Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 25 from Aaran St Vines on September 15, 2009

Great chapter. I've never seen anyone use the mistrust of Remus mentioned by Sirius at all, must less as you have. Good stuff.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Aaran. I'm glad you liked the bit with Remus' motives. This is an AU, but it still struck me as a plausible explanation for why he abandoned Harry in canon. Next chapter will be out in a couple days.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 25 from whatareyouevensaying on September 15, 2009

Very interesting update, I can't believe Remus! He's now like a nicer, cuddlier version of Snape in my mind now...not exactly a compliment for the werewolf. McGonagall losing faith in Dumbledore is a great development, and I loved all of Harry's training scenes. It's great to see him making progress. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. Remus will get a little of the spotlight in the coming chapters, and there are a couple twists in the Dumbledore/McGonagall relationship still to come. Glad you're enjoying Harry's progress. It's certainly going to get put to the test in the next chapter. It'll be out in a couple days. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 24 from darkrazial on September 12, 2009

This is a very good story, alot of action and suspence. The plot keeps you interested no matter what and the pairing of harry and parvati fit it well, please keep it up and post a new chapter soon david

Author reply
Thanks for the kind words, darkrazial. Glad you're enjoying the story. Next chapter is up.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 24 from Jeram on September 01, 2009

This wasn't the most action-packed chapter, but it was enjoyable. I particularly liked the characterization of a desperate Hermione - surprisingly accurate I think. I hope your outline gives you a decent plan to pace things and build tension and suspense.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Jeram. Yeah, things are building to a head soon, though the final conflict is not yet looming. Hopefully you'll enjoy the coming battle in Hogsmeade. Next chapter is up.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 24 from BJH on August 31, 2009

Nice chapter. I like how you are moving Harry and Parvati slowly, it makes the relationship more in keeping with the situation. I have to think about how Parvati seems to be taking Hermione's side in pushing Harry to forgive her. Yes, she regrets her choice but she did make a choice to help conspire to get Harry killed, and she profitted from her actions. How can that be seen as forgivable? What has she done to atone fro her actions other than cry? Does she regret what she did or simply regret that DD used her as well as using Harry? BJH

Author reply
Thanks for the review, BJH. There's more H/P action next chapter, and the Hermione situation will remain on slow-burn for awhile. I tend to see her as sincere in trying to redeem herself. Her loyalty to Harry conflicted with her loyalty to Dumbledore and the greater good, and she made a bad mistake. Forgivable, I think, if only because she made it when she was 12 and regretted it instantly. Next chapter is up.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 24 from Voice of the Nephilim on August 29, 2009

Douche!Harry out in full force. I get it, though. I don't know why this didn't occur to me before, but I like how you're playing Voldemort as an impatient child. He wants it now, and he doesn't care the price. Harry's planning more than reacting now. The disillusioned "ears" within the Slytherin common room was quite nice. Ah, the blossoming of teenage romance. That would have been torturous for me to write. You did well though. Well done on the chapter.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Voice. Yes, Douche!Harry was made an appearance this chapter, but he will quickly make his exit. You're exactly right about my portrayal of Voldemort. In many ways he's like a petulant child: impatient, incapable of empathy, and unwilling to curb his lusts. Basically I see him as an endless black hole of rage, wanting to destroy everything that dares not to worship him. More romance this chapter. Hopefully you'll be able to stomach it. :) Next chapter is up. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 24 from Aaran St Vines on August 27, 2009

Not enough writers consider the explosive emotions of a 15 yr old under this kind of stress. Well done.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Aaran. I'm glad you're liking my portrayal of Harry's emotions. I'm trying to keep it realistic for a teenager, even if he's very powerful. Next chapter is up. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 24 from whatareyouevensaying on August 27, 2009

Excellent update, it's good to see Harry finally out of his funk and thinking truly proactively again. The brief scene with Parvati was quite satisfying as well. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, what. Sorry it took me so long to respond. I'm glad you're enjoying the H/P action. There's more in the newest chapter, which I just posted. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 12 from furybolt on August 15, 2009

you know if we take the word 'bum' which means ass 'chod' which is unintentionally a hindi word the then bumchod would assfuck. Oh and This is very good story.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 23 from Jeram on July 12, 2009

