge of her from canon, I pretty much had a blank slate to start with. I'm trying to avoid stereotyping as much as possible - thus why Ravenclaw is a house of procrastinators - since it's a peeve of mine that students should be the exact embodiment of their houses. Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to review. Next update should be by August 15th. Blown his brains out you say? He must have been an incredibly good shot. – Noel Coward