Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 9 from Aaran St Vines on April 30, 2009

Fantastically planned and executed escape sequence.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 8 from Aaran St Vines on April 30, 2009

Great plot development.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 7 from Aaran St Vines on April 30, 2009

Just fascinating.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 6 from Aaran St Vines on April 29, 2009

An amazing string of very clever plot twists. Clever - my third and equal to the first two - best compliments.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 5 from Aaran St Vines on April 29, 2009

Okay, that REALLY DID go AU. Good stuff.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 4 from Aaran St Vines on April 29, 2009

You say in your note this will go more AU, but I think it is a really well developed and well round AU already.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 2 from Aaran St Vines on April 29, 2009

I've read a number of Manipulative Dumbledores and I'm writing one myself. Yours is unique and brilliant - my two highest accolades for fanfic concepts. Cheers

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 1 from Aaran St Vines on April 29, 2009

Nice start to this AU. Really sad about Sirius but I'm sure you have a reason. Great that you don't have instant success for Harry setting himself up in the lap of luxury with everything he needs. I like the poor man's approach.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 14 from Nth_X on April 28, 2009

This story is very well written and also seems to be a very realistic depiction of the actual abilities of a 15 year-old Harry. I can't help feeling sorry for Harry, when even the adults "protecting" him are contemplating his death...why do I get the impression that he may be running for his life once again in the near future? Anyway, thanks for writing!

Author reply
Thanks for the kind words. I'm doing my best to keep things realistic, although Harry's abilities will gradually improve throughout the story. Your guess may not be far off the mark. You'll find out soon enough--next chapter will be ready on Sunday. Thanks for reading.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 14 from BJH on April 26, 2009

"Thingns were finally looking up", never was a more dangerous omen err spoken. I wonder how Harry would react if he was strolling around the Bones' manor under his cloak and over heard Cloaker and Amelia discussing whether they ought to return Harry to Dumbledore now or wait and see what happens? Will the rat be killed or captured? Maybe just seen by someone who would recognize him? Methinks the rabbit's hole goes waaaaay deeper than Wonderland. BJH

Author reply
Yeah, I don't think Alice would survive for a day in this rabbit hole. Harry would no doubt be less than pleased to discover that Bones and Croaker are vacillating. The rat scene wasn't just a throw away--dear old Peter will come into play very soon. Cheers, and thanks for reading.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 14 from Jeram on April 26, 2009

Ah, Ron's an idiot. Classic, but it's classic for a reason. Everyone loves it. I liked that particular scene. One of the things I like about this story is how Croaker is portrayed pretty realistically - he really would sacrifice Harry for "the greater good". Greek tragedies,eh? Well, that certainly doesn't bode well for things going "happily ever after". The army reference was subtle. A few oddities: "type of person who would willingly put her hands in another person’s mouth" - Uh, what? Perhaps you should rephrase that. "Parvati smiled as her face appeared in the mirror." - I think you meant "his" face. Also I can't seem to remember this Black business - he died before Harry knew he was innocent, is that it? Still, good chapter.

Author reply
It's fun to pick on Ron, isn't it? It helps because it's so easy. I'm glad you're enjoying Croaker. He's just as cold-blooded as Dumbledore in his way, but doesn't approach things from quite the same angle. Those two aren't done butting heads yet. The 'hand in mouth' phrase was meant to refer to the fact that she was an oddly prissy person to be a dentist, but perhaps I should have used 'fingers.' I'll go back and change that eventually. Yup, Sirius died before Harry discovered his innocence. He'll discover it in spectacular fashion soon enough. Thanks for reading--next chapter will be ready Sunday.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 14 from whatareyouevensaying on April 26, 2009

Excellent update, as usual. I really like the contrasts between Dumbledore, Croaker and Bones. Each one is against Harry to a certain extent, but none of their opinions are completely invalid, and two of them are still actively helping him. It's good to see Parvati talking to him as well. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks! I'm trying to have each of the power players approach Harry's situation from a different angle. There will be plenty of H/P in the near future as well. Thanks again for reading.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 14 from Voice of the Nephilim on April 26, 2009

