Review for Beginnings of Conflict Chapter 1 from Noteworthy on December 15, 2009

I love the author's polished use of the English language throughout this piece. I find it appropriately rich, yet without pretension. Voldemort comes across a bit too civilized. Knocking at the door? Probably not. And I think he talks too much in this piece. But his punishment - taking a new baby - is dead on target, stealing the joy from any young parent. Bellatrix is portrayed most believably of all the characters. Grovelingly patronizing toward the Dark Lord, I could see right through her. Drop the child in a closet? That's just what she would do. And she was appropriately clueless about babies. 1 percent milk? Perfect. Frank actually showed some backbone in the story. He was so submissive at the top I had trouble believing he would ever have defied Voldemort in the first place. But going for Neville and bouncing off the Imperius curse, the old boy showed some spunk. I liked that. Calling a council and asking for input to determine the Longbottom's punishment? Hmmm. Would Voldemort do that? I have my doubts. On the other hand, a seasoned leader always solicits buy-in from his followers. Can't wait to read where this author takes us next! -Noteworthy

Author reply
He didn’t knock, he rang the doorbell. Still, yes he was too civilized. Voldemort’s lines were particularly hard to write. I was afraid I made him too nice. "He talks too much in this piece?" Explain.