I guess that British lady has some crazy ideas, eh? Some decent action this chapter, including some increasingly crazy Harry. Boy he hates Dumbledore - a lot. That's a bunch more than some. It's actually good to see that at least Harry does seem to be "getting" that people are dying for him. And that kiss? Very realistic. So kudos on that.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 23 from whatareyouevensaying on July 08, 2009

Brilliant update, much as I hate magical oaths. I loved the entire fight, and I applaud your restraint in keeping Bellatrix alive. She'll be interesting. Looking forward to more.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 23 from BJH on July 07, 2009

You gotta love that Croaker! That's twice now that the Bones/Potter team has been taken in by a group of dissillusioned enemies. You know that old saying "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." We had better see some people working on tactics that will reveal these hidden foes before they launch their attacks Dumbledore and Moody can both see through those spells so it would be a nice show on their part to share that skill. Speaking of Dumbledore and tactics, he used the same tactic twice in this fight: he would conjure a distraction, the wolves, and send them in to get destroyed and then, when the enemy is injured and/or distracted he steps in and becomes the hero. I am expecting Harry to notice thise trend, afterall it fits so neatly into what Albus is doing to Harry. Harry is the distraction that he is sending to confront Voldemort and then when it is done, he will step in for the coup de grace and take the credit. Harry might even begin to think that the entire prophesy thing was conjured by Dumbledore just as the wolves were. Or maybe Hermione could figure this out and tell Harry? It may serve her well in repairing the damage she has done. Will Harry be returning to Hogwarts soon? It would be the easies way for him to catch up with the good Weasleys and maybe step on Ron once or twice. BJH

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 23 from wolf550e on July 07, 2009

Very good. The Dumbledore situation is both unresolved and realistic. The fight was good. The romance was iffy, but it was supposed to be.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 23 from Voice of the Nephilim on July 07, 2009

Another quality chapter. The Parvati interactions were well done, even if he was surprisingly clueless in her company. I liked the medical training. Something very useful, that isn't often seen in stories. Also a nice way to embarrass Harry. End battle was well done, even if it was oddly structured. By introducing Bellatrix at the end of Dumbledore's POV, it destroyed the dramatic resonance it should have had when Harry first laid eyes upon here. Well done, I eagerly await the next chapter.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 23 from Aaran St Vines on July 07, 2009

Very nice battle. Realistic within story parameters. Decent muzzling of Dumbledore, but I still want him publicly ruined in your tale. Cheers!

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 23 from tjmitchem on July 07, 2009

This was a truly excellent chapter, Mike. I absolutely loved Croaker's little 'I swear on my magic that I'll have killed if you don't back the fuck off' threat to Dumbledore. That was a novel, and effective, way of getting AD under some semblance of control. Also liked the fact that Harry got to deal some serious damage on Bellatrix.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 23 from Stygius on July 07, 2009

about time harry learns that he can't save them all... harry needs to know who and what he is fighting for... its too hard to bear the responsibility for everyone...

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 22 from BJH on June 28, 2009

Interesting that Hermione can't stop apologizing on one hand but refuses to allow Harry the space to resolve his feelings. She tries to force him to forgive her like she would force him to study. Very in character. It might be interesting to see inside the dynamic of the three girls, Susan, Hermione, and Parvati. Parvati being possessive but still unsure of her relationship and Susan and Hermione both dealing with the guilt of having betrayed him, even if Susan's wasn't voluntary. I like the way you literally portrayed the fog of war in your battle scene. BJH

Author reply
Thanks BJH. That literal 'fog of war' was exactly what I was aiming for. Hopefully it wasn't too confusing. The dynamic between the girls will get some screentime in future chapters, particularly as Hermione tries to get back in Harry's good graces. Next chapter is up.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 22 from Voice of the Nephilim on June 28, 2009