I'm not sure if someone acting like a professional would start off with "Hullo", as opposed to "hello", but perhaps that's Tonks just being out of her element. I don't think you introduce things for no reason, so I'm curious to see where the Grangers fit into the scope of the story. My guess? They know about Hermione's acts of betrayal. I believe it was a silencing spell the twins hit Ron with, not a sticking charm. Croaker's logic seems to be the most solid out of anyone in the Headmaster's Office. I like that he can view the situation with cold-blooded efficiency. That being said, I still don't exactly buy Dumbledore's reasoning. Was this really full disclosure from him? I liked the concept of Harry and Tonks' mock duel, with his overpowered spells against Tonks superior speed and technique. Yay for future violence and gore. Well done on the chapter. I eagerly await the next.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. Your wish for violence and gore will soon be sated, I hope. :) It wasn't quite full disclosure from Dumbledore, but he does believe in his stated reasons for trying to get Harry killed. I don't really think they're convincing either, but so long as the reader can accept that it's plausible for Dumbledore to believe them, I'll be satisfied. Next chapter coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 13 from Jeram on April 22, 2009

Decent plot-pushing chapter. Slow burn.

Author reply
Thanks...the slow burn gets a little hotter next chapter, and then things reach the boiling point in chapter 15.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 13 from whatareyouevensaying on April 20, 2009

Excellent update, as usual, it's good to see a Dumbledore that I can't root entirely against, but obviously can't support as well. Authors such as yourself who are capable of easily establishing that there are even more than three sides to the wizarding world's conflicts are a precious commodity. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Thanks for the kind words. I'm trying to keep everyone's motives and reactions realistic, even if it slows down the plot sometimes. Dumbledore is a real bastard here, but I agree that he can be considered sympathetic from the right angle. He really isn't motivated by personal gain, but he is certainly blinded by his own arrogance. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 13 from BJH on April 19, 2009

Nice chapter. I liked the description of the pain of having the block removed. I also like the cautious way you are treating the Parvati relationship. Not rushingn into it. I wonder why Padma dislikes Harry so though. No mention of Hermione, but you did drop me a note saying that you were thinking of having Ron be eaten by an Acromantella. The neat thing about spider venom is how it works. It doesn't kill, instead it liquifies the preys internal organs so the spider can drink them since it has no teeth persay. And since the venom is natural and not magic would a search for a magical organ melting curse detect it? That could lead to an interesting mix up if Poppy thought Ron was cursed but instead he was poisoned. It might take him days to die if only a little bit of poison was delivered. Or he could wind up a vegetable with magical life support taking the place of his natural bodily functions and his muscles to rotted to be used. Yuck. BJH

Author reply
Thanks for the review. I'll do my best to keep the H/P action realistic. And I really like your description of how spider venom works. I've made a note of it, and poor Ron may discover this knowledge firsthand someday.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 13 from Voice of the Nephilim on April 19, 2009

Ritual rooms? I like it already. Good, it looks like Harry's block may be gone. His reaction was certainly appropriate. I would have liked to have seen a little more detail into the ritual itself. Croaker spoke of the ritual being potentially hugely dangerous, with a chance of death, but all we see him do is speak unidentified Latin and tap a stone. I enjoyed Harry and Parvati's interactions. They follow logistically, since Harry doesn't have a dearth of experience with the opposite sex. What criminal matters perpetrated by Dumbledore does Skeeter refer to? Unless she's just using buzzwords without basis. Well, none that she's aware of, anyway. Why would Harry's Transfiguration skills be affected? Unless he used to putting forth a certain amount of power into his Transfigurations, and he's screwing up because he's putting too much magic into it. Well done on the chapter, even if it was fairly uneventful.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. I left out the ritual itself because I couldn't be bothered to write it. Lazy, I know, but my Latin isn't great and it was easier to just show the end result than make up something out of thin air. On second thought, though, I could have included naked virgins had I written the ritual out. Oh well. Skeeter is basically just printing what she's told to print. She's under Fudge's thumb, and has nothing to fear from accusations of slander. Harry's loss of transfiguration skills will figure later in the story. It will affect the way he fights, and basically I needed him to have a weakness. To my thinking, magic involves more than tapping a big reservoir of power, so it's possible for certain skills to be 'damaged' by the kind of block Dumbledore used. Next chapter coming tomorrow. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 12 from Jeram on April 17, 2009

