| Title: Hero | Summary: After saving the world from the menace known as Voldemort, the ministry is quick to capture Harry; it wouldn’t due to let him become the next dark lord after all. They sentence him to be killed through use of one of the DoM’s many secrets, the White Room. AU. Time travel. NoShip? | |
| Author:The Fiddler's Soup | + / - | ASSSTV | |
| Rating: PG | Category:General/Timetravel | Reviews:4| Published: February 24, 2009 | Updated: February 24, 2009 | |
| Tags: Timetravel, DH |
Reviews 1 - 4 of 4
Review for Hero Chapter 1 from Popdude125 on November 21, 2010
Great story, can't wait until your next update keep up the great work
Review for Hero Chapter 1 from silverlasso on March 10, 2009
This is okay, but Super!Harry is a bit of a turnoff...I'll keep watching for updates, though; there's hope yet, I think.
Review for Hero Chapter 1 from Kyle_Dodge1 on February 24, 2009
Wow. Major Gary Stu. Take this one back to the drawing board, buddy. You might consider visiting Darklordpotter.net to see exactly the type of work most of your readers will expect.
Do you really have many ideas? Because all I see is an almost improbable bunch of clichés forced together. Most of this doesn't make any sense. You don't explain why people betrayed him, why Ministry decided to execute him – the concerns about him being the next dark lord are a very weak reason. Especially since after defeating Voldemort Harry had to be the most popular Another question is: why the hell Harry has a death wish?
"This actually made me happy; it had been a long standing theory that no one could survive the pure white contents of the room." Well, we can't have this. I'll conduct experiment on myself, duh.
Brains deficiency combined with an ultimate delusions of grandeur aren't really most appealing qualities for protagonist.
Those inconsistencies wouldn't ruin the story on their own. This job does the absolutely ridiculous amount of power Harry wields. Even if we agree that two year old body has the same magic capabilities as a mature one, defeating Dumbledore without a wand puts Harry on the very top of a food chain. To make this story hold at least some interest, you would have to invent adversaries worthy of his attention. Good luck with this.
The last concern is characterisation. It is non-existent. Harry acts like a... well, like a standard ffnet's overpowered OOC Harry with a flair for cape flourishing. Other characters aren't far away.
The only way IÂ see to improve the quality is to scratch this and write something that hasn't been done thousand times. Or, if you are hell-bent on continuing, add some decent plot. Protip:Â showing off Harry's awesomeness is not a plot.
Reviews 1 - 4 of 4