Ha, the will was great. They definitely had this whole thing planned out. Interesting, it's usually assumed that Fawkes had been with Dumbledore for a very long time. Not so much here, and the timing is indeed suspicious. Perhaps Fawkes is an agent of destiny. Dumbledore is really good at alienating his allies. How did this joker manage to defeat Grindelwald? Nice training exercise Proudfoot set up. Is a Weasley suicide on the horizon? The final scene was rather confusing, as it seemed all the spell-fire took place in a cloud of smoke. Well done on the chapter.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Voice. Indeed, Fawkes is a bit more than a bird in this story. More on that later. The final scene was meant to be a little confusing. I was hoping to show a literal 'fog of war,' where it's not clear what's happening to anyone. The rest of the action scenes won't be so obscure. Next chapter is up.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 22 from Aaran St Vines on June 28, 2009

Terrific scene with the Weasley children calling Molly's hand. I want Dumbledore to spend his long final years as a squib reading every revision of history telling what a SOB he was/is. Great chapter.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Aaran. I like your proposal for Dumbledore. You'll just have to wait to see what I have in mind for him. The drama between him and Harry is not yet over. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 22 from Stygius on June 28, 2009

where's Nymmy.... i don't like the sound of belle on the loose (especially with nymmy misisng).

Author reply
Thanks for the review. Nymmy's fate is made clear in chapter 23, which I just posted. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 22 from whatareyouevensaying on June 28, 2009

Umbridge again? Shite. I really enjoyed this chapter, particularly the little tidbit concerning Fawkes' origins. Whether you choose to expand on it or not, it isn't something I've seen before. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. Glad you liked the bit with Fawkes. He'll be exiting the story for a little while, but he'll return near the end. Next chapter is up.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 22 from Jeram on June 28, 2009

must say - that will and testament was indeed a funny, funny thing. HA HA HA! I'm actually chuckling out loud. I also am so pleased how you're portraying Hermione here - three-dimensionally, and all that, even if Das Weasleys aren't quite as interesting. Here's something: I'm pretty sure McGonngal was in the OoTP already... I mean I am essentially positive, the HP Lexicon even says so. And I'm offended! Molly can more than "cook" - she can use cleaning charms, setting tables charms, "Not MY Daughter" charms, why, nearly 10 different things. I'll bet Shacklebolt can barely protect 10 Prime Ministers at once... the weakling. He's no Molly Weasley. Still, I liked this one - the bit with Dumbledore was good, showing his quasi-leadership skills and all. Harry's training was also a bit of fun in a crazy chapter.

Author reply
Thanks for the kind words, Jeram. You're right about McGonagall, but we never saw her at any Order meetings until the 7th book. I just postulated a late entry for her here. Next chapter is up; it's a bit of a crazy one too.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 21 from Jeram on June 24, 2009

Loads of laughs all around, huh? Fawkesy sure don't like Dumbles anymoresy. Cutesy enough for you? Ok, I'm done now. I liked this chapter. Action, but went quickly. Nice to get a look at Malfoy too; inside the mind of the enemy, as it were. And poor Minerva... blinded by her loyalty, what will she do now? And Hermione - she's practically reverted to pre-Troll shyness.

Author reply
Yup, it's no fun to be Hermione right now. But I guess it's better than being Dumbledore or McGonagall. They've both got some serious decisions to make soon. Thanks for the review--next chapter coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 21 from BJH on June 20, 2009

Hmm, after Fawkes' not-so-little statement, I wonder if Dumbledore will seriously reconsider his actions and positions or will he just chalk it up to one more person not capable of understanding his wisdom and carry on? And will anyone consider that Hermione might just have some sort of tracking or eavesdropping charms on her? And how will Minnie react to learning the truth? So many questions, such little room to review. BJH

Author reply
Thanks for the review, BJH. Next chapter will address most of those questions. I wouldn't place any bets on Dumbledore changing his ways, though. There's more Minerva next chapter, which should be coming on Saturday. Cheers.