Slam! Good chapter. I can't say I think your horcrux theory is perfect (because there are other reasons why they may not be used - or maybe, it did work, and those immortals are actually still around somewhere...) Still, fun stuff.

Author reply
Thanks! It was a fun chapter to write. The theory that horcruxes don't work certainly has its own flaws, but JKR left an opening that I couldn't resist. The idea that Tom Riddle discovered them at age 16 and was the only 'Dark Lord' to use them just struck me as implausible. Perhaps there are immortal Dark Lords in other parts of the world, but I was willing to assume there weren't for my purposes here. I remember reading a DrT story where all of the ancient gods were wizards with horcruxes; they were still alive but played no real role in mortal affairs. It was a neat idea in some respects, but it seems to me that a truly immortal bad man would have taken over the world long ago. Anyway, more on horcruxes coming later... Thanks for reading. More coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 12 from Rain on April 13, 2009

Very nice. :D Thank you very much for the chapter. I love the twists and turns this story takes, and the writing is pretty decent too. It's not the best I've seen but too good for me to give any reliable criticism. Thank you! And I look forward to reading more.

Author reply
Glad you're still enjoying it Rain! There are more twists and turns in the near future. Next chapter coming soon.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 12 from BJH on April 12, 2009

Nice chapter, I really liked how you shot holes through the whole horcrux thing. I have to admit that it is an angle I never thought of. If horcruxes worked then where is the guy who invented them? I also like how Hermione still appears to be suffering from her actions and her oath. Will Ron ever feel guilty? BJH

Author reply
Thanks for the review--I've never seen someone reject the effectiveness of horcruxes outright, and it's kind of surprising to me. The whole idea of them strikes me as implausible in the extreme. There will be more later on how Voldemort managed to survive. Hermione is suffering very much, but there will be a change in her situation fairly soon. And I honestly haven't decided what to do about Ron yet, except that he won't have a major role from here on in. He is the only canon character that makes my blood boil--I almost can't read fics where he's portrayed in a positive light. It's a flaw of mine as a reader, I guess, but I simply can't imagine him objectively. I well and truly hate that kid's guts; I haven't decided yet whether to give into my temptation to have him eaten by an acromantula. :) Thanks for reading.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 12 from whatareyouevensaying on April 12, 2009

Yeah, having Dumbledore put in his place by Croaker was very satisfying. It's a pity they weren't able to get through all of his self-delusions. Hopefully Harry can figure out more about Sirius in the next chapter as well, so I can make sense of the departures from canon. Looking forward to more.

Author reply
Glad you were satisfied with that scene; it was very satisfying to write. The Sirius situation will be resolved over the next few chapters, and will spark quite a fire in Harry's camp. Regarding the canon departures, I'll post a brief note at the beginning of the next chapter. The biggest change, aside from Dumbledore's manipulations, was the fact that Harry never met Sirius and is thus unaware of his innocence, Pettigrew's existence, etc. Next chapter coming soon. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 12 from Inziladun on April 12, 2009

On one hand if Dumbledore was right everything would be much more difficult for Harry and he would have to run again. On the other, I suppose that this enables him to be somewhat allied with Bones, some sense of security. However the confrontation with Dumbledore makes him seem somehow stupid, and from what it seems Voldemort is not much better, I think that for Harry to be great he needs real enemies. What I'm trying to say is that maybe you shouldn't downplay their intelligence, that would make Harry (should he win) just less-stupid than his enemies. On the other hand, I liked that Amelia does what she thinks is necessary, and that Croaker would kill Harry if that meant that Voldemort dies, it shows they aren't stupid. Good work.

