Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 21 from Voice of the Nephilim on June 20, 2009

Well, at least Harry tried to reason with him. That's far better than just ranting at Dumbledore, even if it achieved nothing. Harry turning to McGonagall was a good idea. Would Percy really go along with this, knowing it was Death Eaters who murdered his father? Wow, a raid upon the wizarding wireless? Who could have come up with such an awesome idea! :) Nice bit with Lucius' thoughts. Wizarding Britian is rather fucked right now, eh? Ha, Fawkes just couldn't take Dumbledore's bullshit any more. Nice. Fawkes dumping him in the lake and torching his office was great. I rather think their partnership is now at a definitive end. Well done on the chapter.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Voice. More on Percy will be forthcoming. I don't really see him mourning the loss of his family too much, not when the Minister 'depends' on him. Isn't the raid on the wireless a great idea? I concur, and wonder how I thought of such a thing. Cheers :) And you're right about Dumbledore and Fawkes. The relationship is through, although Fawkes will re-enter the story towards the end. Next chapter coming on Saturday (hopefully).

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 21 from whatareyouevensaying on June 20, 2009

One would think that having his phoenix abandon him would help Dumbledore realize the folly of his actions, but somehow I doubt it will have that effect. Still, glad Fawkes finally made his(?) stand. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. And, yeah, I wouldn't be laying down any money on Dumbledore changing his ways. Next chapter coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 21 from Aaran St Vines on June 19, 2009

I always love a brill Fawkes-Leaves-Dumbledore when it's a manipulative Dumbledore story. This was one of the very best. Good stuff!

Author reply
Glad you liked it, Aaran. Fawkes won't be bonding with Harry, so he'll be gone from the scene for awhile. Next chapter should be ready by Saturday. Thanks for reading!

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 21 from Nth_X on June 19, 2009

Fawkes "fawking" rocks! Its about darn time he responds to Dumbledore. I guess it was a case of giving him enough rope to hang himself with. He let Albus slip further and further down his slippery slope, and once he passed the point of no return, Fawkes went all DEFCON 1 on his arse. Very cool. Thanks for writing.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Nth_X. I admit it was fun to have Fawkes drop Dumbledore in the lake. I won't spoil anything about Fawkes' reasons, but he'll reappear in the story towards the end. Thanks for reading.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 20 from rakavolver on June 17, 2009

I definitely like where this story is heading and especially how Harry is magically powerful but still restrained by the adults. Too often I see stories turn into powerful! and Indy! Harry. Just a couple points though: Would the mirror being in Dumbledore's possession still react when Harry calls for Parvati? And, unless there's a small town in Ontario called "New Brunswick", you just named two provinces.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, rakavolver. You're right on both points. The mirror wouldn't react to Dumbledore alone, as will be clear next chapter. And I completely screwed up with the 'New Brunswick, Ontario.' Looks like I need a Canadian beta. I'll edit that out soon, and thanks for catching it.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 20 from Jeram on June 14, 2009

Ah, so the Dumbledore needs exfoliant and tanning cream! Then he'll feel as pretty as a Patil, as the saying goes. I think it's kind of an interesting twist on the love potion keeping Ginny out of it - not that it's necessarily a bad thing she wasn't. A bit atypical, is all. Also interesting idea with the broom killing Rabastan - canon Death Eater are falling in numbers a bit, aren't they? A nicely vicious chapter.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Jeram. I imagine that Dumbledore needs a bit more than tanning cream to make him as pretty as a Patil. The canon Death Eaters are taking a beating, aren't they? Malfoy muses on this very fact next chapter. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 20 from Aaran St Vines on June 13, 2009

I want Dumbledore dead! Great chapter!

