| Title: James Potter and the Mirror of the Elders | James, Lupin, and Sirus go to a strange place after a strange dream. It is filled with locked doors and challenges that even a fully-grown wizards like them can't handle. One thing may save them from the bitter fate ahead and that is the Mirror of the Elders... | |
| Author:apagefull | + / - | ASSSTV | |
| Rating: PG-13 | Category:Action/Adventure/Timetravel | Reviews:2| Published: February 07, 2010 | Updated: February 07, 2010 | |
| Tags: James Potter, Sirus Black, Remus Lupin |
Reviews 1 - 2 of 2
Review for James Potter and the Mirror of the Elders Chapter 2 from suffocatingsilence on March 01, 2011
It looks like you're going into different tenses here. First you say that "the wind caught their hair" and then you say "A cloaked figure flys (should be flies) over the clouds". It's more appealing to the eye when everything is said in the same tense.
There was also a few phrases that I didn't know: What's a wandshake? I'm not really sure.
Review for James Potter and the Mirror of the Elders Chapter 1 from suffocatingsilence on March 01, 2011
There are just a few spelling/grammar mistakes that I noticed, but it wasn't bad enough to disrupt the flow of reading. :) You've definitely caught my attention with this first chapter (though it is a little small).
Reviews 1 - 2 of 2