Author reply
Thanks for the review. I was worried about Dumbledore seeming stupid in that scene, but I wanted him to get a comeuppance of sorts from a more knowledgeable character. I don't want him to seem stupid so much as arrogant. He's smart, but he believes in his own wisdom and doesn't consult with others. Harry will have all sorts of enemies in the coming conflict, so it won't be the traditional Harry v. Voldemort story. That will remain the most important fight, but there will be quite a few other issues complicating it. Thanks for reading.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 12 from Voice of the Nephilim on April 12, 2009

Croaker seems to be mentioned quite a lot in fan-fiction, so I assume that he is actually a canon character. Can you recall from where, because I haven't the faintest idea. Interesting idea, that Horcruxes don't work. It does suggest a fatal flaw in Horcrux logic, in that shouldn't there be ancient Dark Lords. Well done. I like Dumbledore getting crushed by Croaker. It makes sense, since an Unspeakable would probably know more about obscure types of magic. I do wonder why Dumbledore didn't just kill Harry earlier. Croaker brought up a very good point there. If Dumbledore were to kill him, wouldn't that negate the prophecy? Unless the situation would always change to ensure Harry's survival, meaning that choice is an illusion. Not an idea I'm fond of. Oh yes, a very competent Lucius. i like the idea that he's almost the one person holding Voldemort's operation together, using his influence to succeed despite his Master's seeming complete lack of foresight. I guess in the third year, Sirius never viewed Harry in dog form, so Harry never saw what he first might have thought was the grim. I like that Croaker can distance himself emotionally from the situation, and would turn over Harry if it meant the death of Voldemort. Makes the situation a bit more interesting, with more places where the whole situation could ignite. Well done. I'm liking your frequent rate of update. I eagerly await the next.

Author reply
Thanks for the thorough review. Croaker is a canon character, but he's only mentioned in passing by Arthur Weasley in book 4. He's the only named unspeakable save for Rookwood, so I think most fanfic writers just latch on to him when they need somebody from the DoM. He'll have an important role to play here, and I too like the idea of there being someone in the DoM who's more knowledgeable than Dumbledore. He's just a school headmaster, not a researcher or true academic. Dumbledore didn't kill Harry when he was a baby because he wanted to play it safe and stick to the literal requirements of the prophecy: "either must die at the hand of the other." He's about to learn how badly he screwed up, and not because of his mistake with the horcruxes. It was fun to write the smackdown scene and poke some holes in JKR's tidy little horcux theory. I never liked the idea in canon. Lucius will be very important to the story. One of the reasons I made Voldemort insane was to portray some of the DEs as unwilling soldiers caught in a trap. Lucius will have to keep the ship afloat despite his master's lack of restraint. Next chapter will be ready soon, and thanks for reading.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 11 from dimriver on April 11, 2009

Interesting. I look forward to the next chapter. Thanks for writing.

Author reply
Next chapter coming in a day or two. Cheers.

Review for The Potter Conspiracy Chapter 11 from Inziladun on April 11, 2009

I don't envy Harry, he goes around telling everyone that Dumbledore wants to sacrifice him to Voldemort, someone is going to ask himself if its worth protecting Harry if there is a chance that by dying Voldemort will be taken care of... Someone its bound to betray him, lets hope that he grows a backbone and starts fighting.

Author reply
You're absolutely right, and the next chapter will make his position all the more precarious. But Harry WILL get some relief, and as soon as he's in a position to do so, he'll start showing everyone what he can do. He's got a backbone right now, but he's so hemmed in that he has very few options. Thanks for reading!