Author reply
Sorry, Aaran, but I can't guarantee Dumbledore's death any time soon. There's still a lot of fighting and romancing to do. I think you'll enjoy his various confrontations next chapter, though.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 20 from whatareyouevensaying on June 13, 2009

Errg...that was a pretty perfect cliffie, but you could have just ended the chapter a few paragraphs earlier. This chapter was very impressive, but it makes me wonder how Dumbledore figured Parvati out. Maybe he keeps tabs on Hermione? It isn't a bad idea, considering her loyalties. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks for the review and the kind words. I just couldn't resist the cliffhanger. You're exactly right about Dumbledore keeping tabs on Hermione, as will soon be clear. Next chapter coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 20 from wolf550e on June 12, 2009

"I tried to get the Headmaster to find a different away again and again, but he ignored me." - way "so he’s the only I can talk to openly" - only one Wait, there was no precaution against Dumbledore getting eveyrthing Parvati knows out of her using Legilemency or Veritaserum, right? So are the girls going to be Obliviated or killed? Does Legilemency work across a magical mirror?

Author reply
Thanks for those catches, wolf. I'll ninja-edit them later. You're right about both the legilimency and the veritaserum. The situation with the girls gets resolved next chapter. It should be ready for posting tomorrow or Saturday.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 20 from Voice of the Nephilim on June 12, 2009

Good opening scene. I'm not really surprised Harry had such a violent reaction. Harry's lack of perspective on the manner falls in line with his adolescence. Considering Croaker's way of handling it, he kept his patience well. I find it odd in the Turpin scene, that each of the Turpins were referred to by their full names throughout the scene. The locations of the combatants were rather confusing, since at first it seemed like Lizzy shouldn't have been able to escape. Upon re-reading it was fine, but maybe some clarity should have been in order. Rabastan's death was kinda neat. Good interactions between Harry and Parvati. I like that he didn't let Hermione off the hook for her actions. Is ebony a wood? I thought it was a color. I always like it when goblins are portrayed as bastards. Well done. The fight scene was well done. I do think some more spell variety would have been good, as everyone seemed to just use blasters and cutters. Ha, nice cliffhanger. Well done on the chapter.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Voice. I'll go back and look at the Turpin scene; I may have overused their last names. I probably need to make the geography of Lizzy's room clearer too. Ebony is a wood as well as a color, so far as I know. There will be more spell variety in coming fights, particularly as Voldemort, Dumbledore, and other heavy hitters join the action. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 20 from BJH on June 12, 2009

I am curious to see how the conflicting oaths Hermione swore will interact. She swore loyalty to both harry and Dumbledore so what happens when DD tells her to tell him what harry said? Helping DD, even answering his questions could be seen as a violation of her oath and she can't refuse to answer without violating her earlier oaths. And what about Ginny and the twins? And I do hope Parvati doesn't get herself hurt. I also have to say that I am not sure I agree with Croaker's estimation that they only have one Dark Lord to deal with. Voldemort is more direct and honest with his brutality, yes, but both wizards will kill to get what they want. voldie is just more honest about it. Would that make him the lighter wizard of the two? It just seems to me that the real war is between Voldemort and Dumbledore and the Wizarding World is jus tthe battleground. Both will kill without hesitation to achieve their goals so who is to say which is the light and which the dark? BJH

Author reply
Thanks for the thorough review, BJH. As I imagined them, Hermione's oaths to Dumbledore do not conflict with her oaths to Harry. She swore a secrecy rather than a loyalty oath to Dumbledore. The situation with Ginny and the twins will become clearer soon, probably in chapter 22. With respect to Dumbledore, I agree that he's a Dark Lord by certain definitions. The difference, I think, is that he's willing to do anything to achieve what he perceives as the greater good. He doesn't revel in suffering and chaos like Voldemort does. Next chapter coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 19 from Jeram on June 07, 2009

Enjoyable. Although now I need to look back to make sure Pettigrew and Harry have never met. Take a quick look over this one - I thought I may have noticed one or two typos. That was an interesting idea - connecting runes with wand movements. Don't think I've seen that before. Although I think being an Animagus could potentially be useful - mostly in things like travel (if you're a bird), spying/clandestine behavior (small animals like rats, stoats, rodents), or vicious attacks (wolves, large cats, bears). Certainly if the form isn't something quick and powerful, it's almost useless in a fight - unless it's just very fast, then you could run away.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Jeram. Harry and Pettigrew met in the graveyard, but he doesn't recognize him as Wormtail. Not yet, at least. The interrogation scene is coming next chapter. I agree about the usefulness of animagus training, but the Aurors are trying to give him a crash course in combat. Harry will eventually want to pursue it to honor his father and Sirius, but things are too hectic for him at the moment. Next chapter should be ready tomorrow. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 19 from johnnybravo on June 06, 2009

great story....keep going.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, johnnybravo. It's always great to know that people are enjoying the story. The next chapter is almost finished, and should be ready for posting sometime tomorrow.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 19 from Aaran St Vines on June 06, 2009

