Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 2 from Taure on June 17, 2008

Youknow, I'm still not entireyl clear on what the Order of Bath acually *does*. Also, if you can't reduce the size of items, then what does the "Reducio" spell do? Otherwise very good.

Author reply
The Order of the Bath is mainly political apointments, but can be used for a "reward" at the end of military service, or if you've done something personal for the Crown. Reducio is used to reduce item that have been engorged. Think of it as a counter to the engorgement charm. There's more than enough proof in canon that you can't "shrink" things and put them in your pocket. PM me if you want a number of examples.Thanks for commenting!

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from Jeram on June 16, 2008

Okay, I've read the first chapter. It's pretty decent, and I'm interested in what will happen next. However, I do have some specific comments: "The PM-to-be hadn't been announced as of yet, a couple of weeks to go before that happens, but during the interim Harry stood guard in what was known in political circles as the wizard's cove (a five by five foot magical inset of virtually every office and gathering room of every person of reasonable power in parliament, and the home office." That part in parentheses seems a bit - long, I guess. Oh, and you're missing the end parentheses. "Royals around the world as well as Heads of state were falling in large numbers to the hand of the Dark Lord, and if not for the brave acts of Harry Potter and his two friends Voldemort would have had all of his wishes come true." Because you're referring to a past event, it'd probably be better to say: "Heads of State had been falling in" "The Official Secrets Act, pertaining to information designated as risks to national securi" I think you're referring to the "Statute of Secrecy". "Most members of the Wizengamot thought providing Aurors to guard a few muggles a small price to pay in return for all out war with the nation's government at their discovery of what had happened to them at the end of the second reign of Voldemort." Um, I think you should say "a small price to pay in return for PREVENTING all out war" (caps for emphasis). ""Then Mister Potter I would suggest that you prepare yourself to be surrounded by them as you will soon be that which you, what was it you said, weren't a big fan of; though thankfully not a Lord nor with any royal rank whatsoever."" Kind of an unwieldy sentence here. But at least change to: "as you will soon be by that which" (the "by" is added) "Shall I continue?" This line is oddly tabbed (it's further to the right than the other lines). And near the bottom of the chapter, there are a bunch of other sentences with the same problem. Try to keep them all aligned, otherwise it can distracting to read. "Mister Manspark, I have a job with the Ministry of Magic I don't need a new one." I suggest starting a new sentence at "I don't", like "Ministry of Magic. I don't" "Please Harry the situation is dire and we need your help" I suggest adding a comma after "Harry" here. "Dire. There's that word again," Um, where was it the first time? I only saw one reference to it, unless you're referring to something in the books? "Two more rooms later Padma stopped and opened a decretive panel to call a lift." Misspelling - it should be "decorative". "It almost got me killed and did get a number of people that I did know very dead. " Using "did" twice here sounds odd - how about "number of people that I knew very dead" instead? Looking forward to more, -J

Author reply
Thank you for finding all of those mistakes!

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 2 from sirius009 on June 16, 2008

good information chapter, i look forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks, I look forward to writing more.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 2 from scaryisntit on June 16, 2008

An interesting beginning, Heather. I was a little worried with all the sword talk in the first chapter - personally can't stand swords in HP, as they point is magic - but this has easied concerns. There are an increasing number of these mystery style HP fics coming out to my great pleasure. I enjoy these stories as real novels - as in not fanfiction - and the magic aspect of HP mixed with the murder mystery storylines offer a new world of possibilities. I look forward to reading more on this. Kudos on the use of Padma as a lesser known character. I also look forward to more of Twenty Four Hours to Live, and Unbearable Lightness of Fleur Delacour. Keep writing, Heather. You're great at it. scaryisntit

Author reply
Don't worry about the sword. It doesn't play a major part of the story and Harry won't all of the sudden have wicked mad swordmanship skillz. The upsurge in mysteries is great because it's the next natural evolution to Harry's character being an Auror and all. As long as hes not one of those keystone cop/aurors. Authors can see what happened to their favorite character now that they don't have to be ickle students. We all grow up; they should too. Padma is a way too underused character with great potential. I'm happy to use her ... heh. Thanks for commenting!

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 2 from Sesc on June 15, 2008

Well, as I said in the thread over at DLP, solid work like usual, writing-wise, and other than that, intriguing. However, are you sure about PG-13 and a monster that mutilates the bodies of its victims? Obviously I don't mind, only when I have Bella ripping out a heart in my story, I rate it M, but whatever. I hate the 'accept first, answers later'-thing, but that's just something personal -- I tend to refuse there on principle, so nothing that is wrong in your story in particular. Padma and warm oil gives all me sorts of nice ideas, and there were a few moment where I laughed -- like this one: Harry stepped forward leisurely and leaned against the worktable. "So I've got a really sharp sword that might or might not glow in the dark?" Lol. Just one question, since you got a bunch of stories going -- on which one are you working? And what's the status of 24 Hours to Live or War of Wills, for example? Eh, you don't have to answer in both places -- but since Raven wanted more reviews, what I'm going to write is bound to be redundant to a point. *shrugs* It drives the review-counter up, if nothing else.

Author reply
Okay, wow. Thanks for all the love there, baby! Rating wise? I though of all the blood and guts I saw in the last AVP movie and it was PG-13. The comedy: I really like it when I can think of something funny that other people enjoy. I have an odd sense of humor. Bunches of stories: ULFD is my primary,Scarlet Rod-second, and anything else is third. I use them to get me through blocks, etc. I have not abandoned anything. Thanks again for the review.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 2 from Lord Ravenclaw on June 15, 2008

I'm quite enjoying the story thus far. I always did love a mystery. This Harry Potter seems almost...bored with his life. Especially if he's defending an office from evil in a 5x5 cubical. I can't wait to see where this goes. Keep up the great work!