So, that answers my fears about Tonks and the mirror. It was female-embarrass-the-males devious, not garden variety devious. Of course, you could still have something negative come of it. Nice chapter.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Aaran. Yup, Tonks was conspiring with Parvati rather than Dumbledore. She seems like a natural ally for the girl, given her personality. Next chapter should be ready tomorrow.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 19 from wolf550e on June 05, 2009

"Harry thought he would around naked to show it off" - missing verb It's just filler. If Harry learns next chapter that Dumbledore set up Sirius to get imprisoned and kissed, it doesn't change anything. What would Pettigrew be able to reveal under Veritaserum?

Author reply
Thanks for the review, wolf. There was plenty of filler here, but it wasn't pointless filler. I want the story to remain character-driven, so sometimes it's necessary to slow the plot down and aim for some emotional realism. Next chapter should be ready tomorrow.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 19 from Voice of the Nephilim on June 05, 2009

A nice transitional chapter that gave us some new information. Well done.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. There wasn't a lot of action, but sometimes I like to slow things down to maintain the emotional realism. Next chapter coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 19 from whatareyouevensaying on June 05, 2009

Excellent update, I'm really excited to see Harry's reaction to the veritable fountain of information they're going to get on Wormtail. I'm a bit excited for Sirius as well, because I have a feeling you've got something interesting in mind for him. And if you don't...well...it's still Sirius. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. The interrogation scene with Pettigrew is coming next chapter. It's a little late to get justice for Sirius, seeing as how he's dead, but Harry certainly won't take what was done to him lying down. Next chapter coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 18 from BJH on May 26, 2009

Oh boy, that certainly put a fix on things. Given that the speech was most likely crafted by Lucius for Voldie I can just imagine who the 50 new Aurors will be. So now we have a situation where Harry, Amelia and her backers are going to be hunted as criminals by a legitimate Dark Wizarding government. I think it also means that Harry and Amelia will somehow have to learn to fight alongside Dumbledore and his Order. How will that work out? Is the enemy of my enemy my firend? Or will DD spend all of his time chiding Amelia for not doing things his way and being oh so dissappointed in Harry for not being a willing Martyr? and on a personal level how will this effect Harry? Will he be forced to return to Hogwarts and interact with Hermione and Ron, even if it does give him closer access to Parvati (loved the bit with the bath mirror btw). And why did Tonks have the mirror? Who was she talking to? Was it Remus in a romantic sense or is she still serving two masters? BJH P.S. And why was Winky wearing a pillowcase again? Did I miss her being bonded to another family? Doesn't Crouch give her a little pink skirt and jumper in canon?

Author reply
Thanks for the review, BJH. You're right that Fudge's new regime will create havoc for everyone. You'll see what it does for Dumbledore next chapter, but I will say that Harry won't be returning to Hogwarts. The situation with Tonks and the mirror will be resolved next chapter as well. I perhaps made it sound more ominous than was necessary. Winky was wearing a pillowcase just because that's what I always imagine house elves wearing. I know Crouch gave her clothes, but I don't remember the details. Did he actually give her a little pink jumper? Regardless, she hasn't bonded with a new family yet. Next chapter coming soon. Thanks again for reading.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 18 from Jeram on May 25, 2009

Kind of a crazy chapter. I liked how Fudge was portrayed - spineless, yet he knows what he's doing is wrong. And that fight scene really escalated, didn't it? You asked about Snape's motivations - I guess although I can understand his current hatred of Voldemort due to his craziness, Snape just never really seemed to me to buy in to the whole 'pure-blood supremacy' thing really. I guess it just seemed like he was more into the power and prestige of the whole thing, but didn't believe in the cause. I think things are actually getting pretty interesting - I like how you play good news and bad news against each other here, and even Harry/Parvati is building at a slow burn (although the nudity seemed a tad gratuitous).

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Jeram. Glad you liked Fudge's characterization; it seems to me that he'd be willing to sell out everybody to save his sorry hide. I actually agree with you about Snape's motivations. He was in it from the start because being a DE gave him a chance to have the power and respect he never had growing up. Which is why he was willing to play both sides and eventually realize that LV had to go. He never had any personal devotion to the Dark Lord or his politics. Next installment coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 18 from wolf550e on May 25, 2009

Awesome! Dark!Dumbledore has been beaten to death, but you wrote an original one! And Harry's power is ok, he won his first fight because they didn't want to kill him and were surprised by his power. Just make sure it gets harder for Harry or it won't be believable.

Author reply
Thanks for the kind words, wolf. I tried to give Harry a believable power-up without turning him into a superhero. Don't worry, he won't suddenly develop elemental ninja powers :) He'll have to work for his wins, and he'll find Voldemort and Dumbledore more than a handful.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 18 from Voice of the Nephilim on May 24, 2009

If Dobby was hit with a Sectumsempra, wouldn't there have been a spray of blood? Ha, fucking awesome! Snape's dead! I think a blasting curse to the head, with an accompanying explosion of blood and brains would have been more dramatic, but what we got was still great. I liked how Harry made sure that he was the one dictating terms of his and Moody's conversation. Very clearly, too. Great action scene, which bodes very well for the future of this story. I very much liked how Fawkes took an active role in transporting Kingsley. Fawkes' methods of intimidation were also very well done, and quite effective. I wonder why Fawkes still hangs around Dumbledore. I like this competent Lucius. He played Fudge like a piano. Granted, it probably wasn't hard, with Fudge being the shmuck that he is. Ha, Amelia's reaction was very logical, despite the rage behind it. This should complicate things, which always makes for a more interesting narrative. Could Tonks' be under Dumbledore's control in some fashion? That would explain the mirror, since Dumbledore would want to know who Harry's contact in Hogwarts was. A very good chapter. Bring on ze chaos!

Author reply
Thanks for the review, VotN. I have to admit that it was fun to send the greasy bastard to his death. Your question about Fawkes will become a cause for speculation for several characters soon. I'll just say that he's got a few more small roles to play in the story. A competent Lucius is fun to write. It's one of the main reasons I wanted to make Voldemort insane. It forces Malfoy to take the reins behind the scenes and try to save their asses despite Voldemort. The situation with Tonks and the mirror will be resolved next chapter, and it's not quite as sinister as some people are speculating. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 18 from Rain on May 24, 2009

As soon as I'm about to close my email, resolved not to find any new stories today I always see my inbox say "1 new message" xP Brightens my day. Thank you for writing and great work as always.

Author reply
Thanks, Rain. Glad I could brighten your day; your inbox should get another delivery in a few days.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 18 from Aaran St Vines on May 24, 2009

Why do I fell reeeeeally nervous about Tonks and the mirror? Well, it's because you've set it up to be that foreboding. This is excellent.

Author reply
Thanks, Aaran. The situation with Tonks and the mirror will be addressed next chapter; you'll have to wait a few more days to sate your curiosity. :)

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 18 from whatareyouevensaying on May 24, 2009

Glad Snape is toast, this is one story that he had no true place in. Dumbledore is worse without him. I can't believe how easy it was for Voldemort, truth be told. I don't have words! Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. It was fun to send Snape on to the next great adventure. It was pretty easy for Voldemort to gain nominal control of the Ministry, but actual control will be quite a bit harder. Things are about to get really messy.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 17 from Jeram on May 21, 2009

Whoops - forgot to review this chapter. I liked this one, cliffhanger and all. Although I will admit I don't care for the Snape bit - not sure I believed his motivations, really. And I think "But it was too late" is kinda too cliche for your story, which tends to subvert them. Still - fun.

Author reply
Thanks for the review, Jeram. Was there something in particular that you didn't buy about Snape's motives? I tried to make them more plausible than what we saw in canon. The idea that he was in love with Lily just didn't fit with the rest of his personality (at least for me). Is the 'but it was too late' line a cliche, or do you mean that style of writing? It may just be a stylistic quirk of mine. Thanks again for reading--next chapter should be ready soon.