Author reply
Thank you for commenting! Yes, Harry is bored and disallusioned (sp) with his life at the moment. As you can tell by now he's not liking the politics he encounters. But more on that later.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 2 from whatareyouevensaying on June 15, 2008

Very good update. I really like how you've taken Padma's character and run with her. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
We'll be running all over the place with her. I want to make her the anti-Hermione, smart but fun instead of the stick-in-the-mud Hermione is.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 2 from Cateagle on June 15, 2008

*snicker* Ah, another fun chapter for perusal. I have to admit that I love this bitingly sarcastic Harry and I think he's going to have quite the challenge here. It should be quite interesting to see how this story evolves. That sounds like an interesting ritual, somewhat like an enhanced version of the annointing with oil used for various ancient rulers (I seem to remember something like that being done for the Kings of Israel in the Old Testament). Finally, a small nit to pick: "...the gaping whole..." should be "...the gaping hole..." A minor error but with quite a shift in meaning.

Author reply
I havn't really done a sarcastic!Harry so I'm glad it's coming off well. Yes, you are correct about the ritual with the oil. I stole the idea from that... with a little added bonus that you don't know about. Thank you for catching the typo.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 2 from pfeil on June 14, 2008

Anything, eh? That luck potion of Slughorn's would be much more useful en mass than polyjuice... nitpick: "the gaping whole" should be "hole".

Author reply
Yes, Felix would be a nice potion to have mass quantaties of, but one person couldn't use it all and Harry doesn't have a buch of people to give it to. I suppose he could sell it and get loaded that way. Thanks for the typo catch!

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from sch1av0na on June 11, 2008

Interesting start but I think that this Harry is being just a bit too trusting of Her Majesty and Padma. I would have expected him to be more cautious and cynical after DH (Dreadfully Horrible) and his being a serving Auror for a large part of the last nine years. I'll be watching to see where it goes. Thanks for posting...

Author reply
Oh, he is cautious and cynical, but he is also an Auror and he is also a British Citizen. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility for him to accept the appointment and chew ass later. Thanks for your comments!

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from sparky40sw on June 11, 2008

Extraordinarily cruel to dragoon Harry in that manner, but that seems to be an integral part of the British tradition. Too bad you chose to have the "warm oil" off stage, Ihear that Padma is quite a dish. thanks for sharing, and I will be happily anticipating the next chapter.

Author reply
Yes, too bad about the oil. It's a pg-13 fic so we only get to see a quick shot of Padma's dishy figure and I didn't want to waste it here. But the good part is you'll find out what went on in the room in the next chapter. Thanks for commenting.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from Cateagle on June 10, 2008

Interesting, very interesting start indeed. I rather suspect the ritual did some interesting things to, and with, Harry and likely had some side effects for Padma, too (though it appears to have had some interesting aspects, too). It will be interesting to see just what/who is doing the killing. For some reason, I strongly suspect that the cyclic period of 70 years is significant to all of this but I'm not familiar with all of your sources and I look forward to seeing where this story goes.

Author reply
The annointing ritual is derived from several sources and I'm not giving anything away when I say that it is just solidifying something for Harry, not giving him or Padma anything extra. This will not be a super-powered Harry story. The 70 years thing is not a gigantic part of the story but a small clue as to what/who might be the villian. Thank for reading.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from DJ32 on June 10, 2008

Good start it will be fun to see ware you go with it. Thanks for writting.

Author reply
And thanks to you for the comment!

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from whatareyouevensaying on June 10, 2008

Very strong start, though I hope we'll be getting answers soon. I take it this departs from canon rather thoroughly, if Neville is the one with Gryffindor's sword? Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thank you. Yes, a few answers will be in the next chapter, but you will only get a few hints as to who the bad guy, guys, or "it" is. I don't think I'd be moving too far from cannon considering Neville was the last person to wield Gryffindor's sword when he did in nagini in DH. But I might have mixed my facts up. I'll have to check on that.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from Devlin on June 09, 2008

Great first chapter I can barely wait til chapter two is posted. The Ninth Gate is one of my favourite movies and I'm a die hard Lovecraft fan and wonder how the story will evolve when these elements firmly come into play ... although I think you're using Rats in the Walls (?) concerning the cyclic murders.

Author reply
Ninth Gate was one of my favorites as well> i wasn't too fond of the ending but I can't have everything. You should see some of the elements in the next 2 chapters. I've never heard of "Rats in the Walls." The cyclical plot device is used in a number of stories. One that comes to mind is Stephen King's "It," but I've seen it in a number of others. Thanks for commenting and I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from dave gerecke on June 09, 2008

You need to be more clear about what went on in the room. It has left me with TMI or not enough. dave

Author reply
But Harry promised not to tell anyone ... sorta. That doesn't mean that he can't talk to Padma about the ... oil.

Review for Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod Chapter 1 from aduroconglacio on June 09, 2008

Interesting story. It's too soon to give a proper review of what you've got going here, but from what I see, it looks to be suspenseful. I do hope that all of the details behind Harry's rather sudden indoctrination into the Order of the Bath will come clear - and hopefully with a good dose of indignation on Harry's part. He got manipulated. Again. Or, in other words, "pwned." Keep it up.

Author reply
Yes, all will be explained in the next chapter as Padma gets to the meat of the matter. I hope to get and keep the suspense high in this story. i hope you enjoy future readings.